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how does my "neighbor" hear my private telephone conversations.

This is completely strange, and very long. I've exhausted all my ideas, and need fresh ones.

Some background.

  1. my neighbor is old, very very old. Also, they are not very mobile. So something like creeping up to the window and listening in is out of the question. Although, a very long time ago (decades) they did used to hang out near an air condition vent, listening to our in person conversations.
  2. when I say neighbor, I mean they live in a small house connected by a breezeway to my house. I do admit they are rather close. Yes I do have access to thier house.
  3. i have no real idea of thier level of technological expertise. They are pretty manipulative so even though I'm under the impression they're very limited on expertise, it's possible they know more than they let on. Let's just say at this point, they say they have difficulties placing calls to thier saved contacts on thier jitterbug flip phone, but when your not looking they're already on the line with someone, like five seconds after you walked out the door. As far as we know they do not have access to the internet, but who knows. They do know how to navigate to at least a limited number of websites though. (Slight fear of them seeing this post, haha)
  4. they digest far right media. This in itself doesnt seem relavent, but I suppose, in my head, this might be able to give them awareness of the types of technology that one might use to pull something like this off.
  5. It is remotely possible that someone could have installed something inside the house maybe about 15-20 years ago, and given the neighbor access to it.
  6. they are on a limited income, and are not independently wealthy. Any technology would have to be no only easy to use, but on the less expensive side as well.

So... Maybe about once a year for the past few years a topic or phrase that was talked about over the phone would come up in conversation the next day. Not a big deal, written off as coincidence. That's just how it goes sometimes. Well now, we've had a falling out. For the past few weeks they have brought up many private conversations I have had over my cell phone with at least 2 different people. They repeat not just what I say, but what the person on the other end of the phone says as well. I say, "Man, im pretty sure they're hearing my phone calls." The other person says, "Maybe there's a bug somewhere." The next day they start to prattle on about...a bug on the wall. But not a real bug...oh what do you call those things...you know, bugs that know things. Or I say "I'm worried about this escalating." The other person jokingly says "Oh, don't eat or drink anything from them, unless they take some first.. They may try to kill you." The next day neighbor is handing me a concoction they've made. "Oh, I've just sat down with this mixture I've created for my health. Everything I put in it is sitting on the counter there. (Cue various herbal supplements / tinctures) here have the first sip... it's not going to kill you." They are bringing up / creating situations centered around private converstaions from the night before. They may skip a day or two here and there, but it's a pretty regular occurrence.

Something worth mentioning, is that while im on the phone call, I will turn on my Bluetooth and use my earbuds. Everytime the buds connect, the call drops, and we have to call each other back. I figured I was pushing a button wrong or something and hanging up. But since the neighbor has gone somewhere, we have not been able to replicate the situation.

Things we have tried but have since been disproven:

  • At first we thought we were leaving windows open and they could just hear it...but all windows were closed.
  • maybe they can hear through the walls somehow, they are thin. But its never been a thing before. (why would they have to hang out by aforementioned vent, then) We blast the radio real loud and see how much we can hear from neighbors porch. Can't make out exact words and doesn't explain hearing the other person.
  • well thier radio automatically connects to iPhones ( un-updated iphone from the air drop debacle/ f-ed up feature of the radio involving nfc and bluetooth) and it did pair with my phone at some point. Maybe they can the other person over thier radio. But we tried to make it work and just cant replicate it.
  • we've checked obvious places for a walke talkie looking receiver. Nothing.
  • we've used one of those cheap bug detectors off Amazon and checked the house...and the vent. No wires comming out of strange places as far as we can tell.

I'm at my wits end. What could they be using and how can I stop it? It maybe all a coincidence, but then its as much so as Facebook / Google targeted ads that arent listening your conversations. I mean, what, are they an advanced algorithm that can guess what your thinking based on all available data on you?

Help! And thank you for taking the time. Also, sorry about the format / spelling getting all this out on mobile is tough.

TL:DR. My really old neighbor seems to hear my both sides of cell calls to at least 2 different people. Is there simple, rather cheap technology put there that they could be using. And how do i go about finding it / making it stop.

115 comments
  • Go by elimination, the first thing I would do is reset the phone and don't pair it to any bluetooth device. Also change the WiFi password and the router admin password with strong randomly generated passwords.

    Then keep going as usual and see if something changes.

    When you said you used a bug detector, was it a radio frequency analizer? Did you check while doing a phone call, a bug that is not transmitting wouldn't be detected.

    Do the people you talk with or someone living with them know your neighbour? Maybe the leak is on the other end.

    If the houses share an air conditioning system maybe try closing off the vents.

    I know you are sure of your experiences but have you checked your physical and mental health? A few mental conditions could make coincidences turn into paranoia, but even a few simple physical conditions like carbon monoxide poisoning and maybe even vitamin deficiency could loosen your grip on reality . Has someone else witnessed first hand these events?

    • So, it's the neighbors mental condition that's taken the dive. They left to get help. It is indeed possible some of thier crazy rubbed off on me, but it really is eerie. They did actually state a couple times that theyve heard us talking or laughing or whatever. We blew it off at first cause...yeah, ok. you HEARD us...the second time they said it, we already had our suspicions.

      At this point we eliminated what we thought the cause was (that damn radio) since there wasnt anything new for the few days until they left. I'm not opposed to the idea that maybe the last one was actually a coincidence, (which would be a relief) we can't really test out any theories until they get back home, we were just hoping to get rid of the culprit before hand, so as not to cause any further distress.

      The detector we used was a rf/gps/infrared scanner. We did not use it during a call, only after. I figured something like that was always transmitting, but why would it be if it wasnt actively being used. This is helpful. Thank you.

      The vents are not actually connected. The vent leads to an area outside that is easily accessible by people, and is mostly out of sight unless you go out of your way. But we've been looking at that area since it was a problem before.

      The other people I talk to are my support system. One has limited contact with the neighbor and the other really has next to no contact at all, so im positive they're not leaking any information to them. The person with limited contact has also been witness to this. They live away from the property.

      Thank you for the ideas, I learned something new today.

  • Sorry if this posted a million times jerboa said network error but turn off your bluetooth. Some hearing aids connect via Bluetooth.

  • Do they have a hearing aid, or one of those hearing enhancers?

    That would be my guess. Cheap Bluetooth devices are creepy, I have a $2 pair of ear pods from Ali and it somehow automatically connected to my wife's iPhone the other night and I was able to pause and even change the music she was sleeping to. That all happened by accident (she was not happy), so I totally could see that happening.

  • On modern smart phones ther are some accessibility settings for hearing aid connection that iirc connects automatically to hearing aids that support the feature. It's not always using Bluetooth. The non Bluetooth variants are pretty low range I think but Bluetooth is also used for the same features. Go to you phone settings and see if you accidentally enabled something like "hearing enhance" "hearing aid enhance" etc.

  • Don't use Bluetooth for a while and see what changes. Turn it off, tell your partner on the phone that you lost your earbuds and see if the neighbor offers you theirs.

  • Have a phone call about how you're going to kill your nosey neighbour if he listens to your phone calls again

  • I don't have any more helpful advice besides what the others said but I am very interested in hearing how this goes. I hope you can get some peace of mind!

  • Bluetooth doesn't make much sense, as you usually only have one device active. But you can easily rule this out: If you have Android for example, long press the Bluetooth button, then check paired devices. Is there any device you don't recognize? Remove it. Done.

    Bluetooth is usually encrypted, so if you didn't accidentally pair your device with your neighbor's there is no way they can listen in.

    And even more important: Check for carbon monoxide in your home. You might be having health issues and are hallucinating or making things up.

    Besides that: It might be possible your neighbor hears you talking on the phone (through the walls for example or with a bug in your home), but there is absolutely no way they'd hear the other side of the conversation. So either your side alone would already give them all the information or something else is up (see above).

  • Does your neighbor use a hearing aid? It wouldn't surprise me. These devices can connect to Bluetooth. I would take the advice already posted about resetting the Bluetooth connections to your phone.

115 comments