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Asklemmy @lemmy.ml shlocko @lemmy.world 1y ago

If the real world worked like Pokémon, what animal would evolve into what animal?

82 comments

Everything to crab
- https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation
  
  Carcinisation (American English: carcinization) is a form of convergent evolution in which non-crab crustaceans evolve a crab-like body plan. The term was introduced into evolutionary biology by L. A. Borradaile, who described it as "the many attempts of Nature to evolve a crab".
  
  Pretty neat
- This one’s my favorite!
- reject modernity, return to monkey. Reject monkey, advance to crab.
Caterpillar > Cocoon > Butterfly / Moth

Wait...
- The moth transformation occurs when the cocoon is near a lamp.
Hamster > Guinea Pig > Capybara
For sure guinea pigs would evolve into capybaras
- And hamsters into guinea pigs.
Gary Newman -> Gary Oldman
- Gary Oldman -> Gary Oak
- –⟩ Gary Busse
  
  the final phase
Lemming > Chihuahua > Honey Badger

Just angrier and angrier all the way through
- What level do we all evolve at?
Shrimp > Prawn > Lobster
- Aren't shrimp and prawn already the exact same thing?
  
  Like mountain lions and cougars.
  
  Shrimp vs prawn is colloquial, not a scientific classification, so it varies from place to place and person to person, and depending on the specific animal we're talking about, but in general
  
  The ones we call shrimp tend to:
  
  Live in salt water
  
  Be smaller
  
  Have curled bodies
  
  Belong to the sub-order pleocytema
  
  Have plate-like ~~girls~~ * gills*
  
  And the ones we call prawns tend to:
  
  Live in fresh water
  
  Be larger
  
  Have straight bodies
  
  Helong to the sub-order dendrobranghiata
  
  Have branching ~~hills~~ gills
Ferret > Badger > Bear
Tapir -> Rhinoceros -> Elephant
- Tapirs are one of those animals I always forget exist and am delighted when I am reminded of them.
  
  That’s shrews for me. They’re like rodents, but way cuter.
Female/Male Maine coon cat into male lion look with mane
- Mane equity!
  
  also 😸
Corgi into German Shepherd into Wolf
Quokka > Wallaby > Kangaroo
Alpaca > Llama > Camel

Yeast > Mold > Brie Rind > Chanterelle

Algae > Fern > Sunflower > Eucalyptus Tree

Squirrel > Raccoon > Bear

Deer > Elk/Caribou > Moose

Cow > Yak > Bison

Magpie > Crow > Raven

Ant > Termite > Bee > Hornet

Tick > Spider > Crab

Fox > Coyote > Wolf

Pillbug > Horseshoe Crab > Armadillo
Vulture > ostrich
Kanye West -> Kanye East
- this is only possible by trading the Kanye
  
  But also evolvable with the rare item: Kanye Shoes.
Camels -> giraffes
Elon musk > chimpanzees > humans
Salamander -> Turtle -> Seaturtle

Duck -> Flamingo -> Ostriche

Pidgeon -> Parrot -> Turkey

Hamster -> Ferret -> Prairie Dog

Chameleon -> Komodo Dragon -> Alligator

Mosquito -> Anteater -> Elephant

Anchovies -> Salmon -> Dolphin

Fox -> Wolf -> Bear

Cat -> Cheetah -> Mountain Lion -> Tiger

Worm -> Eel -> Snake -> Anaconda
- Mosquito
  
  I see what you did there.
- Pidgeon -> Parrot -> Turkey
  
  I think it would be Pigeon -> Parrot -> Pheasant -> Peacock, but then I don't know a lot about Pokemon.
- Duck-goose-swan imo...
Llama > Alpaca > Camel

That one is kinda dumb but it's all I can think of right now.
Monkey > Great Ape > Human
Leeches -> businessmen
- Landlords > Leeches
- Leechalot -> Landlawd -> Ceeyeeo
  
  Here's another one: Contractworka -> Fulltyme -> Letgoh
Kiwi > Emu > Cassowary
Duck --> Crocoduck --> Crocodile
- Remember when creationism was the dumbest thing on the internet?
  
  Wasn't that nice?
Goldfish > Swordfish > Megalodon
Beetle -> slightly bigger beetle -> slightly bigger beetle
- -> Paul Harrison -> John Lennon
Weasel to ferret to mink.
Chimp to Orang utan to gorilla
Waterbug -> Cricket -> Locust

Fun fact actually, crickets already evolve into locusts in the actual animal kingdom
- Fun fact actually, crickets already evolve into locusts
  
  No they don't. Are you thinking of grasshoppers, maybe? Although that's not exactly true either.
  
  Yes, sorry. But yeah, a grasshopper will, during a fertility shortage, go through a transformation and seek out a swarm of its brethren, forming what we call locusts.
  
  They say there used to be more locusts in the US and Mexico than there were in the Sahara, but that when the Gold Rush happened, so many people passed along where the grasshoppers lived that the necessary numbers needed to make locust swarms was reduced by the constant tramplings of passerbies.
Anole > Iguana > Alligator

Mouse > Rat > Opossum

Armadillo > Pangolin
Domestic housecat -> all big cats (like Eevee)
- Now I want to go do an ask pokemon on "if your house cat or dog were an eevee, what would it evolve to?"
- Cheetah > Puma > Jaguar > Panther > Tiger > Leopard > Leopard (snow variant) > Lion > Lion (mountain variant) > Maverick-
  
  Oh wait, that doesn't work that way at all.
  
  Lion (mountain variant)
  
  The thing you call a "mountain lion" over there in the US isn't a lion. It's a cougar.
Here's a freaky one : Jaguar > Cow > Giraffe
- Hmm… maybe Zebra > Okapi > Giraffe?
- "Why does this Cow know Slash?"
  
  "... why does this Giraffe know Milk Drink?!"
Fish > Shark > Whale
Pheasant evolves into Peacock or Turkey depending on evolution stone.
Fish would absolutely evolve into octopi.
- Cuttlefish -> Octopi
I don't know, but you know that big Agra is going to develop synthetic evolution stones to artificialy grow plants and livestock.
- Rare candy?
Pomeranian -> Shiba Inu -> Akita Inu (or maybe Malamute)
Single scoop ice cream to double scoop ice cream to triple scoop ice cream

...What do you mean that's already a pokemon evolution??
- Wait, for real?
  
  Edit: fucking hell it's true. And its name is fucking Vanillite, smh. And I also see a whip cream pokemon, too. Why everyone still buying that shit is beyond me.
Isopod -> pangolin -> armadillo
Frog -> Gecko -> Bird

Bonus - baby evolutionary form prior to frog: Axolotl

(Hyperlinks to specific species)
- Axolotl > salamander > giant Salamander
I think the biological evolution tree or whatever is the name would essentially showcase every evolution known so far 🤔🤔🤔
Mankey -> NPC
Mouse would evolve to cat, cat to dog

82 comments