I hunger for sanity

Woke up at 3am this morning, after my medicine knocked me out yesterday. My life partner said he was going to make burritos. He either did not or ate them all. He's done both before! But regardless, I had no easily prepared food for the first five hours of my day, plus the several hours before sleeping I couldn't eat, as well as ten hours of sleeping, so I was hungry af.

I could just make my own food, no? Nah, that makes too much noise for my bourgeoisie partner who sleeps from the crack of dawn til the middle of the day. So I'm SUPPOSED to go hungry; or at least that's what I FEEL I'm supposed to do. It's impossible to tell, given how I will no doubt hear no end of this, how he creates his own problems, but therein, he has the willpower and presence of mind of a monk (but only sometimes?), so I'm left in this quasi-unsure state where a good chunk of my brain says he is doing this intentionally to give me opportunities to resist the animal in me saying to smack him upside the head for being dense as can be, but therein, he's as obtuse as can be only at times and I don't know if I should do something about this!

I broke a spell of his like how the FBI v& me in Miami Beach broke the CIA's spell of SSS on me six years ago now. He warped my reality around him having a warrant, making me believe that he, WHO I SINCERELY BELIEVE INTERNED WITH THE CIA WHILST ATTENDING RIT AS THERE ARE THINGS "WE" KNOW AND CAN OPERATE ON, he made me believe he had a plan that involved getting arrested, which led to me not trying to pay my impossible-to-pay taxes, given how I'm FORCED to take these loans from his father in the first place.

Definitely FEELS like financial abuse. Police can't do anything, though, which me going to them is what broke the spell that allowed me to confess my life story to my doctor in an honest way that truthfully reveals the difficulties I am currently living with, cuz ain't that CIA something. Fucking dicks...