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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver @startrek.website

2y ago

Pray for their safety

73 comments

Escalators can never be temporarily out of order. They can only be temporarily stairs.
- I know it's a quote, but if the brakes failed on an escalator then yes it would be unusable even as stairs, however you wouldn't be stuck on it at that point, you'd be in a pile at the bottom.
  
  Or possibly crushed, which some would agree is worse.
- Or a temporary chainsaw from hell. That one clip of the one absolutely shitting the bed will haunt me.
  
  Link?
  
  The scene you're probably thinking of is from one of the Final Destination movies. Not sure I'd count those as the most solid of evidence.
- Sorry for the convenience!
  (R.I.P. Mitch)
- Mitch Hedberg
- But their stair form may go out of order under extreme conditions.
- Graceful degradation. We can all learn from its example.

My mind changed escalator to elevator because it didn't want to believe this

This joke was funnier when Mitch Hedberg made it with fewer words and zero pictures.

It's a fake meme.
That said, escalator break downs can kill people. They don't always just stop, they free wheel and smash everyone into a pile at the bottom.
- That's why they, just like elevators, need overspeed brakes. They are not required to have those in all places sadly.

Queue Mitch Hedberg…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqOkWWV6a_U
- *cue
  
  Ah, you're right. Silly me.
  
  Que?
  
  They have somewhat distinct uses today, but cue in this sense is an alternative spelling of queue:
  https://www.etymonline.com/word/cue

Broken escalators are no joke. My father starved to death because they couldn't fix the excalator in time.
- They should've used the excalibur.

Fine to do for getting off the thing if it stopped while you're on it but no, they don't just become stairs when they're stopped. Go look up escalator brake failures if you want to see some horrifying videos of how that can go wrong.
- Got a sepcific video in mind? all the videos coming up are failures while they're running.
  
  Saw it a few years back and don't care to look for it since that shit scares the shit out of me (used to be a ski lift operator, rollbacks become a phobia in that line of work) but it was a large amount of people marching up the thing like it was a set of stairs when it just gave out.
- Mitch hedberg is very disappointed in you
- If it hasn't moved in two hours, we can probably assume it's stopped.
  
  I was moreso saying for the sake of the next jackass that gets the bright idea of jumping an 'out of order' barrier, should one of them read it.

i bet if you let loose a couple of lions in there, one or two of them would discover some new escalator climbing skills real quick.. maybe just play lion noises through the intercom..
- Oh, I thought you were saying the lions would learn.
- I'm down for more wild lion security at malls.

A lot of malls in Asia have signs that say not to walk on the escalators. So yeah I guess if it breaks you're SOL if the people in front of you aren't rule breakers.

Acshually, "escalators" are a subset of "stairs". They would've known this had they paid attention during math class 🤓
- I used to know that. I still do, but I used to, too.
- If you integrate stairs you get escalator

73 comments