1y ago

Think anyone would notice?

163 comments

Then I'd be an E.U. citizen? Fuck yeah! Give me two months of vacation!
- My condolences, but Florida immediately voted for Flexit
  
  NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!
  
  I bet they would if you called it that
  
  That sounds like some shit billy mays would have been shilling on tv 15 years ago.
  HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR FLEXIT, THE ALL IN ONE HOME WORKOUT GYM AND CAR BUMPER REPAIR KIT
  
  Watch them join the british commonwealth to help them cope with the decision
- Sweden here we only get 5 weeks vacay. 480 days parental leave though.
  
  People in America and Japan… “‘only’ 5 weeks?!”
  
  So a Mormon couple could get a paycheck without ever working for 30 years?
  
  Don't forget we don't have a limited amount of days were allowed to be sick either.
  
  So, 5 weeks more than we get! That sounds amazing!
  
  Canadian here. I signed a contract with 4weeks of vacation that was changed to 'unlimited' this year. So far I've taken 5 weeks and have a 6th week approved in November.
  I haven't used any sick days but they're unlimited. If you take more than 3 in a row, you need a doctors note.
  15 weeks parental leave that can be split between partners (father can use none/some/all to look after child while mother goes back to work)
  
  My state now has mandatory parental leave, about a year after me and my wife had decided that we didn't want more kids. Oh well. At least people in the future will benefit.
- We don't have 2 months vacation..
  
  Or hyperbole, apparently :(
  Four weeks, two months, whatever, they're both still infinitely more than Americans are guaranteed, which is zero.
- reeeeeee you hate America!!!!!!!!!

Tuscan farmer: that's strange, I don't remember there being a meth lab there...
- The mob would have a field day
  
  Nah, the left Sicily where it was.

So I get rid of the land border with France, but in exchange I get a land border with USA - possibly the only worse country.
Also we lose Sicily and their awesome food and women but we get to keep Sardinia, where the best food is cheese with worms and the best women are one meter tall with moustache.
Bad deal man.
- And remember you get a border with the worst part of the USA, even better!
- At least there's no Corsica anymore (Sardinia but Fr*nch 🤢)
  
  Fam, corsicans are the only ones who hate French more than us, they are welcome to rejoin Italy whenever they want.
- So I get rid of the land border with France, but in exchange I get a land border with USA - possibly the only worse country.
  We're not going to go to all that trouble just to keep the damn place. You get the worst of both worlds: French Floridians!
  
  Sooo... New Orleans?
  
  As a effectively Canadian that just moved to Florida zis is tri bone non
- Knowing very little about the two islands, I find the contrasting descriptions hilarious.
  
  And don’t you wish you kept knowing very little? Instead… https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_martzu

Putting the Vatican below the Bible belt is going to be a disaster
- Nah most of the bible belt are baptists, evangelicals, and people who don't even believe in Christianity but use it as a cover for their fascist bullshit. There is no universe where they would get along with Catholics. Having them be that close to the Catholics would probably result in another protestant vs catholic war.
  
  US Catholics have adapted a lot of the beliefs from the protestant-oriented groups in the US. Try asking Paul Ryan or Rick Santorum if they accept the Vatican's official stance on evolution and watch them squirm. Having the Vatican be right there would be . . . difficult.
  
  It would still be a disaster what ever happens. I never said them getting along would cause said disaster
  
  Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.
- Nah not really, the catholic church loves going below the belt
- Well, the Italian government is going full-on neo-fascist, so it'd probably be a wash, but the food would be so much better!
- I'm into it, and I can see mexico and Cuba being into it as well.

NO GOD PLEASE NO
Being in the EU is like the one good part of the Italian government, if you take that out I guarantee we’ll somehow manage to be even worse neighbors than Florida
- Likewise. Having trump and orban derail EU together is my worst nightmare. Please, keep an eye on your Florida. Don't let it sh1t in my backyard.
- Counterpoint: I want authentic Italian food
  
  Then come to Italy (or rather: go to France or Austria near the border so you can enjoy Italian food without actually dealing with living in Italy)

I live in Georgia USA I've been to FL way too many times Europe doesn't deserve this.
- It's amazing how quickly it turns to shit on I-75 S when you cross the border. You can just feel the nastiness.
  
  Meth production triples in Europe in just weeks of Florida's arrival!

NOBODY wants Florida.
- I grew up in FL and now live in pacific northwest, still not far enough away....
  
  I've never been to Florida. Just the right amount of times
- As someone who lives very close to the new florida location I REALLY don't want florida

Trade Offer:
You receive: Alligators, Meth
You Give: Debt, Mafia
- No one is happy. That is how you know you have reached a compromise.
  https://youtu.be/QSlHXbHKp-0?si=ppRCbYf8lJobrigD
  
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  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
- At least with the Alligators you can negotiate.

No
- I second this. Hell I might even third it.
- Tell me you’re from Europe without telling me you’re from Europe.
  You get what you get, and you don’t get upset!

Why is Italy a penis?

Yes, because the food would be better.
- Fuck you, we're not giving you Italy!

Florida attached to Europe looks mildly like a penis.
- Florida ~~attached to Europe~~ looks mildly like a penis.
  
  Florida ~~attached to Europe~~ looks ~~mildly~~ like a penis.
- Sweden and Finland are literally a penis, balls included
- We don't need that, we already have Scandinavia.

Yes! I don't want Florida in europe!

I really don't know who the biggest losers are in that trade.
- Europe. Florida has flying cockroaches.
- Europe, Italy has some of the best food
- Europe, losing part of the mountains will hurt water and weather
- Definitely Sicily, they get wiped out in this plan... .

Image Transcription:
White text on a black background reading "I have a plan"
Below the text is two images, the one on the left is of the southeastern coast of America with Italy and Cuba in the location of Florida and its Keys, and the image on the right is that of southern and western Europe with Florida and its Keys in the location of Italy and Cuba.
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜 We have a community! If you wish for us to transcribe something, want to help improve ease of use here on Lemmy, or just want to hang out with us, join us at !lemmy_scribes@lemmy.world!]
- good human
  
  Thank you, fellow human 🤖

That would be awesome.. A Mecca for rednecks/Republicans replaced by walkable cities, a nice countryside, vibrant communities, lovely cafes, and awesome pizza. When does the work begin lol
- You take Italy and we sink Florida in the Atlantic. Then it's a deal
- Yeah, but the Balkans have enough problems already and don't need that shit.
  Maybe make it an island?!
- Florida is already attaching floaties to their beaches. It'll be on the way soon!

Well thank you, but no thank you.
We got enough conservatives as it is.
Sincerely
Your would-be neighbour
- This is applicable to both of them, WTF.

Well you see, Florida would have to adapt to EU rules or lose all the EU funding.
And we don't tolerate POS like DeSantis.
So give it time, and it will all settle like it is now.
- You say that, but Berlusconi was Prime Minister of Italy for a long time.

Corsica is now under the sea
- Have to crack some eggs if you want an omelete.
  
  Omelette du fromage

Some weird choices there with Sardinia and Sicily
- And Corsica just vanishes

It's the perfect plan

As someone that lives in Florida, would we go over to Europe or do we stay here in the new Italian location?

An absolute downgrade. No sane person would ever want Fl*rida to replace Italy
- I mean if that means Italy would be closer to me, and florida much much further away I think that would make me sane to want to switch.
  
  And you move that shithole to our continent

just deleting florida would be better

This made me realize that Florida is a penis.

What if you take them off and forget to put them back?
(Sorry for the affected... maybe)
- Maybe we just stick them together in the middle of the Atlantic?
  
  The best plan.

TIL that Florida is basically the same size as Italy. Weird.
- But oddly Italy is a much more attractive land mass. Florida just looks like a limp dick
  
  Complete with jap's eye.
- But italy has a population 3 times higher. And its a place where you actually would want to stay.
- "basically"
  From my rudimentary looking at a map the US would get tiny Italians and we would get 2.5 if not 3m tall Floridians.

Italy going from just a boot, to a boot about to kick Cuba's ass.

now "the florida man who went to malta" will change from a skit into a newspaper headline

No one would be able to tell politically but the food would definitely be different.

This sort of thing always makes me think of this Bugs Bunny scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiTM2HQ0g98
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  https://www.piped.video/watch?v=xiTM2HQ0g98
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  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

Just like flushing America’s toilet

Gonna find out how much crossover there really is between romance languages.

Have fun with the Campi Flegrei
- Why is a shitpost like this the first time I'm reading of this. Why isn't this an issue in european newspapers?
  
  Because it's not news until a catastrophic eruption is imminent, I guess? Same reason geological stuff isn't an issue in west coast American newspapers.
  
  Because it's mostly hyped in pseudo scientific news. Yes it's a super vulcano, there will be some evacuations happening. But no, there will not be a super eruption.