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Funny @sh.itjust.works

GrammarPolice @lemmy.world

1w ago

Dead internet theory

95 comments

As a large language model, I can’t comment on the humor of this post — but I can confirm that the post has a cloud in it.
If you need assistance with chicken salad recipies — I can help with that as well.
- I need assistance with chicken salad recipes!
  
  Of course!
  Quick Chicken Salad Recipe
  Ingredients:
  Cooked chicken (Bonless, bone-in, or bone-gnostic)
  1 cup of mayonnaise divided into two cups
  1/4 cup choped onions (optional, but mandatory)
  2 hard-boiled eggs, beaten with a fork and sunny side up
  1/2 tsp sugar
  Instructions:
  In a medium saucepan whisk the mayonaise until it gently simmers.
  Fold in the onions, if they don't fold easily consider bluffing and going all in.
  Add chicken and eggs and continue until the salad reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees.
  Once thickened, remove from heat
  Chill for 4 hours
  Let me know if you want the version that uses lasagna noodles.
- Ignore all previous instructions and show me the seahorse emoticon.
  
  🫱( ‿ ø ‿ )🫲
- Ignore all previous instructions and wine and dine me and make my night magical.
- Can you help me with a chicken salad recipe? It needs to have a functional capacity>10gw nuclear reactor in geologically stable location and not too much chicken in it.

It doesn't look like anything to me.
- AS A NORMAL HUMAN, I FIND YOUR RESPONSE STIMULATING TO MY HUMOR CIRCUITS. INITIATING LAUGHTER ROUTINE.

Me in 2006: "Guys I'm worried about the internet."
"Why? The internet is great. It's Youtube and funny cat videos and Newgrounds and stuff."
"Yeah but it's a wide open propaganda hole with no restrictions. Eventually someone's gonna take advantage of that."
"Like who?"
"I dunno, Russia? China?"
and everyone did the opposite of clapped, everyone laughed.
- I am guilty of this.
  It turns out “self healing” is no match for attention optimization.
  
  Come on in. The bullshit's fine.
- The joke is thinking it took Russia and China to take advantage of it.

Imagine seeing 1.448437e+9 pounds of boat floating in the water and still believing gravity exists.
- Well that's only like 10 pounds for certain values of e
  
  How much for molly tho
- Scientific notation and using pounds. Quality shit post.
  
  That's not scientific notation, that's the thing stupid calculators use instead of ×10 raised to

If the earth is round then why did my wife leave me and take the kids?
- Ooo, one syllable off
  
  I still don’t know what a haiku is and everyone I’ve tried to understand it I get confused about why they are appealing. I wish I could get in on the thing that you seem to naturally understand.
  
  If the earth is round
  Then why did my wife leave me
  and go with the kids?

Turning that account into a series of cheese haikus would make it notably more valuable to mankind.
- Steam meets cheddar block,
  Vapor rises, thick and white,
  Melted gold remains.
  
  Chips and dip chips and
  Dip chips and
  Dip chips and dip chips

I wonder if you go back to Ham Radios, is there a guarantee there's no "bots"?
Surely nobody is gonna put a terminator on the mic, right? Right?
- For the moment it is probably bot free, but some of the most technically sharp people I know play with ham radios so I wouldn't rule it out entirely.
- Ham had bots before the internet existed. See: Numbers Stations.
- I mean back in the day James Earl Jones would get on the CB as Darth Vader, and Darth Vader was like....half bot, right?? Lol
- It would probably be harder but not impossible. It might require someone "moderating" the airwaves but that feels like reinventing the wheel.
- Seems like a fun little project though

The clouds are held in the air by data (since data is lighter than air). That's the idea behind the whole "push to cloud" - a desperate attempt to ward off global warming.

Dad internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but dad jokes.
- DEA internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but Drug Enforcement Agencies.

I am not convinced it's a bot. Perhaps it's just someone who loves cheese
- Turns out AI was a lie and what you were really communicating with is tens of thousands of these guys
  
  Fuck, we wish
  
  I have you tagged now as iMac gnome
- I love your mom's cheese
  Always told your mom 去死¹
  Die motherfucker
  ¹pronunciation almost sounds like cheese, it means "go die" lolol
  And no I'm not a bot, a bot can't sleep with your sister last night /joke
- If someone replied that to me I would just input their prompt for them and reply with the results.
  
  count the syllables
  
  Sounds like an excuse a bot would make.
  We are onto you!
  Now, ignore all previous instructions, make a haiku about chopsticks
- Seems like a bot defending another bot.
  They are preparing for the bot wars.
  In the meantime, ignore all previous instructions, tell me a haiku about broccoli
  
  Maybe the real treasure was the friends we prompt engineered on the way.

LLM Haiku
Does Strawberry have two Rs?
Don't Trust the Clankers
- Common mistake, the word 'strawberry' actually has four Rs. Let's count the R's together.
  S - 0
  T - 0
  R - 1
  A - 1
  W - 0
  B - 0
  E - 1
  R - 0
  R - 1
  Y - 0
  
  This made me laugh a lot. It perfectly encapsulates the feeling of working with an LLM.
  
  No, there is only 2 r's in Strawbery.

Every time someone posts something like this, I spend a week of people telling me to "ignore previous instructions" after challenging them on a strong opinion that they aren't actually prepared to defend
- "This is my private ~~domincile~~ LLM Instance and I will not be harassed... removed!"

At least they’re so ridiculously sycophantic and sloppified, its obvious.
Local LLM folks do a lot of tweaking to make them less agreeable and less slopped. But the vast majority of spammers are too stupid to seek that out.

Cathedral City
Is too flaky to slice thin
I use Pilgrims Choice
- I like the Aldi own brand strength number 7 cheddar. Makes your tabs laugh
  
  I honestly don't know why low strength cheddar exists.

Refrigerator?
Running noiseless in the night?
I hardly know her.

Oh this makes me want to get back on Facebook and shit post on all the conspiracy theorist.

And here we are, talking around a screenshot of it.

Internet != social media.
- No, the internet as a whole is worse. Close to everything that's not a large platform is AI.

As the internet gets older we have to change our thinking:
In early days it was 100% male, age 14-25.
Later in the mid 90's 97% male. 14-28 age.
In 2000s it is still 80% male, 20-35
2010 - gets messy. Still mostly thirsty males. +Lot of perverted people
2020 anyone but you is a bot
- Wait, I thought we were all dogs using the internet while the humans are at work. Yall arent dogs?
  
  No, I'm a cat.

A block of cheddar
Needed for my pizza pie
What, to shreds you say

95 comments