3w ago

Kate Beckinsale claims her daughter's boyfriend has laid 2 eggs: 'It’s a little bit gross'

Beckinsale explained that she initially thought her daughter’s boyfriend was just looking for attention until she noticed that, similarly to an egg, whatever had passed through his body had a “shell” and a “yolk” when opened.

“Hold on a second,” host Jimmy Kimmel said. “An egg came out of his body?”

According to Beckinsale, yes. “Not out of his mouth or ears, it came out the route that it would come out of a hen,” Beckinsale replied. “Well, not his vagina. He went to the bathroom and was very surprised to find that he had laid an egg.”

65 comments

wow, she's unrecognizable. Why do people feel the need to do that to themselves?
- That's what she looks like these days? My gods. Just be cool with aging, FFS.
  
  If only it were so simple, particularly in a profession that is historically ageist. It's a fuckin shame what she did to her face, but there was no small amount of pressure from a number of angles that caused her to do that.
  
  This. I do not understand the aversion to aging. We are all human.
- Why do people feel the need to do that to themselves?
  None of us are in her orbit, she does not interact with an average person.
  All the women in her circles look like that, and we all (to varying extents) want to look like the people around us. You don't even realize it, but it's a thing.
  Now, what makes high level cosmetic surgery so bad, is that it is insanely expensive and done by world class surgeons. So rich women started out doing things that made them conventionally more attractive in subtle ways.
  Poor people want to be like wealthy people. So they got the same surgeries done at a lower quality.
  But older wealthy people want to look like current younger people they see. And for Hollywood that means young women who couldn't afford good cosmetic surgery but felt they had to get it and didn't want for their faces to finish growing first.
  What were flaws then become intentional, and since it's easier and still being done by the literal world's best, the result comes out almost identical regardless of the face that went in.
  We've went thru that cycle a couple times. But there's no signs it's stopping, shits gonna be real weird in a nother couple decades.
  
  I call this the Jersey Shore Effect. Something starts out as an object of ridicule but through media saturation people are exposed to it so much, for so long, that it becomes normalised and then aspirational, purely through conditioning; it's in people's brain all the time so at some point they decide they like it.
  It's the same way that music worked back in the days of radio: play something enough and undiscerning people just start liking it, because its in their head all the time.
- What fuck, it got to be mental illness. She was gorgeous, why did she fuck her face up? Does she seriously look in the mirror and thinks this makes her look young?
- Yep. Smokin' to broken.
  Sad times.
- That's not wildly different. Different hair, plumped lips, heavier eye makeup, a decade of age.
  
  Stung by bee lower lip
  
  Stop the presses! She got some lip filler!
  /s
  --She's 52 years old and frankly, looks fantastic.
- Everyone's getting blepharoplasties lately. Her lips are looking like Kylie Jenner's now, too (nerve damage leaving one side higher than the other)
- You should see Jessica Simpson now.
- Going for the “MAGA face” fad! WOW!
- We are so close to hunger games style of extravagant.
  Everyone just has to look more than everyone else.
- Yikes and I thought Lindsay Lohan looked worse. Has anyone seen what she turned into? It's out on display on that Freakier Friday cover.
- because she started her career young and pretty, displacing older actors, and now she's terrified of it happening to her.

To prove her claim, Beckinsale pulled out her phone and showed images of the alleged eggs to Kimmel and his sidekick, Guillermo. “I’m not showing you because it’s a little bit gross,” she advised the audience. “It’s quite medical.”
So, she has pictures of her daughter's boyfriend's asshole on her phone. Presumably stretched open by an egg.
Beckinsale said the family next reached out to a series of doctors, who passed the story along to their similarly confused colleagues.
“All of them basically said it was some sort of complicated masturbation thing, which it wasn’t,” she said.
Narrator: "It was."
“I said to him, ‘Is this some kind of attention-seeking? Are you putting eggs up your bottom?’” she said. “But I think it’s quite hard to put an egg up your bottom and then get it out whole without injuring the egg. I mean, I think that’s a skill.”
Yes, he's obviously had a lot of practice.
The article is strongly suggesting that Beckinsale is making the story up as her own attention-seeking behavior, but it sounds much more like the boy has more than one kink. Everything in the story points to this.
Lots of guys have the kink to shove random objects into their asshole, or so I've heard. But fewer of them have a kink to show off pictures of their asshole to their girlfriend's mother. That guy probably injured his dick whacking off from seeing that a famous guy like Kimmel saw the picture.
- “But I think it’s quite hard to put an egg up your bottom and then get it out whole without injuring the egg."
  Yes it's quite hard to accomplish that so the most likely scenario must be that a human is laying eggs. 🤦‍♂️
  
  She probably loses her mind if you take her to watch a magician perform.
- from seeing that a famous guy like Kimmel saw the picture.
  Dude was already dating the daughter of a movie star. Pretty-meh comedian/talk show host seems a step down from that.
  
  Kimmel is super famous right now, though. The president keeps mentioning him and trying to get him fired. Kimmel even mentioned that based on Trump's messages, he must be watching the show while it's on air.
- Maybe, one day, I'll get to show off some objects I have "laid" on TV.

So either she is attention removed, or her son in law is, or mental illness is involved there
Probably a little of all of it
- or she doesnt like him and this is a revenge shit post
  
  This is my headcanon

kate beckinsale is a notorious shitposter. good one kate.

According to Beckinsale, yes. “Not out of his mouth or ears, it came out the route that it would come out of a hen,” Beckinsale replied. “Well, not his vagina.
... So his cloaca? These transitions are really getting out of hand.

~~Reminder that her daughter's dad is Charlie Sheen, meaning that at the height of his crazy, Kate was shacking up with him~~
She always seemed intelligent, but I think it's just because she has an English accent
Like, she doesn't even know chickens have a combination but vagina, and we're supposed to take her word on this?
There's a non-zero chance her daughter and the boyfriend are fucking with her too. Even if I saw an egg come out of someone's but, I'm gonna take the logical explanation that he or someone else put it up there. Especially since it was apparently hard boiled.
- ... combination but vagina ...
  Cloaca.
  
  You say Cloaca and it's one of those words everyone's heard but don't really understand...
  Combination but vagina
  Really gets the point across
  
  Wonder hole.
- Michael Sheen, not related to American Sheens.
  
  American Sheens (as in the actors) aren’t really Sheens. So not surprising.
  
  Weird...
  Could have sworn she had tiger blood coursing through her veins
  
  He probably pranked her by carrying eggs to the bathroom
- Wait, hard-boiled? I was initially impressed by the muscle control it takes to get an egg up there intact, but now I am less impressed.
- Don't think anyone here was in danger of actually thinking his body produced and laid an egg.

This woman is so out of her mind she should not be on tv
- That Pete Davison dick gave her dementia

What in the macrodose is going on here?

I don't know if it's funnier if its true or if it's false but, either way, I bet he's thrilled she told it
- I believe she believes it.

No idea who this woman is, but maybe she should schedule an appointment with a shrink?
- She is an actress that played Selene, a vampire, in the Underworld franchise. I know she's been in a lot of other movies, but I've only seen her in Underworld.
  
  And they're SO bad.
  I love them

Private school?

This probably fulfills some sort of dire ancient prophecy, but I'm not pulling that thread.

What the fuck? There goes my enjoyment of Underworld, I guess. Now I'm always gonna see her zombie-looking face trying to persuade people that yeah, her son-in-law really shits eggs.

I just wanna know if she ate it.

65 comments