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Grayox @lemmy.ml

1y ago

Where is Kevin?

92 comments

I love how this is so much more triggering than just the text implies. 4:3 screen, christmas lights that would kill every ounce of contrast in the picture, one wrong move and the pizza gets either wool stuck on it or it falls to the ground. Not to mention that it's too far away to actually eat.
- That's without the fact that Peperoni grease can seep through the cardboard and into the white sheets.
  
  Never had this happen, how much oil is on/in your pizzas lol
- Table/chair slightly blocking screen, and I suspect there is some sort of fuckery going on with how that pizza is cut but I'm can't tell because my hands are literally shaking at this point
  
  The size of the pieces is uneven, don't look!
- also this person apparently has 4 feet. how could you miss that?!
  
  Space Wizards' average fan is that kind of mutant
- Yeah I knew instantly this was created by an experienced troll
- could've gone even worse with the screen. 1:1 and stretch to fit instead of crop to fit xD
- If that's supposed to be a projected image, then it should be washed out af with the room being so lit up. The darkest colors should only be about as dark as the white wall behind it.
- There's also the bare pizza box in the stark white comforter. You know that cardboard isn't going to keep all that pepperoni pizza oil in for very long.

I call bullshit. It's not physically possible to be at that scene with a full pizza.
- And that dog is just lying there across the room...seems sus.

Kevin finds your lack of Trek... disturbing
- Kevin who?
- Kevin has altered the deal...pray he does not alter it any further.

Look. All of you people complaining about the 4:3 screen.
THAT'S WHAT WE HAD IN THE 80S AND WE LIKED IT THAT WAY.
Stupid kids. Get off my lawn.
- I'm going to intentionally clip the corner of your lawn everyday.
  
  there's something really funny about the idea of the hitherto metaphorical kids on one's lawn clipping the lawn, and that being the thing that gets the old guy all grumpy in this scenario. Like not loitering or doing drugs, just unauthorised lawn maintenance.
- That TV didn't exist in the 80s. I'm kinda wondering where it came from
  
  It's a projector.
- Came to comments to complain about 4:3. I see I'm in good company

wtf? 4:3? Really?
- And that didn't even bother me as bad as the bias lighting setup on this.
  
  Half-assedly throwing Christmas lights around your screen is an insane idea
- That's by far the most disturbing thing about this post. The movie is 2.35:1. This looks even closer to square than 4:3. If you watched the movie with this framing you'd be missing more than half the movie.
  
  Unfortunately, by the time widescreen formats for home viewing became common Star Wars was butchered into a shadow of its former self, so unless you're going to sail the high seas you've got to pick your poison.
- Didn't even notice until your comment. How do you even buy one of those?
  
  You're gonna need a time machine...

Why do they have the pizza at their feet? Wtf is wrong with those people?
- It helps the cheese develop more flavor
- Pizza with loose hairs and dust topping, yum!

I see you're watching the holodeck episode where Captain Reynolds battles Captain Picard for Kirk's seat on the flight deck.
Excellent episode.!
- Is that the same one where Jack O'Neill slaps Wesley Crusher for not getting in the robot?

So you have two pairs of legs? And wont the pizza grease stain the sheets?
- doesn't matter, had pizza.
- That's just how some people flavor their 🧀 cheese!

“Where is Kevin? Is he safe? Is he alright?”
Peak cinema 🥺

I love that scene.. Kirk is like,"you are not my father" and then Vader is like "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" and Amidala turns out to be his grandma
- "Kirk, I am your father."
  Classic goosebump moment.

Eat your freakin pizza
- Leaving the box open is akin to murder in my home. You want hot fresh pizza? So do I. Don't leave the box open.
  
  And we can all at least understand when it doesn't get closed after someone takes a slice. Maybe the last person thought someone else was going to get a slice? But a box remaining open with zero slices removed... that's not human.
  
  Leaving the box open results in my cat suddenly going faster than the speed of light and stealing as much as he can from the pizza.
  Or even if I leave the box closed and unattended for a minute there will be a huge hole gnawed through the cardboard...

Not really a fan, is that Gandalf and Mal in the picture?

You really want to see the world burn. This is like the episode in ENT where captain Archer for the first time after the time war saw a Dalek and Rose is like "what is this" and Archer is like "I thought they were gone for good" or something. Don't hate me if I got the quote wrong.
- Don't hate me if I got the quote wrong.
  I believe what Captain Archer actually said there was "The zone we will be venturing into is one of danger."

What exactly is going on in the background of the Death Star there? Are those windows? People working late night office jobs? Are those just a bunch of lit panels going beep-boop? Is there some technician who glances up at them occasionally and goes "Ah, shit. The samouflange (what the fuck is a samouflange?) is out on the megacondenser! Rob, could you please run a parse on panel A5D and get that boy blinky again?" and Rob is like, "You're right, Michael. I hardly noticed."
EDIT: Apparently it's Cloud City. I recall this now. I'm honestly shocked that everyone has been so civil about this.
- Not the Death Star, this is from empire, this would be the inside of cloud city
  
  It's the enterprise
- It's inside a ventilation shaft in Cloud City. Maybe people have houses that look out into the ventilation shaft, because it's at least better than no windows at all?
  To me, it looks like panel lights on a computer / machine. But, why have those indicator lights in a ventilation shaft where you only rarely have people?

You idiot, that's not Star Trek. That is a very popular talent show with Ed McMahon from the 80's called 'Star Search'. I'd recognize that catwalk stage anywhere. Here is L. Skywalker's first performance: https://youtu.be/T98JbbpINm4?feature=shared

Nice vegan pizza to go with your star track.

Just wait until you get to Star Trek Atlantis! I'm not NOT saying that Ford Prefect is a Cylon, but wait 'til you see what Bender has to say about it!

I love that episode of the muppets!

That's the episode where Picard reveals that he's Spocks father right?

Kevin fights the Borg

Here is a DallE rendering of the same setup that maybe is less offensive.
- this girl brought her own slice of pizza to the pizza party. she fucks
- LOL
  Get back under the sheets, 2nd girl head!

Oh, Kevin's not until Episode VIII.
- I think you mean episode VIIII.
  
  Come to think of it may have been episode VIIIII.
- Was he the broom?
  
  You're thinking of Babylon 8.

Brave to put a pizza in a paper box ontop of your sheets.

Ah yes, after this scene they gonna battle star galactica!
- When Spider Jerusalem steals Doctor Who's ray gun, omg

star what now?
- Stargate

I love this

He'll show up eventually!

I know. And you'll see, it's crazy when they get to activate the 8th chevron of the stargate.

At what point does one start eating the pizza? When it's texture is remarkably similar to the cardboard box it's sitting in? Full pizza.. at almost the end of the movie.. I mean.. it doesn't even makes sense if you were binge watching the trilogy. That, now that I call bullshit.

Black color projector screen? What's going on here?
- It's incredibly common to border the project screen with black. https://www.projectorscreen.com/blog/The-Best-Type-of-Projector-Screen-Border

…I AM YOUR KEVIN

92 comments