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  • My confidence in speaking publicly was entirely the result of fake it till you make it.

    As a kid I was reserved and not outgoing. In 4H, one of the things the local group promoted was being able to give presentations about topics, and they gave a lot of help in how to do it and the one thing they always drove home was that while some people are naturally comfortable speaking in front of groups, most people are not and they gave some famous examples that I have since forgotten.

    So we had to give presentations with posters to judges who then asked follow up questions, and the entire time we were reminded that acting confident is basically the same thing as being confident to those that are watching and eventually it will suddenly stick kind of like how riding a bike works. After a few years, I went from freezing up to being comfortable in a small group, and after keeping up with it through high school my actual confidence was there by the time adulthood kicked in. In my current job I am regularly volunteered to present because they all see me as good at it, which is true because I faked it until I made it.

    Do note that this worked for me because the learning setting I was in was supportive and reinforced the need to just keep trying.

    Relationships, sports, and a lot of other non-dangerous settings are also ripe for the idea that just pretending to be confident and comfortable to eventually become comfortable with the settings. It is important to keep in mind that constant learning while faking it is important to actually succeed. Even after a lot of success I am still not comfortable hosting complex social settings or figuring out what the hell is fashionable, so sometimes faking it has not resulted in making it. But at least an attempt was tried.

    Things that are not good for fake it till you make it are working with heavy machinery, dangerous chemicals, or anything that has a significant risk of death.

  • I work in IT as a self-taught developer. I tried so hard to prove myself that I ended up stepping on the toes of my team-mates, who had to basically tell me, "You're doing a great job, fucking relax."

    Meanwhile we hire 3rd party contractors and new developers who talk and talk about how great they are... and then everything they do is a mess that we have to clean up.

    Many successful people are just putting on a show. They're imposters without imposter syndrome. Confidence is half the battle. You can learn everything else.

  • Paramedicine/Emergency medicine?

    We often have no idea what we are doing. And we can't have.And there is literally no idea that we ever can.

    Imagine this: To study medicine you go to uni full time for 6 years around here. And then you have another 6 to 10 years until you become a specialist in your respective field. Only then, we as a society believe and trust you enough that you can deal with everything life can throw at you and you will work without any consultant, etc. covering your back in some way, including all emergencies, no matter how rare it is. Now, that's of course only valid for your own field, none would expect a cardiologist to deliver a baby, even less a breach position. In the back of a car in a snowstorm.

    Now. Paramedicine and EM? We get everything whenever they are worst off. My last few shift (I only work occasionally these days, more in a management role) we had to deal with life threatening emergencies from 6 different specialities: Vascular (Typ A aneurysm),neuro(Cerebral bleeding),Gyn(acute postpartum hemorrhage leading into cardiac arrest), paediatrics (patient with a syndrome even the ED Paediatrician had to google it), trauma.

    Sure. We don't have to operate on the cerebral bleeding, but these are the easy ones. (And we won't be sure it is one anyway, no imaging besides the emerging ultrasound for us...)

    The first breach delivery I did was the second birth I ever saw - and my colleague with 20 years more experience never saw one that wasn't his wife before.... The first real life-treatening paediatric emergency? A 4 year old traumatic cardiac arrest post high speed collision.

    And now,after 20 years in all roles this field can offer,from remote/wilderness work, helicopter, fixed wing, crit care,etc....I can safely say: While the "normal stuff" like heart attacks or strokes do no longer make me feel thrilled - there is always that stuff waiting around the corner you either never saw before or -almost as bad- haven't seen in a decade. Only to be hit three times in a week by it. (When training to become a paramedic after working as a EMT I did not see a single cardiac arrest for the whole multi -year traing period. After graduation? Five in my first week....)

    This makes this profession only viable for people who are good at ignoring this or people who can really fake it well - competence simulation is a key. But no matter how much you fake it,you will never make it fully. Because people REALLY don't want to see a panicked paramedic. (And in the end it comes down to an old joke of the profession being true: If the patient is in a situation we can't make sense either it's not urgent or it will soon be a situation we know very well: Cardiac arrest)

  • I've had a terrible time whenever I tried to fake it. Something goes terribly wrong, or I'm completely at a loss of how to play it off like I know what I'm doing, and I'm super stressed out the entire time.

    I've had a much better time admitting when I realize I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I have permission to try to figure it out as I go, so then mistakes and failures are expected by everyone involved. Sometimes admitting my ignorance opens up training, or at least advice on where to start on a project.

  • It 100% works as long as you are making steady effort towards gaining the skills you need.

37 comments