1y ago

What groups you are unwillingly associated with? How you handle it?

I ll start : I have been following a pretty known tech/Linux journalist, and always found he is a fun dude to listen to, with interesting tech takes

The fact that he is also very openly "american conservative" (aka, religious & weapon nut, anti abortion, etc) annoys me, but i keep those things separate. And he does keep it separate too (politics channel vs tech channel), which is a great decision.

112 comments

I'm unwillingly associated with mankind.
- gtfo, you filthy human!
- Not me. I divorced humanity many years ago.

I own a gun and I strongly think that you SHOULD be able to own one IF you meet the qualifications. But I think those qualifications should be more strict and the penalty for being unsafe with your guns should be to lose them. Forever.
Violent crimes in the past including domestic? Say bye bye to your guns. Can't pass a background check? No exceptions.
Guns should be accessible to those who can pass strict check and removed permanently for behavior that is indicative of a potential problems.
But because I support the owning of guns I'm assumed to be one of .... them. Ugh. Yucks.
I handle it by showing my disgust and trying to explain that just because I support something doesn't mean that I fall in on a survey.
The entire gun "culture" is just toxic as fuck. To the point that if we ever do lose the right it will be their unwillingness to bend that causes it.
- I wish the Democrats in the US were less willfully ignorant about firearms so they'd pass less stupid and ineffectual legislation out of fear and/or pandering.
  Every time California passes an "assault weapons ban" that targets a specific ergonomic feature (pistol grips, removable magazines, what the hell ever they're focusing on now) and gun manufacturers find a work around before the bill even comes into effect, I just roll my eyes.
  At this point I'm forced to assume it's purely performative.
  
  Case in point. Great video of all the work the manufacturer made to keep the gun compliant. Its quite funny when you look at it.
  https://youtu.be/CcNS4JdprWc?si=1_MiJQ-DjyxUmLze
  
  I too wish they could pass real gun control legislation that would result in less weapons on the streets and in people's homes.
  Unfortunately, all we can ever get passed are bs laws that gun nuts won't bother to fight against, considering the massive amounts of political spending on "single-issue" voters that care more about being able to shoot their neighbors than they care about living under a democratic-elected government.
  I mean, who needs functioning institutions when you have a fuckin gun?
  
  Can't they just ban auto/semi-auto? Or if those aren't strict categories, define them, eg. "cannot shoot more than x bullets / second"? That one would likely be too broad but you get the idea.
- This is apparently a thing : https://socialistra.org/
- Sensible points you made!

The Russians. I'm against war, not living in Russia, working and paying taxes elsewhere. It was hard to make peace with myself, as you have to rip the vision of your country into two pieces - the first is the culture, places where you lived, your friends. The second is an insane killing machine called "the state". Have to learn not to associate yourself with that second half.
The support from many people, from here and from other countries, including a couple of Ukrainian friends (takes time to prove that you're "normal"), really helped.
Sorry for everything, I hope the old man will die soon.
- Я сам русский и таже история. Путен сдохнет и мы будем ссать на его могилу! Слава Героям 🇺🇦
  
  Потоп устроим)

I'm a large, unpleasant looking man living in a red state who has a pickup truck, and a harley. I'm married to a methodist lay speaker. I have a few firearms.
So naturally I must be the biggest trump supporting, red-hat wearing, religious conservative twatwaffle in existence, there is no other option.
As a result, the actual redhat cockwombles I work with think I'm going to be OK with their racist comments, and are shocked when I'm not. The thing that helps me with these guys is the fact that they are having to work from prints that have my initials on them so they can whine about the LiBuRl all they want, and I'll still be helping them get their jobs done.
The traits they are assuming make me One of Them™ are just incidental things. I have a battered old truck because my wife and I have either a large garden or a small farm, depending on how you look at it. A Honda Civic won't carry the stuff I need. (Neither will a van) I have a harley because the local motorcycle dealers are pretty terrible tp deal with, but the harley dealer is nice, helpful, and act like they want to sell a bike. I'm large and unpleasant because of genetics. And I have firearms because for most of my adult life I have lived somewhere that has an hour's response time for law enforcement, and I've had to defend myself in the past. None of these things made me hate any particular group of people.
- "Methodist lay speaker"?
- How big is your garden/farm?
  
  Pretty big. Or pretty small, depends on how you look at it. /s

I'm frequently accused of being a white person by people who are looking directly at me and seeing my tan skin and my shoulder blade length dark brown hair.
And I don't really know what to say. Like, thank you for letting me enjoy the white privilege card, but it doesn't really do me any favors because in most areas the native American privilege card outweighs the white privilege card.
On the other hand, I am occasionally accused of being a Mexican even though I'm 6 ft 1 and speak very fluent English without a identifiable accent.
And old people have handed me things written in Spanish and asked me to translate it for them because it's my native language and it's fucking not, but then, since I can usually figure out what written Spanish means I still tell them the answer but I feel weird about it and I don't want to be made to feel that way.
- without an identifiable accent
  so... like Borat?
  
  Yez, iz very nice
- Went to my regular Mexican place the other day and the waiter starts rattling off Spanish to my wife. My wife is Pilipino.
  She didn't know what was going on and replied with the handful of words she knows. I was LMAO internally.
  
  I find the simarities between the Phillipines and Mexico pretty interesting. I guess being fucked by the Spaniards will do that to cultures.
- I also get accused of it and my skin is tan. I was born in a Latin American country, I can speak Spanish, I can cook Hispanic dishes. Idk what to tell you.
- Im like 94% percent mexican, but im 5’10” and speak fluent english with arguably the most neutral english accent, and speak next to no spanish (just a bit i learned in highschool)
  People always assuming i speak spanish…
- outweighs the white privilege card
  What benefit outweighs never having to think about race or be impacted by it?
  
  Strange how you're getting downvoted and mocked, but nobody seems to have an answer. I too am rather curious where in the actual fuck being considered native-American outweighs white privilege! On a reservation?
   
  (I'm not sure if I have to clarify, as this isn't Reddit, but here goes: I do NOT agree with the current state of race relations and abhor the fact that "being white" is considered the best.)
  
  Fucking racesplaining, lol.

I'm very much into guns, have 35-45 or so, depending on your definition of "gun". I particularly like buying old crappy ones and fixing them up. They aren't "safe queens" either, I shoot every one of them at times, and shoot almost every weekend at my camp in the swamp.
I am liberal in about every other aspect and given the GOP's behavior since Obama took office, I'm voting straight ticket D till the day I die. I loathe being lumped in with the right-wingers and their attitudes.
- Hello fellow liberal gun owner! It's good to see more of us out here. It fucking annoys me to no end whenever we get lumped together with that nonsense.

I'm a man, which means I am part of "men."
Lots of men are predatory, objectify women and scoff at feminism. Being a man, people just inherently assume I'm like that too.
I deal with it by engaging only with people who demonstrate the ability to listen and withhold judgment.
- That is as sexist as it gets from whatever dumb people think about literally 50% of the world's population as a monolith
  
  He said ‘lots of men’ not all.
- Indeed. Oftentimes they kinda resolve their cognitive dissonance by saying 'Ah, you got a fiance, you have to say that wink'. As if there is no other logical explanation.

I'm unwillingly associated with the U.S. Democratic Party only because I'm uncompromising in my beliefs of equality and antifascism, but disagree with almost other policy of theirs^1
This doesn't mean I agree with the only other major US party.
- I'm not a Democrat. I'm anti-Republican. As soon as there's another actually viable option, or ranked choice voting, the Dems will never see me again.
  
  This is the correct answer. Pretending there are more than two choices doesn't stop Roe from being abolished. You have to play the hand your dealt, etc.
  
  If it's ranked choice, won't Democrats be lower on your list?

None. I have self-respect. For example. My own MAGA worshipping Trump-humping father demanded that I apologize for telling him that America sucks (in regards to healthcare). I was told to either apologize or to never talk again.
I said we’d never talk again. And we haven’t.

Transmeds. Trans folk who gatekeep other trans folk, and think they can say who is "really trans" and who isn't.
- I do think it would be helpful to have more clarity on the definitions of terms for different states of transitioning/non-transitioning but unfortunately that's outweighed by the privacy concerns and the infighting and effort it would cause
  
  Why? What language are we lacking that would help if added, that wouldn't just lead to more gatekeeping?
  We already have the language to talk about various elements of social and medical transition.

I've been called a tanky, neolib, fascist, radfem, misogynist, racist, "woke", republican, Democrat, religious nutjob, and militant athiest over my time on Reddit and I wouldn't really agree with any of those descriptors lol. People just assume that if you have an even remotely nuanced opinion on a topic then you must belong to the "other side". I don't really care most of the time. I know what I believe and I don't let it be defined by tribalism.
- Haha as well. I've been called chauvinist, fascist and other words associated with the super far right, even though I'm center left on the compass. It's impressive how utterly extinct nuance is in social media and traditional news.
- I feel for you here. I think of myself as left of center but it is funny how much one side or the other treats the center like the hardest core of the other end. Its funny because I way back when I had started at a catholic college where I seemed waaayyy left but then transfered to the state school where I seemed centerist or at best kinda left and if you compared me to the school population then right of center. I did find the liberal state school seemed to have more of self awareness that the environment was skewed left whereas the catholic institution viewed itself as more center.
- That’s a wide spectrum of associations. Have you ever considered you may be bad at articulating your views?
  
  More like interactions would play out thusly:
  Them: All X is Y
  Me: hmm, it may not be helpful to paint with such a broad brush. Sometimes X isn't Y. (Gives example)
  Them: wow, sounds like something a (insert opposing tribe here) would say.
  Basically, this
- I bet you even try to “just ask questions” too… disgusting.

Neckbeards, because I fit some of the stereotypes.
I'm interested in roleplaying and videogames, so people assume I'm one of those gatekeeping basement dwellers that mock "girl gamers" and play WoW and weird hentai games 23 hours a day. Honestly, I couldn't care less about what other players have in their pants or which games they like as long as everyone is having fun.
I own two swords, so people assume I'm one of those "leave the multibillion dollar company alone" fedora-wearing m'lady incels who pose with their katanas for sh*tty profile pics and think they look like ninjas or something. The thing is, me and two buddies did show fights for medieval faires for a couple of years, so the weapons aren't just decoration / dumb tokens to make myself feel cool. Granted, the "fights" were more or less scripted, but it still had to look convincing enough to entertain the masses.
It's especially annoying when actual neckbeards think I'm "one of them" and are then surprised that I don't share any of their cringey, prejudice-laden, condescending world views.
- I have questions about terminology. Things I never understood. I mean no offense, just curious.
  "Neckbeard". Hair naturally grows on the neck. So we are okay with beards, but if you don't shave the neck, you're judged negatively? Not just for your appearance, but for your moral character? I don't understand. Isn't this like judging a woman for not shaving her armpits, or judging a man for not being circumcised? What difference does it make if a man has an unshaven beard? And why in the world would you use a natural thing as an insult?
  "Incel". I think this means "involuntary celibate", right? Someone who isn't good at socializing and hasn't been able to get someone to have sex with them. Why in the world would you judge someone based off this? Doesn't it seem needlessly cruel and illogical? There could be any number of reasons why a person has never had sex. They might not all be bad. But now we're trying to build a culture where you're a loser if you haven't had sex? I don't understand. I don't understand how liberals have these weird derogatory categories to put people in.
  I can understand being opposed to bad belief systems. I feel pretty strongly about that myself. But it seems like you need to attack the beliefs themselves if you want to get anywhere.
  
  Assuming you're asking in good faith from curiosity...
  “Neckbeard”. Hair naturally grows on the neck. So we are okay with beards, but if you don’t shave the neck, you’re judged negatively?
  The "neck beard" as a facial hair style is associated with hair only on the neck, not as part of a full beard. It's often associated with a cluelessness about personal hygiene or style, because it's not something that actually looks good on anyone. Because of this, it's usually a product of ignorance, neglect or depression. The stereotype includes a certain lack of awareness of personal grooming.
  “Incel”. I think this means “involuntary celibate”, right?
  Correct
  Why in the world would you judge someone based off this?
  Normally you wouldn't, in fact the originator of the term intended it to be neutral and without judgement, however the term has morphed. It's been adopted by a subset of extremely toxic individuals online, who blame others (society, more successful men, but especially women) for their romantic inexperience. The spaces they inhabit online are full of a nearly cult-like mentality, and the worst of them support such abhorrent ideas as human trafficking, sexual slavery and rape as natural and justified.
  I don’t understand how liberals have these weird derogatory categories to put people in.
  No idea where you got the impression this was a "liberal" thing. That seems like a very strange assumption to make. It's a very widely known internet subculture/stereotype that's been around for at least 20 years and has been generally apolitical. The only line you could draw between the stereotype and politics would be perhaps the rampant misogyny, in which case if that makes you immediately think only liberals could be against that maybe you should do some self reflection about the "side" you're on.

I watch a ton of anime, and I hate weebs so damn much

am asked if i was russian bot once
- Well, are you?!?
  
  maybe
  maybe not
- блять
- You guys were asked? I was asserted!
  
  ^🤖🇷🇺
  Nice username btw.
- Were you pushing Russian talking points? If so, what’s the difference?
  
  no
  am ukraine supporter [..]

I find myself agreeing with the libertarian socialist school of thought, which means in debates I get accused of a lot of opinions I don't agree with, because I disagree with things using socialist language or libertarian points.

US political parties.
Because I live in and enjoy living in Chicago, am socially liberal, an ardent feminist, an aspiring antiracist, people assume I'm a Democrat. Honestly, even the first alone is usually enough to trigger this assumption.
Because I'm politically conservative, respect religious freedom, respect the second amendment, and oppose stacking the Supreme Court, people assume I'm a Republican; even though the GOP hasn't respected religious freedom or been politically conservative in general in decades.
And when I tell people that I'm not registered with a party, won't vote along party lines, and won't vote the lesser evil, I'm assumed to be politically inactive, apathetic, or ignorant. Whereas I'm very active, always vote, usually campaign for favored candidates and against corrupt incumbents.
The "team sport" mentality of FPTP political systems is absolutely terrible, honestly.
- Im curious what you are politically conservative on? I don't see religious freedom as being conservative nowadays. Like respecting tst stuff. maybe the second amendment but like bernie is pretty good with that. honestly the supreme court stacking I only hear from an extreme side. EDITED - see if Im fast enough to sneak this in. How the heck does one even register for a party in chicago? I mean im not going to but is that even a thing?
  
  Illinois has open primaries and you don't need to register a party when you register to vote; but you can still register with the parties themselves. I also grew up in South Dakota, which has closed primaries, and you do fill out an party (or not) when you register to vote there, or at least when I turned 18 you did.
  I'm conservative in the sense of opposing change, especially to our political system. Not all change, but my default stance is "don't fuck with it".
- Good post, glad to hear others who are not Trumptards also support all of our Constitutional rights.
  I always vote against anyone who proposes to limit freedoms or rights of Americans, so I don't usually end up with many good candidates to vote for.
- What do you mean "politically conservative"?
  Edit: more to the point, political conservatism is characterized by the opposition to social transformation, yet you also say of yourself that you're an ardent feminist and aspiring antiracist. Which seems like a contradiction to me.
  
  I'm also confused by this very narrow definition of conservative. The poster went on to say they are against "changes....to our political system" which honestly makes it even more confusing, as if the difference between liberalism and conservatism has no social facet.
- Lol...

I live in Singapore, and because of that, I'm associated with Singaporeans.
I hate it because they're generally spoilt af, complaining all the time. They also tend to make fools of themselves overseas by being noisy and difficult. We're probably like this because Singapore is run in a really great way, and when compared to other countries, things may be slower or just done differently.
I try my best not to be like that and I will actively avoid Singaporeans if I see them overseas (you can tell by their accent and loud voices).
- And how much they say "La" in a passive aggressive way. Man, I'm tolerant to it because I don't know the culture that well, but it still annoys the shit out of me.
  
  To be fair, we use lah in almost every context, not just passive aggressiveness. But yeah singaporeans tend to be passive aggressive af, now that you mention it.

Gun ownership.
I really enjoy the sport of shooting. I don’t hunt. I don’t have a problem with people hunting so long as they eat what they shoot, hunt responsibly, and trophy hunters can get fucked. I like guns. I also think that people should have access to them.
That immediately seems to lump me in with the psychotic idiocy popularized by gun owners today. I despise those people. I have incredibly strong opinions about who should have access to guns, how guns should be stored, and how gun ownership should be licensed, insured, and actually monitored. The way the second amendment has been so woefully and foolishly written as to be vague and completely anachronistic by today’s standards it is doing far more damage than good, and the people that claim it’s to protect themselves from government are the very authoritarians trying to overthrow it.
So yeah, it sucks to want to participate in a sport full of asinine wingnuts or be associated with them. So I keep my mouth shut about owning guns.

I’m unwillingly associated with Nazis often when I disagree with people online. I deal with it by going on with my day, since there’s nothing else I can do about it.

The PMC. I'm a professional worker from a rural upbringing and a lot of my coworkers came from wealthier backgrounds with highly educated parents. I don't really do anything to "handle it" it's just noticeable cultural differences.
- What's pmc?
  
  Similar to CLV.
  
  A bit tongue in cheek reference but professional-managerial class. Essentially people who work for a living but make above average salaries and don't really associate, and/or consider themselves superior to, more industrial or blue collar working class. Working class but adopt more bourgeoise values.

Religious people are as stupid as flat earthers. I can’t stand either.

112 comments