If a person from 1700 asked you your job, would they understand your answer, and if not, how would you explain it to them?

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Few people from 2024 understand what I do, so no.
- What do you do?
  
  I'm an in-house consultant for Enterprise Content Management.
  
  Sounds IT-related. Can you fix my printer?
  
  Best I can do is strangle you with a USB cable.
  
  Nice. This is my new go-to answer for that question.
  
  I'm sure your granny will be thrilled.
  
  If it means I never have to deal with printers again, I'll take it.
  
  Can you do 2pm, next Tuesday?
  
  I'm down. The safe word is 'wenches'.
  
  Have you been stalking me?
  
  Use a micro or mini-b.
  
  LOL me likey
  
  Please tell me it's not Opentext...
  
  Fortunately not. I haven't quite descended to the seventh circle of hell yet.
  
  Exceed is still the only program that handles graphically intense Unix X11 sessions properly for Windows machines. It's still not great though.
  Some of us still have to slog through old CAD applications that have long been abandoned.
  
  Im gonna guess, is that a job where you advise a company on how to organize, store, and use "enterprise content" (im gonna guess that's like internal materials like training stuff, internal tools/software)
  
  Not totally wrong.
  
  I'm thinking of the episode of That '70s Show where Kelso's dad is trying to explain to Kelso what he does for a homework assignment.
  Kelso: "OK, let's get started. Question number one, what's your job?"
  John: "I'm a senior executive statistical analysis technician."
  Kelso: "You're a senior execu… what?"
  John: "Well, in plain English, I concatenate the verse statistical information to maximize the potential utilization of data."
  Kelso: "So you give people data!"
  ( Kelso is on the verge of writing it down. )
  John: "A lot of people think that. No. My job's not about output, it's about throughput."
  Kelso: "So you throughput data!"
  John: "Well, now you've lost me, son. Oh, listen Michael, you know the eight tracks you love so much?"
  Kelso: "You make them!"
  John: "No, but because of us, other people who make them are able to make them better."
  Kelso: "So, you fix stuff!"
  John: "You could say that..."
  ( Kelso starts writing. )
  John: "But I wouldn't."
  ( Kelso erases it with frustration. )
  And then it keeps going on the like for a while.
  
  Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes for me.
  
  Huh. Somehow I understand even less what you do than before I read that.
  
  My job is to leverage the core competencies of my employer into win win scenarios by proactively and synergistically reengineering document based processes. I hope that clears it up.

406 comments