1y ago

Br(ule)eed

78 comments

"what breed is your cat?"
"he's a stupid asshole is what he is, i love him"

The single brain cell variety.
- Fun fact. The reason orange cats are dumb is actually not inherent to it being orange!
  Turns out it's just that male cats are MUCH more stupid than female cats and orange as a color just so happens to be tied to genes that are unlikely to emerge in female cats.
  That means orange cats are more likely to be male, which makes them stupid.
  The 19% of orange cats that are female, behave perfectly normal
  
  I spent the last half an hour trying to find anything related to different intelligence levels of male and female cats.
  I did not find anything.
  Male cats tend to be more playful and affectionate, but there is no difference in intelligence.
  
  Turns out it's just that male cats are MUCH more stupid than female cats
  Our striped cat begs to disagree, she's about as intelligent as an angry bag of rocks.
  
  Incorrect. Orange cats are dumb because they're stuffed so full of love that there's almost no more room for braincells.
  
  Don't spread false information. Yes orange cats are more likely to be male. No, orange cats are not less intelligent. I've just researched it.
  
  My absolute stupid idiot orange girl disagrees
  
  Gonna need a citation on that claim about male cats being less intelligent
  
  That's not fun, or a fact.
  
  I have an orange cat in the family and I can confirm both that he's stupid and he's male.
  We, however, have several other male cats, they're not all as dumb as our orange boy.... but they're also not orange, soooo. 🤷‍♂️
  
  My boy, fifteen pounds of Bombay or Mandarin Void figured out he could team up with the dog to pressure me for treats. Not brilliant but not a doofus.
  
  Our girl cat is way dumber than our boy cat, but she is also a Siamese cat.
- In my experience it's the orange and white ones you need to watch out for. Orange ones seem to be dumb but dopey, white cats are full of evil chaos but orange and white ones seem to get the chaos part and the dumb part. Just pure undirected non-stop dumb energy lol.
  
  My White Calico wanted to be the lapthing of a Bond villain. I did the best I could.
  
  Wheatley Portal 2 :3

My cat's breeds are whatever breed of cat you find in dumpsters and car engines 🙃
- Standard American Shorthair.
  Bonus points if it's a foundling or feral you just fed until it adopted you.
  
  a foundling
  The shapeshifters from DS9?

I'm among the many who have a Standard Issue Cat.
- The common dumpster cat, if you will 🧐
  
  Yeah we found ours as an older kitten living in the wall of our detached garage, she was pretty feral. It might as well have been a dumpster. Ten years later she's a sweetheart. But she's addicted to catnip treats. I'm an enabler.

jokes on you I have no idea what breed my rescue is, he is the cutest and bestest boi in the world though.
https://imgur.com/OQR9xSQ
- There's something wrong with your cat's face but I think they're cute
- Looks like a very gentle best boi
- I think that breed is known as "cutie".
- Looks like it has some lab in it
- Wow, such a cute pup. Really looks similar to the old guy I lost a few months ago..

No way did you put shlatt there
- No shlucking way

I am no dog owner but who the hell would think thats a husky
- You'd be surprised how many people call all wolf-ish primitive breeds 'huskies'. Everyone in my neighbourhood thinks my dog (profile pic) is a Siberian husky, though it's more understandable since she's a related Siberian breed.
- I've had someone ask me if my corgi was a husky before. Um. No??
  
  How much drugs and/or alcohol were involved?
- A wojak with a troll mask, it seems

Why would a cat's servant care about the breed?
- To know how best to address their majesty
  
  Peasants don't need to know the name of the reigning dynasty they only need to know who's in charge.

The only breeds people mention are ones that are notoriously annoying. Persian, Siamese, Sphinx.
Everything else is based on appearance... tabby, calico, mackerel, "maine coon" (which is often used to describe cats that aren't maine coon)
- Persians are well known for being one of the more friendly breeds. I can't confirm because my family doesn't believe in getting pure breeds
- You forgot tortoiseshell, which is both famously prissy and named after a pattern
- Hey my cat has a genetic mutation that makes him cold all the time in our canadian climate
  Cool, lets breed more of them!
- Chantilly Tiffany, which is every long haired black cat.
- Maine Coons are super cute though. Just saying.
- Tortoiseshells are known for having "tortitude" but aren't really their own breed, its really just a description of their coat
  
  "American short-hair" covers a surprisingly large number of "breeds" that people think are out there.
- Dog breeds are also just appearance tbf
  
  @irmoz Not really, they're also temperament and biological conditions -- like, in many cases, detrimental susceptibility to things like cancer, cataracts, or bone disease. See: Golden retriever