1y ago

My children will refer to me as father.

144 comments

"Bruh, can you tuck me in?" 😂
- Aye bruh, can I get a goodnight kiss?

My daughter calls me Daddio.
It's pretty fucking awesome.
- Sounds like she is one cool cat.
- It's only cool if you look like that guy from the Iron Giant.
- Hopefully you've given her a proper hat and a pack of cigs because she's so cool
- Slide me some skin daddio
  
  sus
- I like Pops

My kids already call me bruh.

I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me. if I was having sex with someone and they called me daddy I'd probably immediately go soft
- I get soft even if it just pops up in a title when looking at porn. It's just deeply off-putting.
- Just you wait until you meet people with mommy issues. THOSE you wanna avoid
  Mostly because I'm my experience people with mommy issues tend to be male NEETs who are incapable of seeing any woman as just a friend. Usually incels too. I found them to be kind of abusive as people too and turn vindictive when you don't feed into their fantasies. As a woman, it's always the same old story when I encounter these men.
  Meanwhile people with daddy issues usually have their shit together regardless of gender.
  
  I just feel bad. Those with daddy issues get way less hate than those with mommy issues.
  
  Yeah as someone who is into mom bods I hear enough horror stories to be very grateful I don’t have to deal with them
- My partner calls me daddy and she's older yhan me, so... what does that make me???
  
  you're the baby daddy.
  I don't judge, more power to you.
- I've been in this exact situation. Went soft immediately and we had to have a talk about it.
- I do not get the sexualisation of daddy. It just feels pedo and cringy to me
  I mean... it's pretty common for people to call romantic partners "baby", I don't see how that's different
  
  Yeah I think that's a bit weird as well tbh
- I’m probably soft right now as I write this
  
  I’m soft but by the end of this sentence I’m hard. Now I’m soft again. Weird.
- Sounds lame as hell, it's awesome

You can do "Pa". It's objectively impossible to sexualize "Pa". You could try, but it'd immediately nuke the mood from orbit.
- Ok papi
  
  Note that Pa and papi are very much not the same.
  You can totally sexualize "papi". It's hard not to, honestly. Pa, though? Well, check out the rest of these replies and tell me if they sound like flirty sexy times or like they're trying to warn me that we forgot to bring the sheep back in for the night.
- You sure about that pa? Ugh. I literally shuttered while typing this.
- Pa~ 🥰😉😩💦
- Bonus: you'll sound like the kid from Outlaw Josey Wales. "I got the gold right here Pa. The gold me an' Josey robbed from the bank, Pa."
- Yes but but but pa pi

"bruh or some shit" is a pretty long name.
- Use the acronym: BOSS
- They shortened it to just "shit."

It might take a while to get all the syllables, and I fully expect them to get 'mama' first, but I'm gonna aim for 'destroyer of worlds'.

Y'all watch too much porn. Touch grass.
- Like... Sexually?
  
  Bruh
- Can I touch ass or gas instead? I've been told those three things are of equal value.

Tell Dad jokes and all you get it "bruh".

Aa shitposting, this is hilarious. Given some comments though... It's funny. People think this is a new thing. It's just more in your face due to ubiquitous network we live in today. It has always been thus. Or did you think kinks just started after the Internet?
- Steam powered, dildo machines were a thing....
  
  Steam, huh, is this some weird Half Life 3 confirmed post? ;)
  
  Well, the little guy does love the whole steampunk thing...
- Sacher-Masoch (of "masochism" fame) was born in 1836, de Sade (of "sadism" fame) in 1740. So it's probably not a new thing, no.
  
  That's sad that sadists were walking around for almost a century where no one wanted to put up with their shit
- Tbh I'm pretty sure the Internet just made us hyper fixate on sex.

I henceforth refer to you as some shit
- Ain't that Some Shit
- some shit, can you tuck me in?

Thank goodness it's not sexualized in my language
- Which language out of curiosity?
  
  Slovak
  Never heard anyone using "Tati", "Tatino", "Otec" or whatever other combination of those in a sexual manner.

Sometimes my mom says I'm a good girl when I help her out and it kinda icks me out <.<; I'm like "uuucchh you're my mom, not my dom! Stop calling me that!" but I don't wanna actually say that to her because that seems like it'll just make the matter even more awkward.
Anyway, hi, Lemmy Shitpost, how are you :D 😅🤣
- you’re my mom, not my dom
  This is such a great line but also super niche in situations where it’s appropriate. I think you gotta take the opportunity to drop it next time it appears… you have no choice
  
  super niche
  Imean... One would expect, no?!
  you have no choice
  You're not even my mom! Nyeh-nyeh! :P (See, it's funny because it implies that dom > mom > rando ... but I'd never listen to Mom harharharharhar I should really have a nap.)
- “You’re my mom not my dom”
  Great now I’m dreading the day I hear this said to my gf from her kid

You will be the father, they will be the son, and mom will be the Holy ghost.
porn music starts
- Darth Vaders family in a nutshell

Forgive me father for I have sinned
- Sorry daddy I have been bad
  
  Im vewy sowwy daddy I've been naughty

My kids call me bruh and I'm their mom, so, eh.
- Good, it would be weird if you and the kids said it.

Bringing "Sire" back
- You sure? That was also sexualized.
- Oh sire harder

that guy needs to stop watching so much porn
- Yes, daddy. :(

Pastor boys in shambles

Time to turn to tradition. Herr Papa (Mister Dad) it shall be.
- VATER
- Nononono, it should be "Herr Vater" or "Papa" (with emphasis on the second syllable.
  
  Ah, too formal. Herr Papa.
- I love it when you call me Big Papa

In our family kids call their parents by their name 🤷

Father/Mother is just too formal for casual conversation though. Those two terms are already connotated with formality, and having your relationship with your kids feel casual is important to me at least.
- Dad feels great to me, not really sexualized and casual.

English isnt my mother language, so, hah! i just wont raise my kids in english, quick solution

Feels even weirder to proactively kink shame your own daughter tbh.
- that
  wait
  what?
- Let's be honest, it's the dad who has the issue here. The daughter didn't sexualize shit.

They won't. Welcome to the daily 'nam flashbacks.

Just have her call you daddy in a different language
- Si, Papi!!
  
  Papi does not mean the same thing?

Image Transcription: Twitter Post
alexander, @whosalexander
the word daddy has been so sexualized that my kids are gonna have to call me bruh or some shit

Stop watching that step-family porn might help.
- They even change the titles of older porn now so it's all step family related. It's dumb.
  
  10 years ago:
  Pornhub list a bunch of vids with "step" in the title on the front page
  Every single visitor clicks on them
  Pornhub concludes everyone likes step family videos without ever testing any other theme and issues a company wide initiative to promote the step family theme until click numbers start to drop
  Present day:
  Click numbers are still growing.
- No. Its a real world thing as well. I slept with a one woman that kept calling me daddy throughout the whole thing. Granted it did turn me on so...
  
  My wife calls me daddy. i have a kid who also calls me daddy and I have zero issue with that. I am able to seperate the worlds

I detest the phrase "daddy"!!!
Oh, and 'bruh' is a whole different genre of porn you aren't ready for.
- I am though, enlighten me

I've always been partial to "pop" though "pops" is an ageist slur
- Haha

144 comments