They don't know what's coming
They don't know what's coming
Comments
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3 seconds later the bartender clears the queue and OP wasted $20 to annoy nobody.
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As a former bartander / bar manager, we skipped bad plays ALL the time.
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I bet. I've seen karaoke night, it's brutal how many shitty renditions of "fuck her gently" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" you have to sit through.
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Fuck me I forgot that's a feature on almost every jukebox! And I just left a comment about doing something similar.
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The trick is to play one thing inexplicably awful that the bartender won’t realize is so just by looking at the name.
Like Ram Ranch. Like, sure they’ll probably cancel it after about 20 seconds when they realize what the fuck is going on. But you still got everyone in the bar to hear about gay cowboys for 20 seconds.
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My goto is Good Lookin' - such a generic title and sound that almost nobody recognizes it even if they've heard it before. Takes at least a solid minute before someone notices over the bar background noise and complains about it.
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Definitely learned that lesson, but I just wanted to listen to Dillinger Escape Plan in a college bar.
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I could have drank that money!
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The opportunity costs are real
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My friends and I used to do this with a song by drum and bass dj Goldie. For some reason touch tunes had a set of his that lasted 45 minutes, we would throw that in 3+ times in a row and bounce. Worst part, the beginning and end would bleed together really well so you really couldn't tell it restarted. So for $4 the bar would have 2+ hours of drum and bass.
Eventually the bartenders caught on and would shut off the touch tune when we would show up.
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Outstanding. It's like picking stuff like November Rain and Free Bird to make the most of your money.
In a similar vein, one of my old haunts had a jukey, but the button under the bar to skip tracks was fucked. So, we'd get towards the end of our drinks, put two quid in the jukey, pick two decent songs to give us six or seven minutes to finish our drinks, then queue up a load of Christmas songs... in June.
We'd drink up, fuck off, and sit smugly in the next pub knowing there was half hour of Mariah Carey & co. blaring out at the previous pub which couldn't be skipped. Good times.
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Hey I LOVE Christmas carols! Especially the choiry Catholic ones, they are beautiful. I can listen to that year round, and sing out loud to them year round, and just in general year round!
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My college bar at university had The End by the Doors. I’d put it on and then chuck some money in the Soul Edge arcade machine.
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We can't accept drum and bass. We need jungle, I'm afraid.
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Amol Rajan giving the losing team patronising advice that they might have won if they’d buzzed faster and given the correct answers.
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So hating Nickleback become a meme which actually managed to keep the band alive for way longer then other bands in the same category. They still managed to get concerts with great reception for a very long time after their prime with Photograph.
I saw one interview where they said that once the "hate" dies they'll not know what to do.
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I actually enjoy a number of Nickleback songs. The "hate" was meme'd to the heavens but the band isn't really that bad and Chad Kroeger legit has a good singing voice.
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His singing voice is pretty polarizing I'd say, a lot of people don't like it.
I slot them right next to Imagine Dragons; commercial pop rock, all their shit sounds the same, it's scenery, I don't need to go watch em for two hours or buy an album but it doesn't bother me.
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The hate is because they were the most visible "post grunge" Pearl Jam wannabe band, not that they were particularly awful among their peers. It's hard to exaggerate just how obnoxious alternative radio became in the late 90s when legitimately 75% of the plays were these manufactured poser bands. It's like clear channel took sadistic pleasure in making us listen to them skull fuck the corpse of Kurt Kobain for 22.8 hours of the day. That's basically what Nickelback was - not awful music, but rather the harbinger of the end times for independent radio and alternative rock.
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Tney were produced. Like a hamburger patty. And sold. People will eat what they are served every day.
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I found a ten hour loop of in the air tonight that never gets to the drum break. Takes surprisingly long before anyone notices.
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I think I found it
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Nah that just does the drum loop for ten hours.
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I couldn't find a version that never gets to the drum fill. Yours is good.
Also this one is pretty great (drummer's version with a 99 tom drum fill): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8tnaZw-uTE
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I grew up surfing in the late-90s early-00s, and we'd always paddle in to go to the same place for lunch. They had a jukebox and we always put on Yellow Submarine simply because one time flicking through someone thought it sounded funny, and turns out the song's a bit of a joke. The owner hated the ritual, but he knew we'd put on Stairway To Heaven next and leave.
We chose Stairway To Heaven as loosely as we did Yellow Submarine. Never heard it before, but we had heard of it. Those two songs covered scoffing down lunch and then we'd paddle back out for the afternoon session.
This occured for years until we grew up and left town pursuing adult things as newly born adults now out of highschool.
The owner was a great guy. Told us as much as he hates Yellow Submarine, he was going to miss us as much as he loved Stairway To Heaven (along those lines anyway). We never learned each other's names, but he always gave us shit when we walked in and told us to enjoy our surf when we left. Those two songs and that jukebox remind me of him all these years later and I'm sure they remind him of us punk ass surfer brats.
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That face when your sister just gave you a sloppy kiss and then went upstairs to her room
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#relatable
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I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in,
It's like the bottom of the 9th and I'm never gonna win,
This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be...
(That's right. Fuck y'all; I like Nickelback 😤)
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When I was a kid my buddies and I would stop in a burger joint and play I Touch Myself as many times as we had quarters and leave.
We would also play Scatman at this little diner we would go for breakfast. The juke selection was in all the booths.
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My go-to is always Cottoneye Joe
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Hebe damit da macht mann tscho
Eibi namari dalong taimgo
Wer dja kam von, wer dja go
Verde kam von Katnaijo
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Touchtunes figured out people were doing this kind of thing and gave bars the ability to skip songs.
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I hate these threads. Do people not get that bar tenders can skip whatever, or shut it down, or play whatever they want?
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The amount of times I saw posts on reddit saying "upvote this so the top Google result is this political meme" despite that being disproved years ago tells me that the average tech literacy of users is abysmal.
Generally speaking most things that people interact with are black boxes to them. They only know that X output occurs with Y input, they no idea or care about what happens in-between.
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They've always had the ability to skip... I'm guessing the bartenders just didn't know because the button on the remote isn't explicitly labelled "skip". What they did catch on to is playing longer songs; those cost extra now.
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I thought at the beginning they didn't. That was the biggest complaint I heard at the time from my bartender friends. But it's been that way for years at the least. But there's a good possibility it wasn't intuitive at the time and they didn't know they could skip.
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There's a bar close enough to my place that I can sit on the patio and listen to the music. I regularly use touch tunes to change the music because some people over there just have bad taste.
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What's New Pussycat twenty times, with one It's Not Unusual dropped somewhere in the middle.
Edit: and pour one out for the Salt & Pepper Diner.
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Hmm, What's New Pussycat is a lot longer than I thought it was...
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I can't remember the band or the song, but there was a jam band song that went in for 40ish minutes at a bar I used to go to. You could play it four times for a dollar.
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There was a pool hall/bar in lake Park called mizrack's that had an old school juke box that would physically pull a cd like the record playing ones of yore. I played "supper's ready" by Genesis 10 times with a $5 bill before getting one beer and leaving. I used to be a terrible person, I still am, but I used to be as well.
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The more I learn about Nickelback, the more I realise they are not as bad as everyone says.
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They're not bad, they're actually pretty talented. The worst you can say is that they're "safe" or "boring". The actual problem with Nickelback is that they were just super overplayed on the radio for a solid decade. They played on rock stations, pop stations, alternative, even the country stations in my area played their stuff from time to time. You couldn't get away from them. Soon they'll be in the classic rock stations (if they aren't already, I don't listen to a lot of radio anymore).
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Jon Mulaney has poisoned an entire generation in regard to jukeboxes.
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I used to study in a cozy little cafe that was a row of houses turned into business. Next door was a bar that could get a bit rowdy sometimes. They had one of those jukeboxes with an app. I would load up Hotel California every chance I got. I could barely hear the music but I could hear the patrons groan every 30 minutes or so. One day the song option wasn’t there, so I switched to American Pie by Don McLean.
I’m sure they hated me.
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American Pie by Don McLean
Radio version or album version?
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The one that was like 10m long 😆 I’m assuming that’s the album one.
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I'm now imagining american pie sung by nickelback. Thank you...
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I read that as 12 straight days
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That'd be a helluva lotta money to dump in a jukebox.
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Well you know what they say:
I'm through with standing in lines to clubs I'll never get in,
It's like the bottom of the ninth and I'm never gonna win,
This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be -
Me, with a flipper zero: SkipSkipSkipSkip...
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/foundsatan
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I like to play songs from Star Wars but it turns out the bar can override it. :(
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I like Nickelback..I just think they were overplayed back in the how you remind me / someday days.. But the band is pretty decent
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A group of my friends used this technique differently. We used this to get rid of assholes. The group of assholes all liked techno for some reason. So when there were too many in the bar, we chipped in for the jukebox and played around 20 metal songs in a row. The assholes were all gone after 15 min when they realized, they'll be hearing Rammstein for the next 2 hours.
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Back when the song was super popular, I had a friend catch a ride with another friend on a 4ish hour drive to another city. How You Remind Me the entire ride
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I did that with three Nightwish songs once, a half hour straight of symphonic metal. People were pissed when they couldn't override my paid-for selections.
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Ghost Love Score intensifies
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That one and Romanticide made the list, and I think there's a good chance the last song was The Islander, but this was a decade ago.
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Cannibal Corpse's Meat Hook Sodomy is a surprisingly polarizing track too
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I have a friend who is unapologetically a weirdo (really that describes most of my friends and myself I suppose, but this story is about one of them in particular)
We're at a bar for his birthday. This place was formerly a real dump of a dive/biker bar but has cleaned itself up a bit. Still kind of a dive, but it's a nice dive. It's located practically right on the border of a really shitty town and one that's generally pretty nice, so it gets an interesting selection of patrons there.
He's a regular there, he actually lived in a small motel attached to the bar for a bit while his house needed some major repairs.
Again, he's a bit of a weirdo, it's his birthday, he's been drinking, and he wants to listen to some Disney song (I'm pretty sure it was "part of your world" from the little mermaid) so he goes and queues it up on the jukebox
And the song never plays
So he does it again. And again it never plays.
Eventually he figures out that the bartender (what was new and didn't really recognize him as a regular) was skipping it when it came up.
We ask her to just let it play for him for his birthday, she refused
So he queues it up about 10 times in a row, she can't skip them all fast enough, it finally starts playing, she's getting mad at us,some asshole dudebros in the bar are getting annoyed that this song is now playing twice, and we're all politely yet firmly asked to leave.
So we fuck off to another bar owned by the same person, we're welcomed in, they let us play the damn song, they mention to to the owner who apparently told the bartender who was giving us issues to chill and there hasn't been any issue since.
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I'm sorry for real, but this story wasn't worth the time.
E: I still upvoted for the effort
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Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
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You're a monster.
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Only 12?
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Amateur! REAL cultural vandalism should include The Beatles "Revolution 9", Lou Reed's "Metal Music Machine" and/or, of course, the particularly dense bits of Robert Wyatt.
Well... I don't know if they still have those internet jukeboxes with no manual override like they did in the UK about fifteen years ago, and the phenomenon known as wyatting surfaced.
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For years, scientists have long wondered, can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual", and the answer is yes, you can, so long as it is preceded by seven "What's New Pussycat"'s.
Then lose their mind when it is followed by more repeats of "What's New Pussycat".
This is the way.
As a teenager / young adult, I had never heard (or at least registered) this song. In that timeframe, I once visited my older sister and her husband, who at the time had a pretty large collection of cats.
At one point, I stepped away from the group and, on my return, encountered one of these cats just hanging out around the corner from the gathering area. I said to it "what's up, pussycat?" just to acknowledge it. Immediately everyone in the main room, from which they could overhear me, responded "whooooa-oh-oh-oh!"
Without the context of knowing that song, it was very confusing and almost alarming.
Brilliant.
Exactly what I was going to post. Classic John Mulaney.