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Secret Music 🎵 [they/them] @piefed.blahaj.zone

2w ago

A guide to nature names for your baby

32 comments

I take exception to this.
- This would be funnier if you hadn't created the account just to post this.
  
  Just wait for the repost!

I feel like Mother of Thousands is maybe not the best name for a baby.
- Well I guess you don't expect your kids to be high achievers...
  
  I think that's a title one earns, not one that should be given from birth.
- How about the classic Wandering Jew?
  
  I grow those! Now I have no idea what the PC name for them is. (Which is weird because the Wandering Jew is basically mythology, nothing against Jews.)
- Yeah that's a title reserved for animal shelter's owner.
- Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, get my vote.

My baby will be called Compressed Flapworth and no woke liberal snowflake will stop me!
- Do you want to bring them over to have a play date with my sweet virgins creeper?

Cheeseweed would probably be the coolest kid in school, ngl.
- Don't know why they mock my little Cheeseweed Jr.
- I was just thinking that it sounds like an insult.
  "Of course it was loaded you cheeseweed!"

Sarcastic Fringehead and Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker, go clean your rooms! And stop teasing your little sister Common Cockchafer.

Great, you've made my son cry. Now I'll have to make pancakes in the morning for Tufted Titmouse.
- He just needs a hug from his mother, Great Tit.

Capiche?
- Good enough for a poke

Ima go with Cawwwwww

Cheeseweed Flapwort sounds like a hobbit name

There really is a screaming hairy armadillo (Chaetophractus vellerosus). The name comes from its squealing when you pick it up.
- That name seems a little weirder in context.
  It's like calling a species of wild pig the "Bleeding Black Hog" because of how it reacts to being shot.
  
  There is that meme floating around about a salmon learning that named a color after them. I'm sure there are a ton of other examples.

Honestly, Hellbender is badass
Bender would be too
Or even Hell

Greatest: Boa, A Lizard Bird, Mealybug Destroyer, Raven.
- Hawk, Badger

I'm sorry, but "Lavender" is not a good name.

32 comments