What personally transformative experience have you recently had?
For those who might ask "What does that even mean?", this is what I'm reading that triggered the question: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/transformative-experience/
Recent can mean the most recent you can remember, even if it was years ago. Interested in what y'all might say.
New job that's WFH if you want.
I can now see my kid every day, stop wasting annual leave for a delivery or CBA days. I can keep on top of chores while working.
I don't get paid any more but I'm spending less and more importantly I'm gaining back time and seeing my family.
It's made me happier, more fulfilled and a better dad.
Some of my office mates worked from home during COVID and their complaint was that is always felt like they were at work because of it and that separating work life from home life was difficult. Do you find that to be true?
For many people, it helps to have a “work place” at home. I don’t have any space for an office but I realized we never use the dining room so I set up an office there. Now the Dining room is “work” and i goto a different room when I’m “home”
No. Mainly because it's flexible and I still do come into the office 2-3 days a week on average and when at home I have strict boundaries, I work set hours, take a lunch and switch off at the end of my "shift".
When I've got busy days or meetings I'll still come into the office. The flexibility is the key benefit. Finish early, go in late, pick up the kids, go home to collect a parcel, stay at home if I had too many beers etc.
It is a nice change in a lot of cases - getting that commuting time back can be a game changer, particularly if you have kids.
Do agree with the other person about it being a double-edged sword (I'm definitely in the 'it's kind of isolating' camp) - though at the same time it can serve as a push to creating more connections outside of work.
(Though some of us, myself included, don't really respond to the push I guess).
Good answer! I'm glad this is working for you!
Yeah I can see the double edged sword. I guess "WFH if you want" is doing some heavy lifting in my reply. My best friend is permanant remote with no office and lives alone and I bet it's isolating. Where as I have kids, wife and a shit tonne of chores so I don't get the same isolation issues but I could definitely see some instances where it could be an issue.
I think the hybrid model is perfect. I'll go to the office for important meetings, so I don't have distractions and can truly get in the zone.
Kinda disingenuous to your employer to spend your billed hours doing chores around the house tbh
As opposed to sat on lemmy at work or at the tea machine? My downtime and output isn't changed, but rather than being forced to make small talk or sat staring into space when I want 5m, I can do stuff around my house.
Found the middle-manager
I had neurosurgery to correct brain stem compression. I regained the ability to walk without weakness and tremors and to function in general.
I had to fight my insurance company for months because they denied my first surgery due to their perceived lack of "medical necessity."
The USA I assume
That's. Fucking. Amazing (not the insurance company, fuck those guys).
I'm stoked you were finally able to get the necessary treatment! Sounds like a tough fucking road, but you made it! Congrats!!
I worked for basically a cult.
It taught me invaluable lessons about humanity and how easily people can be manipulated. Now anyone who has that “influencer” atmosphere about them is persona non grata to me.
Definitely some lessons to be learned in that environment - sheesh. No matter how bright you think you are, EVERYONE can be manipulated. All it takes is the right set of conditions and the right stimuli.
I hope you got out unscathed, and not too cynical.
All it takes is the right set of conditions and the right stimuli.
I agree with this completely. It was like the Milgrim experiment where all of a sudden you’d wake up and realize you and the people around you are completely different than you thought. Luckily the spell did break.
Cynical af now, but I try to redeem the past by not contributing to or permitting those environments anymore.
I appreciate the well-wishes, though. Getting better all the time 👍
Going to the psychiatrist and getting medicated 💊
Happened a year ago, after i almost made an attempt on my life, my parents took me to a doctor that gave me a couple of meds that i've been taking ever since.
They made me feel nauscious and ill at first, but a couple of weeks after, i felt refreshed, i was sleeping well, and i was (slowly) feeling better emotionally.
I'm fine now, and my dosis is now minimal compared to what i started with. Now i have a better support group and meds if my body decides not to produce the necessary neuro-chemicals i need to endure the hardships of life. 🧠 (Seriously, the human body is sometimes really stupid).
I'm thrilled you've made it to a good place! Getting help can be tough - so many people just don't - and I'm glad your parents were able to help you get rolling on that.
Nothing wrong with better living through (responsible) chemistry if your own neurochemical reserves are stingy.
Hiking across Ontario. Go dive balls deep into nature. Safely and responsibly, of course.
Niiice. I'd love to hear more details - where was your favourite place/experience on the trail? Are you talking just going for hikes more often weekend warrior style, or is there some through-hiking involved here?
One of my bucket list items (I have a very small, not too hard to fill bucket) is through-hiking the Rideau Trail from Ottawa to Kingston. So far, I've gotten as far as Kanata...from the trail starting in Nepean.
(To those outside of Ontario, this is about a 20-25 minute drive, without leaving the Ottawa area)
Bruce Trail. Started in Niagara weekend warrior style. Just putting in as many as I can one weekend at a time. One marathon ended at my literal front door. That was a special hike. I'm 250 km in and am utterly enraptured with it.
Picking a favorite part is really REALLY hard to do. Each hike is unique and finds new ways to make me fall in love. The trail turns and you get gobsmacked by something you never expected. Over and over again
psycadelics
Lol, me too my friend, me too. If you don't want to it's cool, but could you expand on that?
Started dating for the first time, experiencing genuine love for the first time, and breaking up and experience genuine sorrow for the first time about two years ago.
And cats. I adopted cats.
Genuine sorrow hurts, but my god if it isn't a fascinating and powerful state. It's 100% transformative, in a good way, if you allow it to be. Sorrow and the journey back, imo, is a vital trial in human development, all the more interesting because it's truly universal. The risk is so hardening yourself against pain that it's detrimental, the prize is a deeper capacity for empathy.
To love, and to lose, and to find your way back to love again - it doesn't feel this way in the slough of despond*, but on the other end and with some time it's a beautiful thing.
(*General statement - if you want to think more on this whole transformative experience thing in general, you could do worse than reading The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. If you're vehemently anti-Christian you'll need to replace Yahweh, Sky Wizard (tm) with your own conceptions, but the allegory itself still provides some palatable food for thought)
Something has always been wrong with my brain. When I was a kid it was called "ADD", somewhere along the line they added an "H". Various medications were tried when I was younger to try and combat this, but they either didn't help or would cause other more serious problems. As a kid nobody had to tell me not to do drugs, because the drugs given to me made me feel terrible and I couldn't understand why anyone would WANT to feel like that. A little later on in life I got drunk a few times, and that wasn't fun either.
A few years ago, my wife got her medical marijuana card. Because my wife and I are two halves of a whole idiot, whatever she tries I'm going to try as well. She gave me a gummy with 10mg of THC in it.
Suddenly, I could decide what to pay attention to.
That seems minor, doesn't it? But I want you to imagine: you've struggled with everything for your entire life. You have to force yourself to do anything at all, even if it's interesting. And then one day a beautiful woman gives you a small piece of candy and it's like a switch was closed, and now I could just decide what to focus on. Laundry? Washed, dried, folded, and put up. I can keep the house clean. I can focus on things at work. And the really cool part, is I don't have to take so much that I'm high to get the power of divine focus.
In fact, I don't have to take it at all, because one of the things I like to do is figure out how stuff works, and it's worse when I'm high. One night I decided to sit down and look inwards to see if I could make my mind cooperate with me without needing THC, and I was able to. I can sort of function as a contributing member of society now. I haven't missed a bill for years. My credit score went from 500 something to mid 700s. I don't get mad at stupid stuff anymore. My home life was pretty good before, but now my wife and I get along so well that if I were to tell everyone how we are with each other, it would sound made up because it's too good to be true.
Finding the perfect partner after all of my strange or toxic relationships I’ve ever had. Married now, together for an eternity, never had a fight. They’re perfect.
Also the one time I did WAY too much K. I’ve done everything but opiates, I’ve broken through on DMT multiple times, I THOUGHT I had known ego death… not even close. It was like a reality-curtain was pulled back and I was seeing, feeling, and knowing things that aren’t meant for humans. It was terrifying. Well, once I could feel again it was.
I haven’t done it since. That was like four years ago.
D'aww. A good partner certainly changes your perspective on things. It's amazing when you mesh with another human so much that you decide "So I'm just going to be around you forever so we can grow into something incredible together".
Lol, K has always scared the shit out of me - but it can certainly be a transformative experience!
Adopting a cat. I don't know how I managed to live without her.
Getting a social worker.
They're like small, bratty but loveable children you don't need to start a college fund for. Definitely game changers for many.
I'm glad your were able to get assistance from a social worker, no matter what the circumstances were.
Dodo isn't even all that bratty. She has her own baggage. We just fit together well.
And seriously the social worker! Without them I wouldn't have moved, I wouldn't have household help for being chronically ill and currently they are fighting tooth and nail to get my name legally changed. Among with all the other everyday red tape germany is so fond of. And there's still loads more to address eventually.
Shrooms. Started tripping, and within a month I actually was beginning to handle my depression, anxiety, subsequently got a good paying job (was burnt out for around a year after college), feel pretty decent about life, and am still kind of going through some aspects and improving my life. I kind of am of the opinion that if you you don't have to worry about psychosis, trip at least once in your life (I've become that friend that recommends drugs, but for a reason). For some people, that can make an amazing amount of difference either in their personal life, or how they actually react to others. The biggest takeaway I got was how to actually listen to other on more than a just surface level without really trying.
Psychedelics can be a game changer, for sure!
I've dabbled - and I am happy to say one lasting benefit is the little voice that said "God I wish I could just shoot myself right now", several times a day, for years, is gone.
Integration is key, though - but it sounds like you've got that on lock. Life's the real trip, but tripping can help remind you of that (at least, sometimes, for a lot of but not all people).
Oh, absolutely. It took a bit until the tripping actually got the whole integration of the experience down. I actually went to interview for my current job about 2 days after a trip, still had that sense of perspective and it made it a much easier experience where I was able to keep myself rather calm, and I suspect that might have been one of the things that made everything work out in the end. Just to note, I'm not saying the psychodelics will solve all of your problems (still fixing quite a few I made over the last year while severely depressed), but they will often help you stay on the right track.
I got my very first pet 2 years ago: a cat. She's shy, selfish, whiny, sometimes annoying and yet, I love this creature. I see why some people compare pets to kids because this is what unconditional love must feel like.
Starting to meditate
Thank you for the reminder that I need to get back to the mat. At very least, I can say for myself that even aftet dropping the habit, the skill of stopping, recognizing a feeling or thought I'm having, and just observing it before letting it dictate my actions has been so. fucking. helpful. And hasn't gone away yet, thank god!
Would love to hear about your practice and what it has changed for you, if you feel like talking about that.
My wife told me she'd leave me if I kept drinking and driving so i.... dropped that removed 🤣 sorry honeybuns, but BEER COMES FIRST 🍺🥴🍺