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Older people (30+) online, what would you advise younger generations in regards to life?

I feel it is an obligation for any older folk to pass wisdom to those not-in-the-know of things regarding life. Some people are born directionless and they get lost in their lives and before they know it, they're knee-deep in debt, they're in awful minimal-wage jobs, they make poor decisions regarding their love lives .etc

I have several and my more prominent one is;

  • Know Your Numbers

This is a key and must-have piece of knowledge. You must know your numbers. How much you'll earn a month, how much your expenses are, how much is in your bank account, interests and much more. I don't care if you've hated math growing up, you will need to know this. Because going off on guesswork and estimations, only gets you so far before you slip up. Once you slip up financially, missing a payment, you will fall behind faster than you'll get back ahead or break even. As someone said, everyone is one car repair or medical emergency away from being in poverty.

  • Do not get kids in your teens and 20s

Your teenage and young adolescent years, are better spent figuring out who you are and what you want to achieve. Recklessly getting kids with someone who you thought you loved or poor planning are reasons people end up paying child support and having to go to family court and having to deal with custody battles for the rest of their lives. Supporting a kid is $250k PER child, that's the average, moreso because of the economy. Is it really worth the few minutes of sex at all for that expense?

  • Avoid Jail

Going to jail, over anything, is a bad setback to have in life. If you think finding a job is hard normally with the way the job market is, it'll be twice that if you have a criminal record. That is just shit not a lot will be ignored.

You'll lose time, you're likely to lose any jobs you've had at the time of going to jail, you may polarize family and friends even. It's just not worth it, regardless. The more times you end up in jail too, consider your life over.

  • Thrift and Thrift Away!

Thrifting can be a dirty word to some who prefer to get things new, which I understand. But it is a money-saver in the long run. For example, my apartment is 85% of thrifted items and I have a hard time recalling anything I've spent more than $10 for, aside from select things I bought new because I wanted them new, like some appliances.

Just try not to be a hoarder if it can be helped.

145 comments
  • Take excellent care of your teeth. Whatever you need to do to accomplish this, DO IT. It’s thousands and thousands of dollars later if you don’t. I can’t stress this enough.

    Also, work in some strength training. Once your joints start to inflamed and hurt all the time, you will wish you had done this. I know because I do.

    Your night vision will start to degrade after age 40 or so. Prepare yourself.

    Sitting at a desk all day causes cumulative damage. Standing desks, yoga, little desk treadmills, ergo keyboards and mice: all these things may sound silly when your body can handle it. But the damage is CUMULATIVE. Do the “silly” things now, and slow the accumulation the hell down!

  • Cut out social media from your life completely. No, I swear to god, this is life changing advice not some boomer platitudes about how kids these days are always in their phones.

    You don't realize how much life you are missing by being completely stuck to your phone. I promise the world will continue to turn if you ignore your phone for a few hours at a time.

    Quit Facebook, quit Instagram, quit X, quit TikTok. If you feel like you are bored and want to open the apps, try something else. Read a book, start a creative writing project, listen to music while meditating, play video games, do some woodworking, go for a walk or a hike with your dog, learn a new language, go out to the bar or club and socialize, go to the gym and work out, draw stuff from your imagination.

    I promise promise promise you will feel better. Not right away, but very soon after you start doing these things instead of the vapid doomscrolling, shitposting, clout-chasing, self-aggrandizing social media spiral you will realize that you don't need your phone. You are able to live your best life when you aren't thinking about what's being posted online or taking constant selfies or photographing every meal you eat.

    Your future self will thank me.

    • Truth. Especially if someone suffers from anxiety: quitting social media will help immediately. They may jones for it for a few days, but the world is full of other things to do, and they'll be so glad they did. Even if someone is forced to use it for work or business, the personal use of social media can be limited to exactly that.

      Also, and it must be said, it's much harder to become propagandized when you're not allowing yourself to be exposed to a constant feed of it daily. When you find yourself emoting over something you've read, that's usually a clue to step away. The world is full of horrible, saddening things, but we now have a bunch of oligarch techbros who want to use that to steer us via our own emotions, and that's what social media excels at. If you're feeling angry, if you're feeling fearful, if you're feeling hopeless about the world at large, social media is a very expensive short-term remedy. Get offline and occupy your body as well as your mind: you'll be grateful you stopped it when you did.

  • I've spent my whole adulthood working in hospitals. They're shitholes, every single last one of them. Do every single thing you can to never be in one.

    Drink water, plain water. Eat whole grains and leafy vegetables. Treat red meat like a dessert (and if you're morally opposed to meat, make sure you're still getting all your essential proteins). Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it at least three times a week. Either join an organized religion or specifically curate a group of people you do a weekly activity with who will come check on you if you suddenly stop showing up. And while you're at it pick a mindfulness activity that you either enjoy or that brings you peace (prayer qualifies but so can yoga or a lot of other things). Avoid nicotine and alcohol at all costs. Go easy on the weed, and avoid anything more interesting without guidance from either a medical professional or some kind of traditional expert on those substances. And if a competent doctor listens to your specific situation and tells you to do or not do something I've mentioned, listen to them instead of me.

    Decide who you would want to speak for you on your death or near-deathbed. Choose people both trustworthy and level-headed who will put your wishes over their own emotions. Choose multiple people, because it's not unlikely that any one person will be in the car wreck with you. Talk to those people about what you want to happen or not happen so they can best carry out your wishes. Sign some kind of legally binding paperwork that cements them as the decision maker, especially if your first choice is not the default the state would choose (parent, spouse, sibling, adult child, etc). You can write whatever you want then to do on the paper, but the chosen person will have the right to override it if they think you would want them to. So sign the paper but don't forget to TALK to them about it.

    And good luck because while this will give you the best odds, the universe might also just decide to fuck you in particular anyway.

    • Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it at least three times a week. Either join an organized religion or specifically curate a group of people you do a weekly activity with who will come check on you if you suddenly stop showing up.

      I managed to get both these with sport teams. (At least in my area), the local sports competitions are actively looking for players, and if you have skills or enjoy a role others don't, you can even just volunteer (instead of pay fees) in a few teams before joining one you like. And one foot in the door will likely get you invited to other teams and competitions when someone's team needs a substitute player (or you can just ask, "Does anyone have a team that play on Thursday nights?").

      In my favorite team, I became de-facto captain of because I showed up most reliably and was the remaining member of the original team as people left and joined. One week I forgot to tell them I would be away for the match due to travel, and the next day I wake up to a couple of check-in messages just to make sure I haven't vanished or had a bookshelf fall on me. And it's a reassuring feeling to realize you're part of a community that cares about each other.

  • Try to understand yourself better. Notice when you have strong emotions and question why. Revisit the same situation from different angles and try to understand what happened. Why did this make you angry, why did that make you feel ashamed.

    Also don't spend your life arguing online. It's easy to get caught up in winning an argument. But it's a waste of your time.

  • Don’t waste your time on stuff. Waste it on experiences and spending time with people. Relationships are the most important thing. You won’t regret that and it will make your life richer and more fulfilled. Stuff won’t do that.

  • My marriage is approaching 30 years now.

    A lot of this goes without saying or as some would say common sense. Only there is no common sense as it is too subjective of a term. Look at me, I am already digressing and I haven't even started.

    Everything you know about life and love will change in your lifetime. Everything you have learned is a half truth. You sometimes find happiness when you can find the whole truth for yourself. This often means you may end up in conflict with culture, society, or even family. This is normal.

    If you love and care about yourself, you can truly love and care about someone else. Although there may be sacrifice in relationships, the factor that makes them work is how you build each other up. A marriage or any partnership should always be about helping each other achieve more.

    Be grateful for your life and everything you have and everyone you know everyday. Say it out loud, tell it to the people in your family, in your friendships, in your workplace, and most importantly in your close relationships.

    Not only is it important to say it, it is important to show it through your actions. A common trope is actions are louder than words. Both are actually important, although I do have a preference for people showing it because it validates what they say.

    Treat people how they want to be treated. This blows the golden rule out of the water. Don't know how they want to be treated? This is normal. You ask them. Asking someone how they want to be treated and treating them that way is the surest way to gain respect.

    Unless you save you are not paying yourself anything. If you spend everything you make you are literally stealing from your future. Always save everything you can and invest it if you want it to grow. Think twice about purchases, especially if they are major. Being a little thrifty in life is way better than living paycheck to paycheck.

  • Don't chase after women and buses.

    • good advice about buses. i chased after a bus once. i tripped, twisted my ankle, damaged my clothing, and scraped the hell out of my left wrist, elbow, and shoulder. still got a scar from it. everyone on the bus saw, and the bus driver waited for me as i limped up to the next stop.

  • Put effort into finding someone as a romantic / life long partner while you're young. Be critical and aggressive in the search (ie. don't just "be open and let things happen if they happen!").

    Most of the systems and life goals of society are tied to having two people or more in the family unit. Ideally aim for a partner that has similar economic outcomes as yourself, or at least positive ones overall, and who's personality is tolerable / you can see yourselves staying friends indefinitely. If you're a reclusive sort, find someone else who also values their space but is still willing to comingle finances/lives. Doing this young is important as there are more options and it'll generally be easier to find people that 'fit' with your lifestyle. Finding someone close to you in age also helps to keep your life-events (such as whether to have kids, when to retire, etc) better aligned.

    Everything from paying off mortgage debt, to income tax breaks, to even just having a secondary "fail safe" income stream from your partner, are really significant. Heck, with the right partner you even cut down the costs of things like Groceries (can buy in bulk = savings), chore-times, etc.

    The younger you get that leverage, the better the results later on. Consider something like the time crunch many adults feel, between work, chores, sleeping, etc. If you have a solid partner, you can do something like alternate chores and workouts, so that you both maintain better overall health as you age. Eg. one partner does a workout while the other buys groceries/cooks, then the first partner does the cleanup and some light cleaning around the house while the other hits the gym. Having that sort of balance in your 20s / early 30s, will give you a better chance of maintaining your health into your 40s and 50s. There're good reasons why single people die younger.

  • Get off here. It's documented mental illness at this point. I come from the beforetimes. When I was a teenager, a/s/l was redundant because the BBS was a local call, and if you wanted to see what someone looked like they had to own a scanner, which was rare and expensive. It was liberating to be able to talk to people and make friends without the superficiality of irl interactions.

    Modern internet is profit-motivated and monetization is driven by engagement. It takes time and effort to curate your experience to squelch what the platform wants to show you, which is content you're most likely to engage with at the time you're most likely to engage with it. You're not talking to your friends anymore. It's an isolating experience.

    The next time you're talking to someone or replying to a post, looking for your gotcha mic-drop moment, consider why you came here in the first place. Are you here deliberately, or are you just using the internet service that came with your smartphone? Go out into the world instead. Constant rage is unhealthy. Voting, community moderation, logins, persistent identity, and profiles have made the internet experience way more image-obsessed than the irl experience ever was. Your discourse is being streamlined, not encouraged and diversified.

    tl;dr: go find your tribe, your real tribe.

  • I asked this same question to my older coworkers back when I was 20. The main answer I got was: travel, travel, travel! “Travel before you have kids.” “Travel before you start a long-term career.” “Travel before you buy a house.”

    Naturally, being a Millennial, all three of those things became non-issues. 🙃

    So let me give some advice for the ages instead, regardless of what the future may hold for you:

    • Never stop learning

    • It’s okay to not know what you want to do with life

    • And, especially in a post-truth, AI-infested world, question everything!

    Take the time to learn what logical fallacies are (at least the common ones.) You WILL encounter them, and knowing when you or someone else is using faulty logic can keep you from harm, whether it be from another person (like what we see in politics) or from yourself (like the “Sunk Cost Fallacy,” which might otherwise lead you to stick with bad jobs, bad relationships, and more.)

    Tangentially, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Nobody knows everything. Anyone who expects you to know any given thing (unless you’re known to have studied it, of course) isn’t someone worth the admiration of. People with realistic expectations will see you as genuine, and being genuine can carry you far.

    I could probably think of more if given the time, but those are the most important things off the top of my head. I’m open to questions in the comments; I’ve lived quite a peculiar life, so I’ve got a range of experiences, from being a homeless vandweller, to being a pilot, to pivoting 90° to working with kids and making art. I’m more than happy to answer any questions that might help people out!

  • It's not easy.

    Don't smoke, don't drink, don't use recreational drugs.

    No sugar, no processed foods. Make all your own meals from the freshest ingredients you can afford, mostly vegetables. Food is not entertainment, food is not reward.

    Avoid antibiotics in your cleaning products and food, so when you need them to save your life, they work better.

    Exercise, move, get up off your ass.

    Pay attention to your body, don't avoid doctors because you don't want bad news. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. The older you get, the more issues you have. Doing the previous things above, makes this part much easier.

    Put yourself first, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else.

  • Older people? 30+? 💀

    Be a doctor, in medical, electric, or plumbing. They'll exist forever. Alternatively luck out and work 50 work from home jobs at the same time it's all bullshit work and 99% meetings and very doable

  • I'm 48. I'm going to expend many of you here are white men much younger than me.

    Some words if advice.

    1. Have kids young. You will never be ready. There is an old expression, "In for a penny. In for a pound.". Either you like the idea of kids or not. If you do, don't wait just do it.
    2. Romance. African women are 🥰. If they're part of the Diaspora and like me you tend to be more if an introvert the juxtaposition can work amazing.
    3. Don't forget the forest for the trees. Yes the world is on fire. Yes things are increasingly bleak and hopeless. Enjoy life. You have family and friends and they are still important and mean something. Cherish that.
    4. Everyone makes mistakes. What's important is do you learn from them and how do you recover?
    5. Comparison is the thief of joy.
    6. Be different. Be contrary. Challenge. If everyone jumps turn around and look at the person telling you to jump but don't do it blindly.
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