12mo ago

Why isn't anyone farting in school?

I was homeschooled previously with a small group of other children and we fart in class all the time.

Now I'm in public school for high school and no one is farting. I was very sheltered and public school is like a whole new world for me, so I don't know what the norms are. I've been holding it in but my stomach hurts and it leaks out anyway.

I don't understand how there are so many more people in high school and yet zero farts...

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118 comments

You just need some practice farting quietly.
- The sound is much less important than the smell.
  
  if no one can hear you fart, no one knows who is responsible
  
  no one knows who is responsible
  That's not correct. We all know that first to smell it, dealt it.
  
  This is generally true except in the controversial case of "he who denied it supplied it" which set a new precedent for fart identification worldwide
  
  Such is the jurisprudence, yes.
  
  guilty dog barks first
  
  Yes they do. All body smells contain the personal note of the person. Someone with a skilled nose can identify you by any bodily odor.
  
  The people sitting next to me would know.
  
  well, you have to learn to employ different techniques like crop dusting
  https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crop+dusting
  
  "You smelled it you dealt it" kept everyone quite when I was in school so long as there is plausible deniability for the source.
  
  Don't start nutn, won't be nutn
  
  Sure thing Sloppy Diffuser, sure thing

118 comments