Memes @lemmy.ml

1y ago

Live your best life

150 comments

I have done that before. Its great before and during the cake consumption, but afterwards the regret sets in when your bloated stomach tries to digest the consequences of your actions
- Yah, honestly to me “living your best life” might include not doing that to yourself so that you don’t suffer the consequences of obscene overconsumption.
  The subject is open to constant interpretation.
  
  A whole bag of Cheetos is still acceptable though. They put air where the calories are supposed to hide.
- Did you eat the whole cake in one sitting?
  
  Is there another way of eating cake?
- Yeah I feel like this is one of those things that you'll only ever do once lol
- Nah nah. This is all accurate. However the difference is, you buy it, you eat it, you enjoy the hell out of it.
  Then after dinner, you tell your kids they can have the rest for dessert. And since there’s one piece left, you have the last piece like a hoss. Then it’s gone within a days work, and you can pretend it never happens while the kids think it was the best day ever and it’s a win win situation.

As somebody who used to weigh over 350 pounds, you need to be the thing that stops you. I promise, losing the weight is harder than just not buying that cake in the first place.
- For me gaining weight is harder than losing it. I can eat all of that for myself and didn't gain weight but still got the diabetes for myself
  
  I pray I'm one day able to afford to just go buy a cake for no reason. I might finally be able to gain a pound.
  
  I have found the only way I can not be obese (and I mean the lowest BMI I have had is 24) is the most extreme diets - keto and now carnivore since keto is too hard to stick to
  Though I don't envy you. You have no clear signal that you're eating unhealthily, but suffer the same ill health that us fatties do if you do eat unhealthily
  You need to pump iron and eat protein to gain healthy weight
  
  I think this is true for everyone
  that includes you, the lurker reading this comment
  Edit: oof, guess i struck a nerve.
- It's a cruel joke that life is too short not to enjoy these things, but by enjoying them, you make your life shorter.

As a "European" I never forget that I can just walk around the corner to buy cake because I don't live in a suburban hellhole where I need a car to get food
- Sounds like communism to me
  
  Do they have cake in communism?!
  
  Ebul SeeSeePee
- If I wasn't lazy I would be doomed.
- I can't because I live in a small town.
  But at least I only need to drive ~20 minutes with the bus
- I think cars are cool, but I prefer fire trucks.
  
  Get in your car and go buy yourself a fire truck.
- Uhg, walking. Sounds like work.

Only thing stopping you is your bank account 😆
- I mean, unless it's decorated, cakes are fairly cheap (especially if you compare it to other foods by calories per dollar)
  I'd say the biggest thing stopping most people from doing this regularly is a desire to not get type 2 diabetes lol
  
  I’d argue the biggest thing stopping most people from doing this is laziness. Which is great.
  Even getting to the store to buy a cake is the only way we do it, making one is too much work (for casual bored cake consumption).
  Probably purely the fact that when we go to the store we don’t have store bought cake on the mind, i we don’t buy it.
  
  Eating sugar doesn’t give anyone T2 diabetes. It’s largely a hereditary metabolic disease.

Wait until they figure out they can buy the cake mixes, and it's possible to make your own cakes, with as much extra stuff as you want. I once made a cake with embedded cookies, and a peanut butter cream cheese frosting. I regret nothing.
- How much of a thing is using a cake mix? I bake often but just using simple ingredients that I buy separately, but cake mixes seem to be really popular, especially in the states. Is that true?
  
  For people who arent super into baking they are a cheap, fun activity for an afternoon. Just add water and maybe some oil mix it with a spoon and bake it for the time stated on the box. No need to store or buy excess cocoa, flour, sugar, eggs and so on.
  
  Common in Canada too.
  
  I can, have and do bake cakes without the use of cake mixes. It's not hard, and I normally have most of the ingredients on hand. But cake mixes are very popular, come in a wide variety of flavors/types, and, generally speaking, are pretty good. They're also cheap. And they store well, and efficiently on the shelf or in a cabinet. So it's just super convenient to have one on hand. It also takes like 30 seconds to make. Add water, oil, egg, mix.
- you're mad... have you any idea what you've done??
  
  It's amazing. The cookie dough doesn't cook all the way, so it's like chewy nuggets of cookie goodness.

https://xkcd.com/418
- Hey what's bad with bacon?!
  
  It’s extremely high in saturated fat and salt, and so should be eaten sparingly. That’s not to say it can’t be a part of a balanced diet, but even a small portion provides a huge chunk of your daily requirements for each of those two, as well as for calories.
  Edit: Removed reference to dietary cholesterol, as this has little to no impact on health
  
  Common misconception. People will eat sugary fat free products and think it is a healthy product, but think that bacon will kill them, while in all likelihood it is the other way around.

I watched a girl storm into a supermarket and grab some things.
I later saw her in the parking lot sitting in her pickup truck's bed and going down on a whole rotisserie chicken and a cake.
I think about her all the time.
- I'm not sure you can use "going down on" in that way, but still I feel like I have to meet this woman.
  
  You never deep throated a chicken leg, or licked between the layers of cake just to get to the frosting?

Look at this adult with a car. I bet you even claim to have impulse control too!
- If I stopped buying cakes on a whim I might be able to afford a car.
  
  How do you drive to the bakery to buy cakes without a car?

As a diabetic I grapple with this often. Turns out can and should are very different things :( curse you pancreas. You too mom. Kids don't do drugs with a baby in the womb. Your kids will suffer.
- "kids: don't do drugs with a baby in the womb" is really good advice but kids should not be doing drugs either inside or outside the womb.
  
  Depends on the drug. Kids can have medical issues just like adults can.
  Kids should not be pregnant, however.
  
  I mean, before a certain age there's no kids that do drugs with a baby in the womb. Whose womb? I assume they meant the kid's womb. But if they're able to do drugs with a baby in someone else's womb, who am I to judge such a feat?

And eat a whole supermarket rotisserie chicken on your car just after you bought it. Some call it depression, I call it freedom.
- But a very select few call it .... keto
  
  PSA: Many rotisserie chickens are injected with a sugar solution.
- Using the trunk as a plate? Standing in the parking lot? Yeah that's good living

There's nobody selling cake in my car. What have I done wrong?!
- You need to be driving a food truck
- Unfortunately it's usually not available in the older models.

LOL, just made a comment about watches and came here.
Mid-80's and mom was appalled at the notion of a $30 Swatch when a Timex could be had for $10. No Swatch. ☹
Woke up one Saturday morning, decided I was fucking 50-yo and I could buy a damned Swatch if I wanted to! Bought TWO!
Truly realizing you're an adult is quite freeing. :)
- Was expecting this to go differently... Like a Rolex or something.
- https://a.co/d/7N9eeYa
  Like that? Neat.
  I bought a Tissot and a G Shock. I hated the terrible little watches I had when younger. They always broke after a year or two.
  
  I LIKE that one! I've got Army green ('87), white (new) and a gold one with a leather band (new).
  Gf got me a G Shock a couple of months ago! Much love. Got a better band for it, but that's my outdoor activities watch. Tough, waterproof, suitable for whatever, kayaking, camping, beach, anything.
  Never tried a Tissot. What do you like?
  And yeah, I'm 52. The watches I had as a kid were shit. I remember dad drilling me to take them off to wash my hands. I have that G Shock underwater 3 times a week, and sometimes salt water.

As an "adult" I always remember that this is bad for my health and I have to stop me. Luckily I'm too lazy to get in my car just to buy a cake.

You're also free to get fat and die of a heart attack. It's like nobody cares.
- As much as buying and eating a whole chocolate cake is 100% a bad idea for your health, doing it once is unlikely to have any noticable impact beyond making sure you have horrible shits for a day or so.
  Doing it (or similar) habitually will obviously drastically increase your chances of heart attacks and other issues though of course.
  But if you want to reward your inner 8 year old every once in a while I say do it, too many people make themselves permanently unhappy with dieting. The (much easier said than done) trick is very well known, and it's simple moderation.
  
  Tbh the less sugar I eat, the less I crave it. Even certain fruits can be almost unbearably sweet sometimes
  
  The dose makes the poison. Usually, this is interpreted as referring to an instantaneous dose, but it also applies to culmulatuve doses, which unhealthy eating is one of the most common examples of.

Credit card declines

I wish I could... I can't drive, and I have celiac disease so bad that it has destroyed my gut so much, that even gluten free cakes make me sick.

Why would you need to buy a cake? Everything is a cake nowadays. Just stick your knife into something.
- Wait. My walls. My doors. I've been a man living inside of cake this whole time. Unless...

Well you can, but the consequences of doing so are much worse in adulthood

Overrated. The real perk is learning how to not eat it all at once
- That's the most difficult part of cooking/baking. The serving suggestions!
  
  "What's the suggested serving?" "Yes, serving it is suggested"
- This is why Trader Joe's makes mini cakes.

BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE !!!
- The entire confection!

You already overdrew your account this month and it's not even 2/3 over
- Just sign up for more credit cards.

Eating cake every day makes it less special
- But it makes your medical visits quite special after some time...

Except you might not have a car.
- But maybe you live in a place where you could just walk.

I live in germany, so I cant on sundays, 'cauze everything is closed.
- Cafés are literally one of the only things open on Sundays here, and they sell cake.
  
  And many bakeries also are open for some hours on a Sunday. And the shops at a train station.
- Damn, that sounds more puritan than I would expect from Germany.
  
  Na man. We simply care about getting rest on weekends :)
  
  nah, they're well known for being weird up north about sundays. when they tried it here, the country was united in hatred and a clear will to disregard the whole stupid idea.

Can't afford to do that whenever I want 🥲

The one perk about being an adult is you get to have dessert before dinner!

Except the police
- The cake police

Cake is great for breakfast

Don't limit your self, try subbing out your normal lunch for a "cakewich".

Thanks for reminding me I can buy a cake by myself in college for my birthday

This reminds me of how the guy who first proposed quantum superposition drank and smoked himself to death because he figured nothing mattered
- This cake reminded you? Lol
  
  Yeah like the lack of inhibitions

I see you haven't purchased "The Wife" package.

Your arteries will do you. Eventually. But till then: go for it!

Just had a similar experience with my birthday. Reminded me that I can just buy stuff for myself, so the excitement we had as kids isn't there lol.

I prefer cellular peptide cake with mint frosting tho

get in my car
gross

A wild Snorlax blocks the path...

I don't even like cake that much, except Princess Cake.
If you haven't tried it, you should... It's really nice.

LOL, just made a comment about watches and came here.
Mid-80's and mom was appalled at the notion of a $30 Swatch when a Timex could be had for $10. No Swatch. ☹
Woke up one Saturday morning, decided I was fucking 50-yo and I could buy a damned Swatch if I wanted to! Bought TWO!
Truly realizing you're an adult is quite freeing. :)
- This is me except going to the store seeing it for 100, going I ain't paying that!!! And going home sad.

Bake a cake, have a slice, and sell the rest to charity. It's more cost effective, less expensive, and allows one to further the use of the phrase "sell it to charity". Triple win

One of the best things about being adult, you can eat your dessert before dinner.

Your wrong, cause theirs diabetis
- you can still buy a cake. the meme didn't say anything about eating it
  
  Why would you buy a cake and not eat it? Unless it's for someone else, but it's said in this that it's fir op.

150 comments