Please don't hate me I know I'm a mess

Join the self-checkout gang

You’d think so, but even then I feel pressure. People go to the self checkouts for the quick and convenient process . Then here I am holding EVERYONE UP trying to gather my bags and fumbling around with my receipt. Every time.
- Relish it. Go through your receipt and verify every item is in the bags. Bonus points for ticking off each entry with a pen and confirming the SKUs are correct.
- Just be like the slow driver in the left lane not giving a fuck.
- sounds like your area needs more stores or at least more terminals, all the stores i've been to basically never have a queue for the self checkout.
Did a self checkout recently at a store I'd never been to before. Went through pretty smooth, shoved receipt in my pocket, and then saw they had little security gates and a receipt scanner, so I had to fish out the crumpled paper from my pocket, fumble around trying to find the barcode thing, and of course it also had a random QR code that I tried to scan for like a minute until the security guard had to come over and help me. Luckily it wasn't that busy, but if there had been someone waiting behind me it woulda been a nightmare.
Nope. Back in my day we got service buying gas. Now I have to pay more for gas and do it myself. You are destroying a society, and to a point making somebody not being able to have a job for as long as possible. You pay extra and corporate benefits
- Eh, it's just unecessary. I'm all in favor of phasing out boring, repetitive jobs. Have humans do fun things while robots run shit we don't want to deal with.
- I guess thats a fair point. I was talking more about stores tho where you can choose between self-checkout and normal checkout.
- This is why my home town has a bylaw indicating that fuel can only be dispensed by personnel of the business retailing the fuel. Sometimes people from out of town do insist on pumping their own gas though.
- There's no stopping automation. Even if the cashiers were free the big players would still go to a self service model.
  
  It's faster and less error prone, meaning more customers, meaning more profit.
Yeah except the exact change, coupon hounds and just generally dim folks tie those up too. And it’s a 4:1 fuck up.

I was in Home Depot and some donut was trying to buy a grill he wheeled in from the display outside through self checkout. The. Demanded to not have a floor model. Tied up the cashier for a hot minute. Meanwhile another old lady started flagging down some rando to help with a coupon that I’m fairly sure was fucking years expired. And some third poor soul had a legit problem but was in donut purgatory for a bit.

The checkout line guy was literally faster. But I wasn’t in a hurry and was just enjoying the show and letting others cut and go through the non self checkout. It was fucking mesmerizing.
Or just the paying with card gang...
Self-checkout gives me so much anxiety 😭

Exactly what it feels like. Had this happen once and the 5 people behind me were like "dude calm down we're not gonna shoot you lol, take your time". Which didn't calm me down. At all. 😂

Understandably, shooting someone isn't really something one should joke about
- I don't live in America or Brazil if that helps haha
- Totally

That's something you'll lose with age and some self confidence, take your time, everyone else is taking yours too.

The problem is the idiot cashiers that want to hand you the coins, bills, and receipts in one pile. Do they not know those go 3 different places?

They do it this way in Japan. The solution is simple: you take everything, move to the self-bagging area (most supermarkets are self-bagging), and do your sorting and tidying there.

Just a few tables to get things in order before leaving the store.
Is that not the standard way to hand them to a customer?
- AFAIK it is.
  
  Not really sure why people are putting away their money while still standing in line anyways. I just step out of the way and let the next person go while I put away my cash and stuff.
Yeah, we need a third arm!
- Good cashiers give them so separated in one hand that you can easily put everything where is belongs one at a time. I see them and i appreciate it
Former cashier here, we're minimizing effort and germs because we don't get paid enough to care. Our hearts are not in it.

Idgaf what’s five seconds gonna waste you? I’m already done with my purchase.

Can someone tell me from which movie or TV show this meme is?

Jessica Jones
- Thank you!
- I believe only season 1, though.
  
  Season 1 was fantastic, it dropped off pretty quickly after that imo.

Me. I'm the next person in line. Hahaha

"Hope you don't mind if I pay in pennies."

I counted the items, there are 10.
- But it should be 10 items or fewer!
I've had that happen before when I used to work at Arby's.

First customer of my shift, and this monster pays for a regular roast beef sandwich entirely in pennies. It was roughly 450~ pennies. I was ready to murder.
I purposefully avoid old people in front of me in lines because of shit like that.

“Hey here’s a sack of nickles and dimes to count out exact chnage. Nope I won’t start counting till I know the final total too. “

Just take your change and step to the side. Allows the next person to continue checking out and gives you plenty of time to put away your change.

Nah, take as much time as possible, and also always avoid the self-checkout. Don't play along with these corporations trying to eliminate jobs, give the cashiers job security by asking lots of questions and taking your sweet ass time at the register. If you have to do self-checkout because there's no open cashiers, always ask for assistance from the nearest attendant.
- Oh god no. I am a cashier, and trust me we are not paid enough to deal with that bullshit. Just lemme scan your shit, pay for it all, and then go! We have stuff to do other than helping customers and don't need to be playing counselor or customer service clerk for someone who just is trying to take up our time.
  
  You are not helping. You are not giving us job security. All you're doing is causing us undue stress.

I like to not give a shot and take my time. Sometimes it works and I'm relaxed. Other times I feel the pressure and I'm awkward. Some employes like to scan the items so fast that I hardly have time to pack them in the bag then they just stand there looking at me with this face while I clumsily finish packing and pay.

Do you pay after packing? Here we pay before.
- What happens to all your food? It just piles up ?
- Here the employee just scans and does not pack. We do it hopefully faster than he/she packs then we are expected to pay. I'm in Europe. There's also self-service machines which I prefer, no pressure there and there's a single line for multiple machines, so I can take my sweet time without anyone looking at me.
Fuck that. If they want to force us to pack our own shit they can bloody well wait. I take my time to pack nicely and then I walk back to the payment system and pay. Usually the next customer is already encroaching on the pay terminal so I push them back by invading their personal space. Ever since covid and pushing for reusable bags they force us to pack our own stuff, they can reep what they they sow.

I just stuff it in my shirt pocket and fix it when I'm outside

Hey, man. At least you're not paying with a check.

It's because you paid in cash and everyone had to wait for the cashier to do what they do.

It had nothing to do with getting the money back in/on your person.

This feels especially distressing while I'm stoned. Like people staring at me fumbling around in my pockets for what feels like an eternity, when the interaction really took like 25 seconds.

If I go any faster, then I'll probably drop it all and take even longer. Then it'll be awkward for the both of us.