1y ago

I banned my kid from Roblox.... what next?

As we all know, Roblox is garbage tier gameplay structured around psychological cues to get children to fill an endless pit with fake money bought with real money.

So I banned my kid from it. He used it a little bit socially with a few friends of his. What online or local multiplayer games should I help him to replace it with? (He's 10, so please don't recommend Diablo 4 or anything else that has quite that much gore)

He and his friends have an Xbox Series X|S at home.

Edit: keep your judgemental shit out of here. His whole social group (5 kids he knows from school) got banned on the same day. Me and the other parents are trying to be nice and replace it with better quality games so it isn't just a punishment.

Edit2: Thanks guys. I got him Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge

292 comments

For everyone saying OP should let their kid play Roblox and just ban spending money... just no.
Roblox exploits child labor for profit and they have terrible scummy business practices. If you have even marginal ethical qualms about child labor and/or capitalistic exploitation of vulnerable people, you should be keeping yourself and your family away from Roblox. In your mind they should be in the same category as multilevel marketing, crypto scams and door-to-door religion peddlers.
- Roblox really is the lowest of the low.
  
  I actually think it's fair to call them child predators. They're exploiting kids for money instead of sexual gratification, but it's the same power dynamic. Child exploitation is their business model.
  
  My son just turned 6 and I was thinking of looking at the game (he really likes actual Lego, and his buddies are into Minecraft and Roblox), but another parent at a bday party a few weeks back asked if we played, and then warned my that I needed to keep a close eye on it, because the suggested games algo was pushing really sketch things to his daughter.
  So I started looking and decided the shopping aspect was something I didn’t want to expose him to yet. But these revelations are making me glad we haven’t yet used it and never will.
- Do you have written sources for these? I’d like to educate myself but I can’t stand YouTube videos.
- This guy's video could just as well be about foss development. Nearly every point has a direct parallel.
  
  Nobody dangles a carrot of earning money in front of potential FOSS developers. Nobody goes into FOSS thinking they're going to get a big payout.
  FOSS is not pay-to-play. There's no equivalent to Robux for FOSS developers.
  FOSS developers are consenting adults who volunteer their time for freely distributed software projects, not kids creating content for a video game company that charges them for access and then makes a profit from their work.
- This guy's argument would literally be that Mario maker is encouraging child labor because it doesn't pay kids who make levels in it.
  
  Roblox sells the idea that you can actually make money with it, it has its own economy with job hunting and salaries. Mario Maker is just a community game.
  
  That's an entirely different thing, because Mario Maker doesn't lure anyone with the bait of financial gain.
  
  Intent makes a big difference. The value of Roblox as a platform and as a business is based on the work done by children to develop for it, and it was set up that way on purpose. They created an incentive model to encourage it.
  Nintendo's value as a company is not based on kids creating Mario Maker levels, nor does Nintendo push kids to do so with the promise of earning money.
  
  it would be if the word literally meant figuratively or mario maker psychologically tortured children into spending cash for the privilege
  
  Considering the newest Mario game got a shitload of ideas from Mario maker levels, anyone who was good at mario making enough to be creative with the formula had their labor stolen as RnD for Wonder

Terraria, for something crafty-buildy with combat and very cartoony/2d blood and gore. 1-8 players.
Don't Starve Together, survival crafting in a hand-drawn Tim Burton-esque style. 2-6 players.
Awesomenauts, 3v3 fast paced competitive game in the style of Saturday morning cartoons. 3-6 players.
Deep Rock Galactic, coop shooter where you play space dwarves and shoot bugs while doing missions together. Gore may be a bit strong for your liking, but it's very stylized and only against bugs and robots. 1-4 players.
Risk of Rain 2, shooter where you try and escape a planet together with lots of different ways to play. 1-4 players.
Age of Empires 2, old school fast-paced medieval strategy game modernized with new graphics and such. 1-8 players.
Valheim, viking survival crafty buildy game in which you explore and conquer a dangerous world together. 1-10 players.
Cassette Beasts, technically not multi-player yet but they're adding it as a free update January. It's a Pokémon-esque game where you'll all be trainers in the same overworld together capturing beasts and taking down challenges together. 1-8 players when it comes out.
All of these games are rated T for teen, but it sounds more like you're opposed to M rated violence and language than T levels. They're all also insular in that this friend group doesn't need to involve other people to play together and can either play with or against each other or the computer.
- Some really solid recommendations here. Thanks a ton. I've heard of Deep Rock Galactic but it didn't pop into mind. And Risk of Rain 2 looks great.
  
  DRG does have a touch of profanity if you're concerned about that, btw.
  
  Deep Rock Galactic has mtx packs but they're cosmetic, and there's a large selection of cosmetics that you can unlock within the game itself.
  Risk of Rain 2 has one proper expansion, with another on its way, and no mtx.
- I think there is a mod to allow more than 4 players in a session for Risk of Rain 2
  
  The OP said that the friend group has Xboxes, and I assume that you can't mod the games. I may be wrong though, I haven't used an Xbox since the 360 and mostly game with the pc myself.

Self hosted Minecraft server for socializing. Mod the shit out of it
Factorio if you want your kid to have a severe addiction.
Red Alert 2 because I want the world to play it.
Ace Combat because it's hype and plays well with a controller.
Bloons tower defense
- I'm putting up a minecraft server for my kid and her friends, but I don't really play myself other than than. Few creative builds so I'm curious if you could please expand for me what exactly you mean when you say to mod the shit out of it. Is it enough to create rules or am I going to have to actively moderate their play?
  
  Mod as in install mods that modify the game. My favorite is the map and waypoint mod that adds basically Google maps to Minecraft.
  Or the Create mod.
  I'd also install the automatic world backup mod so if someone ever griefs the server you can just roll it back
- Factorio teaches programming?
  
  I’m a professional programmer and factorio scratches the same itch as designing systems.
  It teaches you about constraints, modular design, pub sub architectures, input output flow, etc.
  
  Not really. It will feel like programming if you already know how to program, but I don't think it will teach you programming anymore than any other problem solving activity.
  
  You can learn to create logic circuits in order to aid automation

Minecraft / Terraria, 100%. Both games have available co-op, so they can play with their friends, and allow quite a bit of creative expression. Terraria is made by some of the best indie devs ever, if it helps, having been getting free updates for years, even though the devs said they had finished the game years ago.
For a more socially open experience, I could also recommend Sea of Thieves. It's a game about manning a pirateship and collecting loot, where you can sometimes run into real people on their own adventures (or get your ship sunk by them, after all, they're also pirates). There is co-op, too. A cash shop is available, but all items are strictly cosmetic, with many items available through gameplay alone.
- Yeah I love Terraria. I'll see if I can get his friends interested in it too. Heck I'll buy them all copies for xmas.
  
  Terraria for the win, way more fun than Minecraft with more motivation for exploration and of course the combat.
  I wonder if they still do that "friends pack" deal where you get 4 licenses for not much more than 1?

You could try Dungeons and dragons. It could be fun for his friend group.
- I wish someone had taught my friends and me how to play D&D when I was 10, but my parents were part of the "satanic panic" generation, and had zero interest in anything to do with fantasy or improv. Once you get out of highschool, finding a night that everyone can meet up for D&D gets exponentially harder, let alone finding someone who wants to put in the time to DM.
  
  This!
  My friend group would have thrived from something like that.
  But our parents were always afraid of what we’d get up to in this very non-conceptual way, so instead we stayed close to home. And drank.
- DnD is fantastic. I was planning to buy some campaign materials for xmas. Might as well get that started!
  
  Oh yeah, DnD is a great idea, and if they aren't into dragons (but who isn't) there's all kinds of variations of rpg games. Mutant Year Zero, Vaesen, Alien, Pathfinder, Starfinder, etc. The list goes on and on. And since you have mentioned you have a pc, you can use a virtual tabletop like Fantasy Grounds, for them to play where you don't have to get them all together in the same room. I play a few different games each week with people I have only met in game. You could buy the FG Ultimate license for one pc, whomever is going to be the DM, and all the other kids could connect with the free beta license, and only the DM needs to own the books. Everyone else can just get on and read the manuals, or play the game with no expense.
  
  Dnd (and tabletop gaming in general) is really fun, but I can foresee problems when you try to replace the electronic gambling skinner box of Roblox with a game where the core features are math and imagination.

I banned my kid from Roblox.... what next?
I would just talk to your kid and listen to his feelings and wants. What does he enjoy about Roblox? Can he find that enjoyment with some other games? Does he understand that its not a punishment, e.g. it's not anything that he did and that you aren't blaming him? Sure, you can suggest a few alternatives and they might take and be fun, but you'll need to be attuned to his feelings around what he might see as a punishment for something that he did so that he doesn't internalize it and hurt the relationship you have with him.
- yeah this should be the immediate next step. The kid shouldn't feel punished. It shouldn't be a "you're not allowed because I said so." Kids can be smart and might be able to understand why Roblox is exploitative.
  At least this is a better reason to take a way a kid's video game. My parents banned me from certain games/movies because they had positive depictions of black people.
- This is amazing advice! Saving it for when I have a kid.

Minecraft?
- That's a good one! I'm kind of hoping to give him a copy of something as a gift - but he's already got minecraft. I want him to have options.
  
  Terraria?
  
  A Minecraft realm is also a good idea, it comes with minigames maps
  
  FTB modpacks?

Minecraft seems like the obvious choice for kids who liked Roblox. Terraria is another. If they can only play on a server that one of them hosts, then no need to worry about outside users.
Good on you and the other parents for getting that shit out of there, kids don't need addiction machines trying to pressure them into spending money.

yeah java minecraft (NOT BEDROCK) is great, you can mod the shit out of it too on a pc.
- You can get them both with the one license now, so you don't have to pick. I like having the 2 options available and I don't let my kids buy anything on the bedrock one where they have the Minecoin BS to buy stuff. They only have real money (paper) and no digital-compatible methods to pay for anything.
  But the mods on Java edition are excellent, and the fact that it runs on any computer OS is a big plus. I can't recommend anything more than Minecraft for a kids' game.
  
  I never understood the "Minecraft Bedrock was made so it could run everywhere" argument. Like, wasn't Java's moto "Write once, run everywhere"? Why settle for a garbage version of the original, when the original can run on every computational device made within the last decade?
  
  How does this work? I have a Minecraft Bedrock license for my Playstation, can I somehow get a Minecraft Java license from this too?

Minecraft Java. Minecraft bedrock is full of microtransactions, and we both dislike those.
- Minecraft Java isn't available on Xbox, is it?
  
  Idk, on Android you can run Pojav Launcher, but I don't really know much about x boxes. Probably a mistake to buy such a closed ecosystem in the first place, from the little I have heard.
  
  No but pc is now available on tv. The more people use it, the faster these monetization machines called this decades consoles can wither and die.

Given that you've got some great answers already, there seems to be very few guides on how to deal with this sort of shit as a parent.
Gaming today is very different to what we grew up with, particularly microtransactions, and I think a lot of people would be surprised at how many kids spend insane amounts of money on things like FUT packs, VBucks, etc. Much of this is down to peer pressure, so saying shit like "my kid will never pay money on microtransactions" is wishful thinking.
- Kids also have different attitudes on what constitutes value to them. So while parents see robux as total ripoff, kids don’t have the experience of playing a game and receiving the whole thing and not being expected to pay real money to skip the hard parts.
  Kids aren’t the only ones who waste their money on frivolous gaming transactions though. Millions of adults by battlepasses for games or we wouldn’t have that crap in games either.
- Yeah that's why I let my kid do specific chores to earn money for mtx. So he has his dripfeed to support whatever costumes or other mtx he sees - but not enough to get truly addicted. Plus I have been very forward with him that the money he spends on mtx is literally worthless the moment he buys it - so I give him normal allowance at a higher rate than his small mtx earnings. My goal is to balance it out so he can have non-standard skins and not feel made fun of for it, but also not grow psychologically dependent on them like some kids.

Minecraft is pretty good for this kind of stuff, especially Java Edition (has mods, and loooooads of servers, some of which also use mods to drastically alter the gameplay. You can also host your own, free of charge).
- Yeah I prefer the java version, myself. But my kid doesn't have a pc just yet - he's limited to consoles and ipad for now.
  
  If you want to get them something low level cheap, AMD small form factor pcs with integrated Radeon can be had for cheap (easily under $200 if you are patient). One of my kid plays on one of these and with a few performance mods on minecraft does 30fps just fine.

minecraft, rocket league
- yeah just make sure text chat is disabled in rocket league
  (speaking from experience)
  
  there’s something about those 1v1s that makes people go absolutely nuclear :’)

Grounded is the game I wish I had when I was 10. Basically "Honey I shrunk the kids" as a multiplayer survival-builder.
- This one. Completely forgot about it in my other post. Only 4 player though but TONS of fun. My gaggle of girls had tons of fun with this one.

My oldest kid (6yo) is currently having fun with Goat Simulator ¯(ツ)/¯ and yes, I bought the expansions.
He doesn't play online yet, but I have Minecraft on the PS4 so that may be an option later on.
Other options I can think of that would be appropriate and multiplayer
Rocket League
Fall Guys
Party Animals
Portal 2
Astroneer
Human Fall Flat

Try Minetest - https://www.minetest.net/
It's a FOSS voxel engine, so they can play multiplayer with their friends for free. MineClone2 is a Minecraft clone on Minetest, so even if their friends don't have Minecraft, they can still play with friends.
For paid games, consider indie games, as they're less likely to be micro-transaction bullshit. Raft, Stardew Valley, Two Point Hospital are good options. Not so much multiplayer, but Stardew supports it. Multiplayer wise, maybe Among Us if the parents are comfortable with that.

I haven't seen Splatoon being recommended here, it's a ton of fun and has no microtransactions. You can but your kid a Switch for cheap nowadays.
- Seconding splatoon. Very kid and adult friendly, and basically no micro transactions (unless you count amiibo). No other game has kept my attention like it has for the last year
- Categorically disagree. I am a grown arse adult. Splatoon 3 tilts me like no other game, due to some very deliberate FOMO game design decisions and a very poor matchmaking algorithm. Whilst there's no real money store in the game, it has a lot of other problems that make it just as bad as Roblox imo
  
  Can you elaborate a bit? I played Splatoon 2 until Nintendo started charging for the online but, as far as I know, Splatoon 3 only has a free battlepass.
  Am I missing anything?

fill an endless pit with fake money bought with real money.
Honest question, if the money is the issue, then why not let him play the free stuff and not spend money on it?
- I'm crumudgeony enough to remember when buying a game was buying a game. I disliked it when mobile games slowly changed into monitization via microtransactions. Heck, I remember buying games for full price and then they got changed to ftp overnight with mtx. That kind of stuff drove me nuts and I am firmly anti-mtx. That said, I let my kid earn money he can use on mtx for cosmetics and stuff on Fortnite. But it is a dedicated pool of money for mtx, his actual money kept separate so he can buy ice cream or save for bigger purchases without worry. Roblox on the other hand, is a company that exploits children for their labor to create the games and it hires psychologists to ensure kids dump as much money into it as possible all while having no moderation. Roblox is awful. Microtransactions in children's games are harmful and exploitive. I'm letting my kid get a drip feed so he can get the little benefit from having non-stock costumes in fortnite while also having the learning experience that in games with mtx, you can never have enough - without him becoming a whale.
  
  I've recently banned my kid from playing it too. I had only just unlocked it for the first time. I had previously blocked it because it was, IMHO, terrible. As a professional gamedev I find it offensively bad. But I relented, because lots of his friends were playing it. However, and this may be the experiences he was playing, it seems to be almost exclusively training kids up for gambling. Pretty much everything is dopamine based rewards. It's like a casino. It's worst than I ever imagined. I'm this close to banning online play in Minecraft because he is similarly gravitating to the same sort of experiences. In our case it's not about money, he hasn't spent a cent on these things. But the content is very problematic, I have concerns that it is encouraging developing minds that gambling is the norm.
  
  It's also just an extremely dangerous platform. They have a stock market, game mode development with children employing children (clearly neither one understands employment laws), and unsurprisingly a ton of pedophiles
- why let your child play shit games
  why not teach your child what good gaming can be
  why just not care what your child spends his time doing
  good grief

Some games you could consider -
Krunker
Minecraft java edition
Stardew valley
Terraria
Starbound
Dorfromantik
Cities skyline
Goat simulator
- Couple of issues with this list:
  OP said their son in his friends use Xbox Series X/S, so that effectively removes Krunker and Minecraft Java Edition. That said, I believe Minecraft Bedrock Edition is available for XSX.
  Stardew Valley is great, but the son's social group has 5 people. Stardew Valley only supports up to 4.
  Cities Skylines does not have multiplayer.
  Can't speak for Dorfromantik, because I haven't played it, but the rest seem like great choices.
  
  Easy solution for Stardew Valley. Unfriend one.
  Joke aside, Factorio multiplayer would be nice to teach some logical thinking, but it's only on PC

Buy him a cheap PC and introduce Factorio.
It would teach them logical thinking and teamwork. Could be a nice platform for programming also.
- I might as well just hold the crackpipe for him and light it
  
  Good supporting dad 😁, lol. Now pass the pipe.
- Factorio is a great idea if you’re ok with school going to sh*t. I called factorio the „time machine“ since it could zap 12 hrs in one second. Cant remember any other game that I played till dawn in the last 20 yrs.
  
  Cheap PC it is! Send him to Distrowatch.com and let him pick a distro to install.
- No no the kid has school to finish. Ive already given up on sleep to work in the factorio.

Besides the obvious Minecraft recommendation, maybe Terraria, Satisfactory, and if you're willing to allow it, something like Smite would be another good option for him to play with his friends.

Oh, I'm sure we're all great parents here. I applaud you for admitting a mistake and having the humility to ask for advice, both excellent parenting skills in my opinion.
I believe the answer is always culture. Once better videogames are discovered it's likely that they will hardly go back to the bad ones (so that the problem of prohibitionism - which is only a temporary solution - can be solved).

Maybe it would be cool to ask which games they used to play on Roblox and we could suggest alternatives to those too!
If they are into farming games I'd recommend Stardew Valley, in addition to other games already recommended.
Edit: Many games I wanted to recommend are PC only. 🥲
Edit2: I just saw someone else's post about the social circle being of 5 which makes Stardew Valley more difficult, oof

He could play minecraft with his friends on a personal server. I think making servers is easy on Minecraft Bedrock (The minecraft version available on Xbox)
- Minecraft is definitely fun. I have a whole lab setup for my kids and neighbors to play minecraft and they are using Java version with curse forge so they can make endless modpacks. I think you mentioned xbox, so bedrock is definitely an option as well, but it won't have the free flexibility that Java has.
  I personally don't think that a little gore is the end of the world, especially if you play with them. My daughter picked up D3 when she was probably 9, but I played with her and the gore just wasn't a focus. Every kid is different though and bunch of boys probably not gonna gloss over that.
  One you might consider is Fallout 76. It got a bad rap at launch, but it's a great game and surprisingly has one of the most wholesome gaming communities ever (probably because most of the trolls gave up early on the game when pvp was mostly removed). There are options to turn down blood as well if that's a concern.

One pick that I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned yet is Overcooked 2. No profanity or anything. The only disadvantage is that the game is rather short.
- Overcooked may not have profanity but it certainly cultivates it
  
  HAHAHA
- There is now a third release containing part 1 and 2 and I think a few of the dlcs
  
  Good call out!

Gary's mod, Minecraft
- gmod is great. Another game with several other games inside.
- Videos I look at seem rather violent with a lot of guns. Are these included by default or addons? My son's 6 and just getting into minecraft but I don't want to turn it into an FPS for him.
  
  Garry's Mod includes various games/game modes but the most popular one is Trouble In Terrorist Town, where you have to shoot each other. I wouldn't recommend it for a 6 year old, in a few years it will fit better.

Fall Guys, Among Us, Totally Reliable Delivery Service. These games are full of shenanigans 10 year olds love.
- Totally Reliable Delivery Service
  Thanks for that one. I hadn't seen it yet. I bet they'd have fun with it.
  
  Also Goat Simulator.
- Please don’t make people play fall guys anymore. Epic has run that thing into the ground by laying off most of their creative team and basically deleting levels and over-monetizing cosmetics

No Man's Sky is fantastic now.

Microtransactions aside, if you're trying to protect your kids from creeps online you're gonna have to ban every platform that supports interactions with strangers. This includes several other games you've mentioned in the comments including Minecraft.
Personally, instead of banning it I just play it with my kids on a regular basis. There's plenty of actually decent games on Roblox and it enables game ideas that otherwise wouldn't see the light of day. My favourite is the Ikea survival game.
- The problem with Roblox is that they themselves are the creeps exploiting kids

I play Fortnite with my kid and some friends. We've configured comms so he can only chat with approved friends from RL.
Fortnite has a reputation for getting kids to buy cosmetics, but it isn't justified. We've been playing for a year or so and my guy hasn't asked to buy anything.
It's very approachable, so your kid may be able to convince his friends to play too.
- Yeah that's already a staple

If shooters, beer visuals, and light swearing (think damn, shit, the voicelines are pretty rare and can be disabled with mods) are alright for your kid, check out deep rock galactic. its on steam as well as xbox, and is a 1-4 player coop mining and shooting game where you collect minerals and shoot the ant looking bugs trying to eat you. its incredibly fun and ive sunk over 2500 hours into it without feeling for even a second that any of it was predatory.
- Yeah that's 100% going to be gifted to him and his social group for xmas due to the recommendations in this thread
- ROCK AND STONE!
- Moreover, the community is absolutely fantastic. Literally just a bunch of half-drunk space dwarves having a good time.

Pokemon? Despite many of its flaws, it encourages honest trading amongst friends, it is a classic JRPG, and has no microtransaction. You can play it on emulator if you don't have a switch
- OP has an Xbox, configuring emulators on that isn't very fun.

Space engineers. Great game for cooperation amd if they work well enough they can get a working spaceship going together and explore the universe.
- Who the hell would downvote this suggestion??? Space Engineers is a great game.
  
  Is it on xbox?

Sea of thieves is great, but only plays 4 at any given time. It also has alcohol and some T rated violence, but it depends on what your boundaries are for the kids.
- Hello, fellow pirate! I would argue nobody could actually take the violence on Sea of Thieves as being T-rated - it's a bunch of goofy, heavily deformed people fighting with swords that don't draw blood.
  
  This is a good suggestion. I like this game as well. There's a lot of customization that can be done without paying extra for it, but I am an old fart and don't care to have all that crap in my game. Give everyone the same pair of pants and lets go. Time to go change the onion on my belt.

It would be helpful to understand what types of games the kid was playing in the first place to suggest alternatives. I ripped this answer from quora on how to see which games within roblox your child was playing
Game History: Roblox used to have a "Game History" feature that allowed users to view a list of recently played games. This feature showed the last few games you played, but it was limited in terms of historical data. It's worth checking if this feature is still available in your account settings.
Roblox Account Activity: You can check your Roblox account's activity feed, which may show some information about recent game interactions and achievements. However, this feed typically doesn't display a comprehensive game history.
Roblox API: Some third-party websites and tools may offer services that attempt to retrieve and display more extensive game history data by accessing Roblox's API. Be cautious when using third-party services and make sure they are reputable and secure.
I went looking for any kind of account tracker and to no one's surprise they are mostly about account value from items, not so much about worlds/experiences they have been on.
Most of the responses I've seen on here are just suggesting games which may or may not be to your kids looking purely based on those games being generally accepted as good.

Was he interested in developing games in Roblox or just playing them? If he was interested in development, consider showing to him Godot. Do a simple tutorial together, maybe a multiplayer that he can send and show off to his friends.
- Something like scratch is probably a much easier introduction.

No Man's Sky?
- We actually tried it on gamepass and my son was only kind of interested. Thanks for the recommendation though

My brother and I started playing Grounded together as a way to just chill and catch up throughout the week. We were shocked with how much content was actually in the game. It’s like Valheim mixed with Honey I Shrunk The Kids, 4 player online coop, base building, survival. It has a storyline so there’s always a sense of direction and it syncs the world with everyone regardless of who plays so it’s easy to just come and go. I could definitely see a group of 10 year olds getting sucked into this.
- Oh that looks really good. Thanks for the recommendation.

give him an apple 2 and make him learn how to use a command line
- Not until after he can patch RCT1's assembly
  
  Pshtt, not until he dies of dysentery once or twice.

Minecraft
- Minecraft is turning to shit, do mine clone 2 instead, or whatever Minecraft alternative strikes your fancy. Microsoft is bleeding that brand dry.
  
  Oh that's lame. I haven't played it since before the nether was released

What might be a good idea is to try Game Pass for a few months and see what they settle on. Then for Birthdays or Christmas, get them the games they played the most. Not sure how parental controls are like on it, but I hope they exists.
That being said, outside of Nintendo, there aren't many Online games which don't demand their users to pay for cosmetics with fake in game currency. See CTR Nitro Fuelled, Fortnight, Call of Duty, Overwatch and Minecraft skins.
With that said if changing your system isn't an option, Minecraft Bedrock Edition the only game I am familiar with. There is a skin store, but you can't earn in game currency from just playing (from my knowledge). So if they don't have access to the credit card, they won't be tempted, plus the base game has enough options that you can customize your character well enough.
If you can get a switch (and friends have one already), Splatoon 2/3, Mario Kart 8, and Animal Crossing are all friendly non-microtransaction laden games.
- Has Nintendo made their online system any less crappy lately? Do they have voice chat or is it still "Use discord"? I say this as a lifetime player of Nintendo games. In the meantime, I've got like 3 years of Game Pass because I did the xbox live upgrade to get it for cheap.
  
  As a diehard Nintendo fan, not really
  
  Technically you can voice chat with friends over ~~discord~~ the Nintendo Switch online app.
  But yeah I use anything that isn't their service for voice chat.

I recommend Astroneer - a solo / multiplayer survival game about collecting resources, refining stuff and building up bases on several planets. It's hecking fun in multiplayer and it doesn't have combat. There's a ton of things to do and if the kids are good at communicating with each other they can quickly conquer the game. The only microtransactiony stuff it has is cosmetics (but it's not being pushed upon you in any way), but you can unlock some of these through progression as well.

The answer is whatever his friends are playing.
- Coincidentally they got banned from Roblox at the same time! One of them dumped $50 in an afternoon on the game then had the audacity to ask for more money. So his whole social circle got booted from that cesspit on the same day. Me and their parents are trying to find good substitutes.
  
  This is some good context. I'm not too familiar with roblox but I understand it's more of a platform than a single game. How are they accessing microtransactions? If that can't be prevented than that's a bigger problem.
  
  That kid is now known as the kid who got Roblox banned among their group of friends, not a nice thing to known for. This will be seen as a punishment by them regardless of how you frame it especially once the other kids at their school become aware of it.
  Ouch. Good luck navigating this one as your kids get older.
- I'm not so sure about that. My kids had other kids in their class playing Fortnite - in second grade!
  And if my kid were 10 and all his friends were playing Diablo IV or GTA my answer would be a steadfast no.

Games my kids and I enjoy on Steam:
(Not Xbox sorry)
Alba (such a cute story)
FPS Chess
Dinkum
Webbd
Tinykin
Spiritfarer
Wobbly Life
LEGO adaptations of series
Among Us (canned chat only)

I dunno if you want him playing a true mmo at that age, but old school RuneScape is currently as popular as ever. Specifically old school though, RS3 has the same sort of problems with micro transactions etc.

Minecraft
- everybody should play

Games my kids enjoy without paying one cent...
All the games they play
We spend zero dollars on video games and yet our kids seem to play a lot of them, my wife and I don't really play. They even had a friend give them an Xbox and there are computers and tablets and phones in our house. Games don't have to be a money pit.

Deep rock galactic

Just let them play minecraft instead. Minecraft dungeons could be good but it's only 4 people at the same time tho.

Factorio provided you want a group of kids that you never see again that can all program their own PLC devices

The Finals is fun and free. Apex Legends is cool too. A lot of shooting but no gore at all.
- The finals is also only voice chat and its opt in from the get go, so really good for avoiding toxic behavior from randos

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