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196 @lemmy.blahaj.zone

kingthrillgore @lemmy.ml

2y ago

You think Jesus ever hit that griddy rule

BONUS MEME: https://youtu.be/cH6e8OK_82E?si=sSBXWWh6nHDIHk3Y

26 comments

It's pretty disrespectful to imply that ace people aren't fully human imo
- asexual ≠ has no sex drive
  
  Asexual = no sexual attraction (I think)
  
  Jesus was a serial masterbator
- The Catholic church isn't exactly the most LGBTQ-friendly organization
- I feel like the ace theory makes the most sense imo

Asexual people are fully human though
- not to catholics

I was about to say asexual people, but catholics don't believe in those

Me, an asexual person: Fuck yeah I'm not fully human
- happy adeptus mechanicus noises

Probably ass: it’s well known that Christ broke up buns into fish to feed the crowd at the sermon on the mount - a subtle metaphor for cumming to the butt

I think Jesus was an eyes guy. He said eyes are the windows to the soul after all.
But then again he might have been a little bit into feet with all the feet washing and everything.

Jesus was known to fraternize with sex workers, and I'm pretty sure someone a sex worker would willingly be friends with is someone who's either not interested or well and good capable enough of controlling themselves that it's not really the same discussion as it would be with others when talking about sexual temptation.
IIRC the story of Jesus experiencing temptation was one of him being tempted with power and/or being freed from some trial of suffering he had found himself in.
Some loveable himbos have the sex drive of an unfixed Chihuahua but still have attempts at seduction bounce right off them until the attempt is then redirected at bribing them with an especially delicious sandwich.
- A good sandwich gets me in the mood, what can I say

He had a big tiddy hooker gf, you can’t tell me Jesus didn’t have sexual temptations
- Insert Robert Langdon speech about the Catholic smear campaigns of Mary.
  ...
  I think Lemmy is an old enough crowd to get the reference, right?

Correct answer: Boobs didn't exist until Eve so obviously ass. Boobs are just front facing asses after all.

The obvious answer, especially for anyone who already believes multiple things can be true at the same time:
"Why not both?"
- I need a Jesus Loves Bimbos sticker, stat.

Maybe he had erectile dysfunction

My impression is he was totally banging Mary Magdalene, and that just was just omitted. If he was like any other popular cult leader, he also got his pick of the young women among the followers.
It would have been regarded as peculiar and noticeable if Jesus didn't partake of the groupies.

26 comments