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    • Stop declining when people invite you to stuff.
    • Stop being picky about activities/food/music/etc.
    • Be vigilant/safe, yet open minded, open to new experiences, spontaneous.
    • Plan trips and events, both budget friendly and splurgy, then actually commit to doing them.
    • Smile and laugh n shit.
    • Compliment people, thank people, be considerate to others even if it's not always reciprocated.
    • When it is reciprocated, gravitate more towards that person, and gravitate slowly away from people who don't seem to appreciate you.
  • Volunteer

    • This is what I found worked best for me. Having a shared commitment to something even if it's only for an hour helps keep things on track and reduces any social anxiety that comes up for me.

    • I'm not a "go-getter" and am pretty sure I'd be shunned for not being ambitious enough even at like a soup kitchen or whatever the hell people volunteer at

      • They literally just need people to show up and do basic things. As long as you aren't creating a disturbance, I can't see there being any issues.

  • Exposure pretty much. Meaning get out there, join some groups, talk with people at work or anywhere you spend a good amount of time at, and see who you connect with. Be curious but not invasive.

  • You can be social and go to events but that only helps you meet people, it doesn't mean you'll make friends. I've recently moved, first year I was completely alone because I thought that eventually someone would come up to me. Most people are like that. They're passive and expect friendship to pop out of thin air. I put together a basic strategy and now I have 2 friends I hang out with and a few acquaintances. Here it is, hope it helps.

    • Most people are just as socially isolated as you. Lots of people are the passive partner who won't initiate but they still want to make more friends. Covid-19 fucked everything up so this is actually the best time to make new friends if you can approach people.
    • Pick someone you're interested in and introduce yourself. It can be anyone and for any reason. My best friend of 10 years only became my friend because I sat next to him in 1st grade lunch. You don't need a reason to talk to someone. Talk to people you aren't interested just to get the feel for conversation, older folks work great as they're low risk and just happy to have a conversation.
    • Talk to this person every time you see them. Basically, pretend you're already friends with this person. Ask them about their weekend, what their job is, and how they got into whatever it is you're at. Start with 2-3 minute small talk and gradually make your way to longer conversation.
    • Repeat these interactions for about a month.
    • If you like them, say you're going to see a movie or whatever other activity and ask if they'd like to join you. Invite them to something you're already doing, even if you'd only do it to invite them. It puts less pressure on both you and that person.
    • If they say yes, you've pretty much made a friend. All you need to do is keep the inertia up by scheduling a recurring event. Best case scenario, they invite you to a bar group and now you can make more friends by proxy.
    • If they say no, go to the event anyway and try to talk to someone. If it wasn't an outright refusal then you can try again. If they don't take the second invitation, pull back and focus on someone else. Put the ball in their court and see what happens.
    • Repeat until you have friends.

    A lot of the advice other posters give is great for meeting people. But it implies that you're already able to turn a meeting into a friend. You'll probably suck at it for the first 3 months as you flex your conversation muscles, don't worry about it. It's a long-term process and it will get easier. Oh and of course modify the advice to suit your situation.

  • I saw a shirt sometime saying something like "At a certain age, you have to give birth to new friends." While it wasn't exactly like that, we made a lot of friends through our kids and their schoolmates or sports activities.

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