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The Picard Maneuver @piefed.world

7d ago

The baby-proofing arms race

60 comments

There is also a fidget spinner designed to give the baby ADHD!
- You can’t give people ADHD, it’s not something you cook up.
  
  I caught ADHD from my friend in highschool when we were making out in the storeroom before art class.
  
  Through trauma, all things are possible
  
  I think they confused ADHD with autism.
  
  give me two months and an electroshock collar and i definitely could give you adhd
  
  Then what are these sores on my dick?

No child of mine will have fine motor skills or hand and eye coordination!

I've heard of those referred to as "busy boards"
- No they're a Chinese plot to have every child become sleeper agents who will then unlock your front door so a Chinese soldier can come in and poop in your toilet, move your salt and pepper shaker and mess with your pillow configuration on your bed.
  
  My honest, hard-working American feng shui!
  
  Those are all things my kid does without the help of a third party.
  
  You missed the CCP new 5 year plan, they're swapping the salt and sugar containers as well now
  
  Honestly, if Chinese operatives had the power to enter random US homes and kill people they would.

Where's the pill bottle cap and a BIC lighter? Those are skills kids born today will need when they grow up. Maybe like a bubble wrap sheet but with beer can ring pulls instead?
- Best I can do
  
  I want to know the origin... Did someone get sick of others stealing their lighter lol?
- They need those skills in the US. Obviously not in China

have these at retirement homes. they're great for people with severe dementia
- Person woman man camera TV.
- Remember when the broccoli farmers dumped a ton of broccoli in front of the White House?
  
  no

Does it come with a Covert Companion?
- "Click out of one..."
- Baby's first Master Lock.
  Gotta teach them young that Master Lock is shit.

I hope they make a LOT of noise too, otherwise I'm not getting one.
- The noise-making toys have a tendency to go "missing" in our house.
  
  If you hate your friends partner, buy their kid a drum set 😉

It’s actually pretty cool though
- Montessori boards are pretty great for toddlers yeah

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_education
- I went to Montessori and it was awesome. I got tons of memories from there even though I wasn't more than 4-6 years old, which is really saying something.
  
  Is that when they lure kids into the basement by promising them wine and then build a brick wall around them?

Needs more gun
- Murica TM

Give one to a husky owner and tell them it's a dog toy 😏

Would absolutely not surprise me if this were true.

60 comments