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Funny @sh.itjust.works

The Picard Maneuver @startrek.website

1y ago

#LoveYourImperfections

17 comments

"Find your animal abuser match for free."
- Classic carnist dating

Fuck that psycho Charlotte. We know you want to. Find her on match.com
- Watch Charlotte's video of her riding bengal tigers to scare millions of water buffalo over a cliff in Africa. Charlotte puts the "harm" in eHarmony. Find Charlotte on eHarmony.com today!
- Phew, dodged a bullet here.

If this is America, and it was a House Sparrow, bastard had it coming. Awful invasive species, and it's one of, I believe, two ~~animals~~ birds which is always legal to kill here. Fuck sparrows. I'd swipe right.
Edit thanks to extra info from replies.
- There are Charlottes in your area that would like to meet
- Nah, there are more. Wild hogs, Burmese pythons, lion fish, etc.
  Iirc killing Burmese pythons is legally required in Florida.
  
  Maybe I was thinking of just birds, since the other one in my head is the European Starling, which is awful for pretty much the same reasons as Sparrows.
  Thanks for the extra info!
  
  Legally required? Like you see a Burmese python and you have to kill it?
- Fuck sparrows. I’d swipe right.
  With a tennis racquet?
- Judging by "tube" I'd say this is from Britain.

First she came for the sparrows, and I did not speak out because I am not a sparrow.

Abort mission ! Abort mission ! I repeat - abort mission !!

For a moment, I wondered if it was an expression like hitting an eagle in golf or something.
But of course not.

So do I need to bring my own, or will she provide the racquets on our first date?

17 comments