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I remember a form one time that asked me "what stage of life are you in"
Options being like Single, Married, Married with Children, etc
The part that made me blink wasn't so much the options but the use of the word "stage" , as if these things are mandatory steps in life, and by being unmarried I'm somehow still on the starting line.
Incredibly prescriptive of them.
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That's really some insight into why so many people are walking around unhappy. A lot of people have gotten married and even had children because that's what they're "supposed to" do. Same thing with how much emphasis is placed on sexual concepts like "losing your virginity" and shit like that. Like it's supposed to be this big momentous occasion, and if you don't do it soon enough, then something's wrong with you. Like sometimes I think about the ignorant shit asexual people must be exposed to on a regular basis.
And then there's the other extreme as well. My husband and I got married because it's something we legitimately wanted, and marriage is a custom that we never thought we could experience as a gay couple. I think that makes us value it more. It's not something we were "supposed to" do, but something we really wanted, and that was after five years of co-habitating.
I've had people lash out at me because they interpret our marriage as some statement that monogamy is the only valid relationship or that we're dismissing the discrimination that poly people face or something, and such is not the case at all. Our marriage is a personal choice for us, and I'd be the first one to say it's not for everyone. Us being married isn't some grand statement that you should be, too.
I wish we all could get away from this black-and-white idea that everything must be either one way or the other. There are so many ways a relationship might look, and there are also people who are perfectly fine not being in any sort of relationship, and this is all okay.
And on a related note, I wish we had more places and events that weren't centered around the "couple" or "the family," where it's okay to just show up as a single person and have fun. Maybe it's just because I live in a conservative area, but I feel like a lot of things are planned around the idea of a family, and people who don't fit the norm really don't have much to participate in. Like, there are things for people who are still in college, but after that there aren't too many options. I talk to my city council rep about this a lot.
Sorry, that turned into a damn sermon. I didn't expect to write so much lol
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It's a good sermon lol.
On my original point about "stages", the part that really got me thinking was that the person who designed that questionnaire probably didn't even give it a second glance. They just wrote it, and it felt fine, because to them it seemed like a normal way of thinking.
Same to your point about there being few events that aren't targetted at couples and families. When people are in a heteronormtive couple or a family, then they won't even notice how the whole world seems to be set up in a way that is tailored just for them. It's perfect for their needs, so why would they see anything deficient with it?
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I feel personally attacked by your first paragraph 😂 my parents having got married and had kids because they’re “supposed to” then promptly split up and were more concerned with being known as parents than actually being them, and also being an asexual constantly exposed to ignorant shit (and worse). I guess it's nice to be seen? lol
I also agree with the rest of it, I shared this the other day, I think it relates.. -
I'm poly. My gf and I have been together for almost 10 years and just had a baby last year. It's been grand, and still going strong, and still feel no reason to get married, so we aren't going to. It took several years for our families to realize that wasn't a phase, and we're not going to change our minds. They've seen by our example that you don't need to be married to be in a committed, loving, and trusting relationship. I think that has also helped open their eyes to new possibilities in other ways, like maybe monogamy isn't the only way to live a happy life, like they have always been told.
I'm not saying this to contradict you. I don't have any problems with people who want to live a monogamous life. It's just not for me. I wish more people could accept that everyone has a different definition of happiness and fulfillment and stop trying to force their prescription onto others.
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r/childfree called it "The Lifescript"
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That second screen was incorrect. It was supposed to say "Lonely" not "Alone". Thank you for bringing it to our attention, we have now corrected it. Enjoy your trip you lonely middle-aged person.
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My fix:
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0 - 17
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18 - 20
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21 - 69
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70+
And:
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Independent
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Couple
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Trio
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Polycule
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Borg
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Thank you
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Jeezus, can we have "Single" back?
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It asked for travel status, not relationship
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Would you say you're in a relationship, between relationships, or utterly hopeless?
Are you a child, a young adult, or are you vividly aware of the cold embrace of death coming to claim you?
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Sizes of the brackets are just weird: 2, 7, 4, 28 quick fix could be 2, 7, 12, 20
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No thats weird too, the brackets should be 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21
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phine
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2, 7, 4, 28
They're actually
32 (edit: the first one was right), 8, 5, 29https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Off-by-one_error#fencepost_error
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Where is this from??
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It's for determining which Railcards (for discounted tickets) you can get in the UK.
The 31-59 bracket doesn't get any Railcard options unless they want a Two Together card (for couples travelling together), a family card (same but with kids) or a special one for London commuters if you happen to travel at peak times and live near London. Younger and older people get cards based on their age alone for solo travel discounts
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This looks like it was coded by someone who knew the language well enough to speak but was absent the cultural implications of the words and numbers used.
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Me too.
