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Memes @lemmy.ml

Merlin13245 @lemmy.world

1y ago

Survival at stake

65 comments

Y'all need more fiber in ya life
- My toilet paper is already practically a pillow, how many more fibers do you want?
  
  It has to go through you!!!
- I have IBS. Might as well ask us if we've tried yoga.
  
  Well, have you?
- Also water. If you eat a bunch of fiber without water... believe it or not, also constipation.
  
  A person of experience eh
- No, he needs a squatty potty. I can’t believe nobody else in these comments has mentioned them.
  
  Fuck, I forgot what a cult following those weird things have.
  
  No they need fiber and water if they are struggling.
- And how do you deal with corn then? 🌽
  
  Wash it off and toss it in the next pot of chili!
  
  Corn? I don't remember eating corn!
- I don't think that's going to help the lactose intolerance and potential IBS.
- This is more like has an intense case of food poisoning or something rather than a regular BM.

WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR
- That's right, show that turd who's boss!
- Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.
- (since nobody seems to know, this is a scene from the Prisoner, which is what "who does #2 work for" is a reference to)
  
  I'm pretty sure this is a reference to Austin Powers, where he's giving the Irish hitman a swirly in a casino bathroom and yelling "WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR" while a gambler played by Tom Arnold in the next stall is trying to encourage him on.
  
  That's not my bag, baby
  
  I AM NOT A NUMBER. I AM A FREE MAN!
  
  Deep cut! I first heard of and saw that show in college. It's great!
- Vegans. Plants = Fiber.
  Animal products have no fiber.
  
  Some people are blessed with normal bowel movements with average amounts of fiber. We participate in a CSA so have dozens of pounds of veggies every week. Every meal is veggie heavy. My body doesn't care, it's a lazy ass.
  
  Animal products can have fiber if it is either forcemeat like chicken and apple sausages but on its own only plant foods have dietary fiber

When you take your pants off mid-shit, you know it’s a life or death situation
- Or when you preemptively take off your shirt.

Wait a sec... Is it me or did he forget to open the lid on the toilet?
- That's the fighting part
- That's just the seat.

That's why we call it bathroom.
- Speak for yourself.
  I call it Badezimmer but for similar reasons

psyllium.
capsules.
- I am convinced that of all the secrets of the world that the elder generations hadn’t passed onto us…taking a fiber supplement is the biggest improvement to daily life.
- Bananas are great too
  
  True. Went to a farmers market and bought a bunch cuz they were cheap. Stupid ass me decided to eat then and there. Thirty minutes later I was blowing red lights to try to reach a safe place to drop der UberDeuce. I swore that the toilet was screaming at me for a week after that

I once was really tired in a mall and went to the (public) toilet just to sit my ass down and hide from people.

Can confirm. Have Crohn's.
- Can confirm. Have Crohn's, and I just stopped at home in the middle of my route because I couldn't hold it anymore...
- Yeah, I have celiac and all I think when people reference epic toilet struggles is “hmm, either you don’t eat any fiber or… you may have a serious health problem”

Im in this exact position while reading this.

I’ve had about three number twos in my life where I’ve literally started to feel faint, sweating profusely, and expelling non-solid matter.
It could be fibre or it could be all the pain meds I was abusing, suffice to say it’s not fun.

Because you won't eat your fresh veg.

Take the corn OFF the cob next time dumbass

Oh that's exactly my position the morning after a "Hot ones" evening!

Its not called a restroom because of that, silly...

65 comments