1y ago

We live in a society

113 comments

Why don't they have Wi-Fi in Church?
!They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually does something!<
- The power of zing compels you

Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.
Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.
- Panera's doing their best! It's hard to compete when the other guy has a head start that spans basically all of recorded history
- Let them cook
- [deleted]

You know what? That death lemonade isnt going to rape your kid so it is still better than church.

Ok but I’m still not going to church

I get a tasty lemonade, AND I get to die??? Sign me up!!
- I haven't tried it, but I heard it's not actually that great. Though that one person who died had three of them, so what do I know
  
  I kinda want to try it and if I live go on and on about how that makes me invincible
  
  As long as each lemonade is tasty/3 or better, OP is still golden
- Well, you get to die anyways, so that's lemonade && 1 = lemonade

How many people have died because of organized religion vs. Panera charged lemonade.

Hi there, just dropping in to say that caffeine is more dangerous than cannabis
flies away
Edit:
Anti-weed Puritans trying to find ways weed is actually harmful
Harry J. Anslinger looking up from hell
- Meth is more dangerous than caffeine
  shoots away

To be fair, the church had killed more people than literally anything.
- Mosquitoes would probably beat them, but they've had a hefty head start. The church are aware of this, of course, which is why they double down on the paedophilia to catch up.
  
  STOP PUPAEPHILIA

I don't blame people for not going to church. They don't even give you wine anymore, just grape juice. Jesus drank wine, why can't I?
- I thought Jesus was wine or something like that? I've never participated in Christianity's cannibalistic rituals though, so I'm sure I'm a bit confused.
  
  the wine only becomes Jesus' blood in your tummy unless you have an operation or autopsy then it turns back into wine just in the nick of time, apparently.
  
  It's only cannibalism if you believe you are the same as God.
  Arise, God-drinkers.
- For mormons it's just water :(
  
  Mormons had to mix mayonnaise into their ketchup when it first got introduced to Utah, because ketchup was too spicy. Mormons are removed.
- Jesus tasted the private jet life and doesn't visit pastors without one anymore, so they need to save up for one, hence the budget cuts in your wine.

How about neither?
- No no, let's hear the lemonade out
  
  Okay, but if Panera starts playing bad rock songs in praise of their lemonade, I'm leaving.

So I either have to die from needlessly over caffeinated soft drinks or deliver my own son to a molestation orgy club? What fucked up kind of choice is that?!

To be fair though, church is many times more deadly and 0% delicious 🤷
- Oh they can be delicious alright...

Fuck knows what church has got to do with anything.

I must be out of the loop. What's church?

Don't threaten me with a good time Panera
- Right? The suicide coaster of beverages.
- I'm surprised this is only 3rd from the top. Half joking about wanting death is like 3 generations deep at this point xD

Random caffeine overdoses are preferable to repeated genocide…

Wait what
- Panera has been selling some sort of lemonade with a ton of caffeine, and there have been a couple of news stories recently about it killing people.
  It sounds like people aren't aware that "charged lemonade" has caffeine at all when they order it. Or maybe they realize it but aren't expecting 260-390mg.
  
  Holy fuck where has this lemonade been my whole life???!?!?!
  If you never see me post again, tell my mom I loved her!
  
  Fck. That seems like it's way more than your typical energy drink that's off the charts too.
  I would love to know how that product development meeting went. "Hey people, we have this idea, think lemonade and coffee, but like 10 cups of coffee in a single lemonade.
  It's like being kicked in the chest by a horse. It could kill some people and open us up to litigation, but man are the sales going to be way up there too!"
  
  For context, the energy drink sitting next to me has 160mg of caffeine.
  
  For anyone concerned about their beverages. Following is a table of Recommended maximum daily intake of caffeine according to different age groups & categories: https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/food-nutrition/food-safety/food-additives/caffeine-foods.html
  FDA's recommendations: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/spilling-beans-how-much-caffeine-too-much
  For measure: 8 oz (227 g) of Coffee has 80-100 mg of caffeine or 35-45 mg of Caffeine per 100 g of Coffee. (Average, numbers may vary accordingly.)
  
  I think at least one case where a death occured they had like 3 or 4 of them
  
  Goddamn, that's a lot of caffeine on a lemonade, wth
  
  I heard about some problem with caffeine, but didn't hear about it being about Panera. Jeebus crissmas that is actually nuts.
  
  There was a coffee shop in Canada apparently selling an off-menu "nurse special" or something like that, was like 8 espresso shots or something ridiculous meant to be consumed over the course of a 12 hour shift. Caused some issues with people but seems like the article disappeared.
  
  Darwin effect
  
  The caffeine content was literally listed on the drink's nametag taking up like 1/4 of the tag.
  One of the guys who died drank 90oz of the stuff and had known blood pressure issues. Panera isn't at fault here.