1y ago

How often to you bail on a half-written post or response?

I have had a tendency since my earliest days on social media where I will get halfway or more through a response, and end up just cancelling it. Sometimes I feel like I’m just being to over the top with snark or otherwise don’t want to be that kind of person, but a lot of the time I’ll decide I just really don’t care enough to finish it. Sometimes I just know it’ll be an argument and I know what the person is going to say, and just have no interest in continuing the discussion. I did it on Reddit, I did it on bulletin boards, I even did it in my teens and twenties on Usenet - and I’ll probably go on doing it for as long as I continue using this medium. I probably do it a bit more than half the time. I know that lemmy benefits from more content and I have had some great discussions, but sometimes it’s just not worth it for me.

How about you? Do you hit publish or cancel more often?

144 comments

The irony is that there might have been a fair amount of replies to this, but people bailed on them. I guess we'll never know.
- Shout out to those guys

All the
- small things
  
  Truth care
  
  When do we want it?

I cancel more often. Because who cares what I have to say? And sometimes I realize it's been more therapeutic to just type a comment out than it is to hit post and deal with people's potential responses.
- I care what you say ❤️
  You, yes you reading this, have a valid perspective and a unique insight and the world is enriched by you sharing your thoughts with other strangers.
  
  I needed to hear this, thank you 🥹 You have a good heart Sparky
  
  That's so kind, thank you
- As @sparky678348@lemm.ee already so nicely said, I too would love to hear what you have to say. Whether it's something profound, something nice, or just that you like or enjoy someone else's comment/post.
  It is always so nice to hear from someone else, so don't put yourself down. Let yourself be heard and join the fun :)
  
  Thank you :)
- I realize it's been more therapeutic to just type a comment out than it is to hit post and deal with people's potential responses.
  Yeah, but on Lemmy if you get sick of the replies you can delete yours and take theirs down with it.
  
  Goated

Here I am writing my opinion, only to realise that many of you have already posted most of the valid points I was going to make. So now my comment is pretty much worthless and adds nothing to the discussion.
I cancel most of the time, but today I'll open an exception to prove my point.
Have you somehow become more enlightened by my post? Yeah, should have cancelled it.
- When you think about it, you sort of proving the point that…
  This took to long to formulate, so I gave up. But at least I posted it 🙃.
- I think that this answer really is great. It's truly provided me with...

Congratulations on finishing this post!

It’s a good 70% of the time that I’ll cancel instead of post. As I’ve gotten older my desire to be right has greatly diminished when it comes to random people on the internet.
- This is how I feel, but it's closer to 95% of the time for me. I've been on the Internet since its inception and I don't have it in me to deal with people's bullshit anymore.
  I don't need to be heard. I don't need to be right. I only post for help I can't get elsewhere or to help others. On the rare occasion I deviate from that rule, I usually get a reply that makes me regret engaging.
- Agreed. Plus, these days, most people just want to rile you into wasting your time compiling an argument and sources to back it up so they can go "fake lul!"

Like 95%. Almost cancelled this one before I erased most of it.

Constantly cancel. It's rarely worth arguing with people here.
- Entirely this. Social media debates are usually public grandstanding. It takes a tonne of time to research and compose a response that few people will see.
  
  You've summed up the problem nicely.
- Or I realize I'm over sharing with strangers.
- I beg to differ.

You'll be getting less answers from people who cancel more often. 😉
I think I cancel my posts about 1 to 5 percent of the time. Usually when it gets longer and I notice that my brain is too stupid to continue. Sometimes also when I catch myself being a little bit too sarcastic.
- As a data scientist, this is my favorite answer.

Absolutely. Sometimes you know your post isn't going to do anything worthwhile. Sometimes you're just being a dick. Sometimes the other person is clearly not going to listen to you. Sometimes your post adds nothing of value. That kind of self reflection is a good thing IMO. I wish more people did it

im so glad you asked this question. i cant tell you how many times i-
actually never mind

There's a high barrier for me to even start typing a comment, but I try to contribute more on lemmy. Haven't really participated on social media in years. I guess about 20% of the time when I think I should comment I actually do it.
- I know how you feel, I've had that same problem when I joined lemmy and really had to force myself to comment. But you know, I've told myself that in the end it's more about just saying what comes to mind than worry if you're really contributing to the conversation.
  Even if it's just agreeing with someone or just saying you like something, I prefer to write it out in a comment instead of clicking on some arrow. I like to think that whoever wrote the comment/post I replied to appreciates a personal response instead of an upvote. I know I do :)

40% I'd estimate, I tend to write very long and in depth comments and will realize either I dont care enough about the subject to finish my statement or argument point, or I'm likely being baited by someone who doesnt care about having a genuine exchange of ideas and just wants to be "right".

I wrote out a comment to answer you but halfway through I decided that my opinion wasn't worthy of sharing on Lemmy so I deleted it and wrote this instead.

Quite often.
I start organizing my thoughts by writing them down. Then I'll realize it's going to be impossible for me to succinctly yet accurately convey my point.
If what I've written is too long or too convoluted, I don't bother posting it, as the intended audience is usually the least likely to actually read it. If what I've written has too many caveats or too many points of contention, I don't bother posting it because I generally don't have much interest in connecting with pedants or those being intentionally obtuse/ignorant/etc.
Honestly, my experience has been that this place is mostly just a slightly different iteration of the same shit as the alternative it is modeled after when it comes to discourse. And I have minimal interest engaging in much of that. So, definitely more likely to lurk and/or to bail on a response than to actually post here.
- I can relate to this so much. I'm active in tech support communities and sometimes there's so many scenarios involved that being concise, accurate and still trying to sound human is quite difficult.
  I've been trying to shift my perspective in treating replies as the start of a conversation, where a shorter post with less information or caveats makes more sense to start from so you can narrow down the direction of the comment thread later.
  I realize my feelings might be highly specific to support/question threads, but your words really resonated with me regardless.
  
  I’ve been trying to shift my perspective in treating replies as the start of a conversation, where a shorter post with less information or caveats makes more sense to start from so you can narrow down the direction of the comment thread later.
  This is how you do it, put the most important details and fill in the rest if it comes up. The more words in a row the less anyone is going to read them.

My comments tend to be short enough that I've already written them and by that point I might as well submit.

All the time. Sometimes I'll write an entire wall of text, correct all the typos I could and then delete it. "Why bother? This person is just not going to consider a different opinion, just save yourself the pointless discussion."

Eh not that much. Who cares about points? I’ll edit my response if I mistyped or made it difficult to understand, but why not contribute to the convo? Again points matter way less here than on Reddit and even on Reddit it didn’t matter a whole bunch
- Sure, points are pointless. I still get a dopamine hit when the number goes up or I get nice comments.
  And I just wanted to bail on this comment, because I'm not sure if I grasp everything. But considering the topic I will leave it.
  
  You right, they’re pointless but the monkey brain loves seeing them be in the positive

depends. on political posts it's like 90% bail rate, because i get done typing a message and then realize i'm just feeding into the outrage machine.
but on meme posts? maybe 10% bail rate, because lol

I do it fairly often. Usually when:
It's pointless to submit the content, for the others and for myself.
There's a high chance that someone will misread it and whine.
It would help someone whom I don't want to.
In Lemmy it's usually the first thing.
- It would help someone whom I don’t want to.
  ....explain? We're...silently and maliciously watching people eat shit when they don't have to? And this happens often?
  Y tho
  
  Dunno about "we", but "I" do. I got plenty malice to watch them suffer! MWAHAHAHA [/evil villain laughter]
  Serious now: if the person can't be arsed to help themself, or if their request for help sounds like a demand/whining/passive aggressiveness. A noob saying "pls help how do i shoot web tnx" is 100% fine in my book, a "waah, why isn't this community helping me? [insert easy-to-websearch question]" is not.
  And this happens often?
  Can't recall doing it in Lemmy. But I did all the time in a certain other platform.

Funny enough, I almost replied to a comment here and then deleted it.
I've been trying to do it less since migrating to Lemmy because I recognize that the smaller userbase means that my interaction is more valuable, even if it's scary.
- Right?! Same, Lemmy feels more human, probs because the big ones are mostly bots now.
  ... almost didn’t send this 🙃
  
  I'm glad you did, friend.

For me personally it's when discussing controversial topics, I know I'm right but I'm too lazy to get into an argument to elaborate on my points in detail.
- It's hard for me to self evaluation how often I'm right but if I'm asserting something with confidence I hold myself to rigorous proof.
  If I'm just chatting about beliefs it's a bit different but if I'm asserting something as fact I try not to say anything I can't show the receipts for to check myself for misinformation.
  If this process is too much work I just say nothing.

About four words in

Far less than on the other site. I've been trying to commit in order to grow the Fediverse, even if I've got a few garbage hot takes. I will say, my shit comments seem to get way more responses than my good ones.
- Similar situation with me. Although I don't complete my comments just to help Fediverse have more in it, because I don't think the shit stuff even I wouldn't like to be a part of it. Not saying you do it, cuz shit differs.
  The times I hit cancel are usually when I can't conclude my arguments satisfactorily. Sometimes my argument isn't as contributive to the discussion, whether by sounding stretched or irrelevant, or by simply sounding incorrect or incoherent in the end. I bet a lot of people realize this as well when they put their thoughts into words and hit cancel. Nevertheless, it is a commendable action to both try to form the argument and send it to trash when you realize it isn't reasonable in forms of communication.
  Mostly the reason I complete my comments and hit submit is that Fediverse feels way less toxic, has a lot wider views, actually discusses a lot different takes, and generally less hivemind about upvotes/downvotes, although they matter less here.

A lot. Sometimes I have something to say but so afraid of ridicule I back out

Yeah that’s something I’d never do because it just seems

Virtually every single response I type out gets canceled without posting. It's extremely rare that I actually feel good enough about a comment I'm making to actually post it. Even if I do make a comment I'll often come right back and delete it, or make a hundred rapid fire edits to it before usually deleting it anyway. That's how after 6 months here I've only made 5 total comments.
- Virtual hugs.

I literally bailed while writing a comment on another post just to scroll down to this post next.
So yea… all the time.

Fairly often. I’ll get a sentence out and then

50% of my messages here on Lemmy.
I'd guess more like 25% of messages at work and 75% on the discord server I use with IRL friends are deleted without being posted.

Constantly

here's me, posting 1 in every 10 comments I start writing.

I have a personality with a low neuroticism and a low conscientiousness, so I usually post.
- I'm inverse you.
  Genuinely overthinking this very reply.
  Luckily, I'm also impulsive.

Quite often, probably mostly because I have social anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I'm not adding anything meaningful to that conversation or that I'm probably not being as helpful as I initially think I am. I sometimes also have trouble putting my thoughts into words.

Hahaha I saw this after bailing on another post. Like 80% of the time I think better of it. My comments tend to actually get posted when I'm in bed half asleep. Apparently I'm more willing to share when I'm mentally impaired from tiredness

Probably 50/50. Mostly because I don’t care enough to get in an argument or have to defend what I say.
Simple throwaway comments, observations, generic opinion stuff I’ll just drop it and move on.
Anything I’m really knowledgeable in though, I’ll start and then cancel because there’s always someone who wants to challenge and argue and it’s just exhausting.

fuck it never mind
- fook this nvm

i tend to be long-winded and i dont often have a good sense for what information is explicitly necessary, so i have started a fair few comments that ive lost steam on and convinced myself werent worth posting. i also have not participated in social media for about ten years, so i dont have the sense that i can just casually post something without it being particularly valid, but when i do post its after reassuring myself that what i say doesnt always have to be life-altering.
so yea, probably 40% of the time i bail if i start thinking about it more than i should, which is easy to do when i have to proofread so much due to florisboard not having autocorrect.
- I think we’re very much on the same page.

Sometimes I realize I'm not contributing anything new to the conversation. I just upvote the post that said what I wanted to say and be done with it. Yeah, I could get some upvotes, but what's the point? It's not like I can buy things with imaginary points.

80% of my comments. I try to set a baseline and be kind/respectful (not that I am always successful) but I'm not particularly a kind or respectful person. A lot of my comments are bitter and removed and I end up deleting them. This place isn't reddit and I'll be damned if I participate in inflicting my negativity on this place.
- I mean, backing down on your hostility is an effort to be respectful from your part. There's plenty of people with a very negative inner monologue who just keep the negativity to themselves.

A great deal. I also don't like to get in internet arguments a lot for the same a reasons.

When I start on a responce, which is rare, I finish it. I'm more a reader then writer.

About 20% I'd say. It used to be much higher, arounx80%, but pushing through the anexity of feeling like have nothing to contribute has helped improved my writing. Perhaps it's come with age, but I feel like it's much easier to make myself and my thought process understood by others. A younger me thought that logic and just "being correct" was enough to be persuasive, but that's just not how people work.

I do this all the time. I see so many brainless, low-effort posts all over the internet that I don't want to add to the pollution with anything I'm not confident is either informative or funny.
But I also want Lemmy to grow and thrive, so here I've been making more of an effort to try to finish and post even comments I'm not so certain about. I figure that has to be better for the site than contributing nothing at all.