This may seem kind of stupid but I am kind of stupid, is there a list somewhere of phrases that are stupid or insensitive racially or gender biased?

I hate how everybody else gets to judge whether or not someone’s speech is offensive, regardless of what someone intended

However, the determination of offensive speech is not in the hands of the speaker, but rather in the reception by the listener.

Descriptively speaking, I think that it's more complex than it looks like - the determination depends on the linguistic community, not just the listener.

I get what you're saying, but nobody who says they are going to start cracking the whip is talking about training animals. Even if they were, that's not an inoffensive metaphor, either. You're either comparing subordinates to slaves or animals. You're suggesting that physical violence, the threat of torture, is an appropriate motivator, or you wish it were. If that's not what you're saying, then you shouldn't say that, even as an exaggeration or a joke.

It is an offensive metaphor. You may not offend everyone, but if you have offended someone, it's not their fault you said something offensive. They didn't choose to be offended, and made no determination about what you meant. You should say what you mean, clearly, and with intent. Carelessness is not an excuse for using offensive language.

I too learned this the hard way, but with an image. Specifically, the "Shut Down Everything" meme. It's an older meme and I used it in chat room with a much younger (Zoomer) crowd. The image has some resemblance to certain offensive depictions of Black people. I think it was accidental, given that it appears to be more an influence of MS Paint.

Someone got offended and talked to their manager. Unfortunately it was only months later that I got word through my manager. I would have appreciated an opportunity to offer to apologize to them face-to-face. I should have spotted the resemblance and not used the meme.

Me and the boys going to work on the Big Book of Slurs

So, basically twitter...

And it is locational. Something insensitive in the US might be insensitive here in Oz or over in Europe.... Or might not.

That is how idiom works.

Yesterday

Cursèd Saracens did spoil my day

Give us strength to crush those hordes, I pray

Oh, I believe in Huns to slay

A lot of people post online that they love the phrase “cotton-headed ninny-muggins”.

But once you look at it thought this lens…boys I think this one’s not ok.

Those are the exact two examples for me as well! I thought I was alone in my idiocy!

Hell, "jewing someone down" was always a positive and admirable thing for me. Guess as a little kid I thought it was complementary to Jews and never thought about it again.

Not even going to say how long ago it was that I realized the reference to Gypsies. But it was a recent event, and I'm old.

How about "shyster"? I'm scared to ask...

My family always pronounced it "chewing them down," so I was surprised to see it written the first time. I was probably in college.

I'm 38 and I did not know this.

Whip cracker is actually probably false etymology, like a retcon of the origin that is popular, but actually not true.

So you're telling me Saltines aren't part of my American heritage?

Oh, fuck. This would have been nice to know sooner.

Huh. Never heard of that before. But then, am Aussie and don't know much yank idiom.

Yeah, that's called Welshing.

Oh god I went to a public school rear a native reserve, it was always insane to me to see how many times the faculty referred to things as 'Indian'

Ex. we had an Indian meal day that i don't think was either east India nor native american inspired

And Indian cuts. I realized it was racist when I heard the next generation calling them Chinese cuts.

Or Indian sunburns. Or sitting Indian style.

I always thought “Indian summer” sounded very poetic, maybe related to the climate of the Indian subcontinent.

But it’s just garden variety American racism?
That’s so disappointing!

Does anyone know more about the etymology?

Could you explain the firewater one?

Indian^* here, and I don’t know anyone offended by Indian summer.

^*It says Indian on my ID.

Ok I’ve thought about it a bit and I need to know. What’s wrong with Indian summer?

You should call them "box that absorbs all light" and "box that absorbs no light" you fucking racist

I'm still mad about git master

Master as in "the master copy"

And they went and broke a bunch of tools and workflows to change it

To add to this:

List of lists of pejorative terms for people

It includes lists for men, women, lgbt+, disability, age, ethnicity, religion, location. The severity of the terms is varying and arguably location-dependent.

For example, while I (probably) wouldn't use the word "wanker" in a formal professional large meeting in my current workplace without it being somehow contextual, almost no Australian or New Zealander in that company would blink an eye if I said it casually at lunch. But when I worked in the education sector I used the personal rule "if I don't want it written on my gravestone, I shouldn't say it", because teachers have subsonic and lightning-fast swearing detection reflexes, even when they're not at school.

In school there was a group of mostly white friends that had a Asian kid in their friends group. His nickname was Nip. I honestly didn't know his real name as another was never used. It was a few years before I realized the connotation that was there once I started studying history. Not sure if it was a parent or where it came from but most of us at the time had no idea how bad it was. It was just his name and he used it too.

Then I think of my church going father. One of the kindest men I knew. Never had a bad thing to say about anyone unless it was personal thing based on a issue first hand.

Race wasn't on his mind at all. Being from the westcoast in a remote wilderness area most of the demographic was white and native with very few in those days what were called east Indians and Asians mixed in. More the exception if at all.

He worked for a logging outfit and towards the end of his career he was a logging road grader operator. I recall going down a road that he maintained in a Jeep with him. As I was navigating this rough road the logging trucks pounded constantly he told me to watch out for this large rock that was below the surface. Just the head of the rock was sticking up. He called them " the N word- heads" I was shocked. I knew he wasn't racist and was friends with the only black church member in town but the word just came out of this mouth as easily as any other word.

I asked him why he called it that, he said that's just what they were called. He didn't continue after that day with me as I don't think he thought about it until our conversation.

In some ways I did equate this to the numerous white kids I knew singing the NWA lyrics in school despite not even seeing a black kid before but this was in the 90s. I can still hear those lyrics as I type this.

Now this isn't to say kids were not nasty, as they were. There were several unkind things used when talking about the native kids that made up to half the school population and more of that where my family lived.

Back to my grandfather's time bonds were formed with the local native bands and friends were made but I'm sure the languaged used at times like "Indian giver" wasn't connected to the real reality.

I do fear as I get older I'm falling into one of these traps with gender and identity words. I think as we get older and comfortable with our understanding of the world we have figured out, some aren't really willing to figure out more.

Despite interacting and having friends from the older local gay community I've not been exposed to anyone that introduces themselves with their name and then their pronouns.

I'm not sure if we can just call everyone "them" or "they" without offending people? Feels like a good starting place but I've not learned yet it this is as bad as the N-word?

How?

This is wrong. What OP said was very much offensive, comparing yourself to that of a slaver. It is a rare figure of speech, and while not intentional it is still offensive. However, the context of who you're talking to doesn't matter, it is an offensive statement regardless of the history of the person you're saying it to.

For OP: it is okay to make a mistake, especially when you recognize it.

I think it might have originated in the Bible. Paul says in Titus‬ ‭1:12‭-‬13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

"One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: 'Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.' This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith.

I always found it comical that Paul, the great apostle, endorsed this stereotype of the people of Crete.

I think it's medical and insulting use are obsolete lmao

100%. We’re all human and so many phrases are just in the vernacular.

I grew up hearing the word “gypped”. I didn’t know that’s how it was spelled (thought it was jipped.) It wasn’t until I was in college that I realized gypped -> Gypsy and extremely offensive. I’m still embarrassed that it took me that long to figure out.

"it's their fault if they get offended"

• person who doesn't value the opinion of those they offend

That's a different list.