Why would I drink and drive when I could drink alone in the basement?

Not a joke. My cousin has one of those. Yes he is pretty dumb

Unfortunately they always seem to be able to reproduce before Darwin can get to them.

Amateurs. Just fill your windshield wiper fluid tank with grain alcohol, and pipe the hose into the vehicle cabin through the firewall.

I have two hands for a reason!

Double-fisting? One on the beer, one in the rear?

That's genius. It makes it easier for the officer to open the beer that I offer him.

And if I want to open a bottle while I am driving? How can I do?

Amateurs, I just pop the bottle caps off the steering wheel. It's all in the wrists.

It's super easy to open beers with all the different seatbelts.anyway. it's like manufacturere designed it in.