Kid Names
Kid Names
Comments
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Did these casuals even check if xXPussySlayer42069Xx was taken?
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Been taken since the early 90s. I've always been proud of my username/email I've been using since 96. No numbers or anything. (Not this name by the way)
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I choose to believe this is the real xXPussySlayer42069Xx
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The legend is among us.
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One of my favorite court transcripts is Sheppard v. Speir.
The Court: All right. Now, do you have some objection to him being renamed Samuel Charles?
Sheppard: Yes.
The Court: Why? You think it's better for his name to be Weather'by Dot Com Chanel-
Sheppard: Well, the-
The Court: Just a minute for the record.
Sheppard: Sorry.
The Court: Chanel Fourcast, spelled F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t? And in response to that question, I want you to think about what he's going to be-what his life is going to be like when he enters the first grade and has to fill out all [the] paperwork where you fill out-this little kid fills out his last name and his first name and his middle name, okay? So I just want-if your answer to that is yes, you think his name is better today than it would be with Samuel Charles, as his father would like to name him and why. Go ahead.
Sheppard: Yes, I think it's better this way.
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That was a wild read, thanks for sharing. I'm so glad the kid had a father that cared, and that he got the custody and succeeded in changing that name!
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Read the whole thing. That was wild. I think, alone, Weatherby (said together) isn't the worst name I've ever heard but all the rest is cuckoo banana pants. Based on what came out of the court proceedings that woman had some PROBLEMS.
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cuckoo banana pants
Taking that for my next kids name!
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I feel like the most shocking part of all of this is that this woman who is in and out of jail, has 3 other kids, and can't hold down a job for more than a few weeks managed to get a whole-ass trial about this.
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When choosing my son's name I had two rules:
- No super popular top 10 or 20 name. There were plenty of very popular choices that I liked as names. But, I figured let's try to find something at least a little unique for various reasons.
However!
- They shall not need to spell their name every time they tell it to somebody. This implies a few things, like choosing an established first name people have heard before rather than making something up, and using the common spelling of that name.
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This seems rational and thoughtful.
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Thanks! That's usually what I'm going for.
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I had a very similar strategy, except I was trying to avoid top 50. I once told a stranger my kid's name and they said "I like it. Unique, but not weird". That comment made me so happy!
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Yeah, I wasn't very particular about how far up the list. Top 50 was probably too much in most cases.
Looking back for my son's birth year, his name is just barely in the top 100 for boys. So top 200 overall.
That's actually more popular than I expected it to be, but it is definitely in the very broad sweet spot we're talking about.
Looking back at my birth year, my name is in the top 10! That's even more surprising because it didn't feel that way at all. I think there was one other kid with the same name in my graduating class of hundreds. Yet I distinctly remember there was one class one year that had SIX "John"s.
edit: that's six Johns out of a single classroom of maybe 30 people at most, not a different graduating class. They were in my grade!
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At my job, I come across a lot of children's names. So many, that I can actually sympathize with parents who want an odd name. Names are supposed to be a unique identifier, so if you wanna name a kid "Revolution Fighter" or "Czarlanda," I get it. I can certainly find a kid with that name in our databases faster than I can find a "John Anderson" or an "Adam Wu."
What really kills me is parents who name their kids a normal sounding name, but with an insane spelling. I'm talking like "Shelley" spelled "Schelei" or "Alexander" spelled "Alexzander." You're not being clever or cute, you're just going to make your child's life unnecessarily harder as they have to spell their name out every. single. time.
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That spelling of Alexzander a lot of times comes from non American countries (maybe Czech? Unsure)
Look at Alex Lifesons real name lol. I cant spell it
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Not actually why they did it. I can quote the parent here, because for some reason they felt the need to immediately justify the spelling. "I just thought it'd be cool to do something different."
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He has a Serbian name though, which is definitely not the same as just spelling it weird on purpose.
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I read this a while ago (scroll down into section II for the graphs) which conducted a survey to see how happy people were with their names. The consensus seems to be that, for the most part, people just want names that don't annoy them constantly. Very common names rank lower than less common names, until the names become very uncommon. More normal or traditional names rank higher than more modern or creative names.
The conclusion I drew was that people want a normal name spelled a normal way, that is not too common. Why? Because if your name is too common, you are always confused with other people (cue saying "Michael" in a crowded room and having 5 people turn towards you). But if your name is too uncommon, people will constantly mis-spell and mispronounce it, so you will constantly either be correcting people or having to ignore it. If you have a common name with a unique spelling, then people will always misspell your name unless you spell it out for them. And of course, if you are named after a sci fi character or a name that rhymes with your twin, you will probably be bullied for it in middle school.
So if you are naming a kid, your best bet is to look through the current common baby names and pick one somewhere between 100 and 1000 most popular, after eliminating weird spellings or names that can easily be turned into mean nicknames. Bonus points if you can tie the name into your cultural heritage or you have an admirable anscestor to name your kid after.
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I have a first name that's been in use for a couple thousand years now. I'm happy with it. They're classics for a reason.
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A simple safe bet is to choose a name from a related language.
For example, Renato is common in Portuguese but not in Spanish, however no Spanish speaking person is going to misspell it (and to this example, I doubt anyone speaking a European language would)
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I have friends with really common names, like Mike and Robert Jones common. They don't want to change it, but it has been a tremendous pain in their asses. It's annoying to be the 3rd person in your class with the same first name, but imagine having a high school class with someone who has the same first and last name.
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name out every. single. time.
"Czarlanda," I get it. I
Names aren't supposed to be unique. Your whole name doesn't even need to be unique. And when you adda middle-name or two, no matter what basic ass names you've chosen it's gonna be unlikely that anyone within reasonable distance would be named exactly the same.
Thank God my country has a law preventing this type of child abuse
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Actor Rob Morrow named his daughter "Tu". "Tu Morrow". Seriously.
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Actors are notoriously dumb. I'm friends with a famous person and it's sad when you realize they're usually just surrounded by people kissing their ass and afraid to tell them no, you're wrong. People are so shallow they'll agree with anything if it keeps them in their company. No one is truthful around them. One of the reasons we got along was my "ability" to be real with him, as if that is actually a talent i have or something. Truly sad that people think so much of celebrity when they're just people.
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Better than naming her “2” I guess?
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Tula works with Tu as a nickname, but just Tu... eh
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See you later today Tu Morrow!
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of their 18-month-old son, Somersault
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Is Vagina an acceptable girl's name?
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Only if you shorten it to Vaggie.
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Lil Vaggie
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Pronounced 'Va-hi-na'
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I remember a girl telling me a story back in high school when she was in a class that would go and interact with 1st and 2nd graders. She told the story of her meeting a young girl with a name tag that said "Gina", so she said "hi Gina". The girl responded "its pronounced Gyna". She said she had to turn and walk away as to not laugh in the girl's face.
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I could have rocked Whisky Jones my entire life no problem.
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Yeah, sounds like a badass bluesman.
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It does sound badass, but it sounds really feminine to me actually.
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So many people don't understand that children are people and people have rights. You are responsible for your children, you don't own them. If you don't like that, simply don't have kids.
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To the people downvoting this, you are the problem.
Children are people, not your property. You owe your kids a loving, caring, and supportive environment because it was your choice to have them. They did not choose to be born, they did not choose you as parents, they do not owe you anything. If you treat them well, they will support you and love you. If they do not, then you did something wrong.
If you think your children owe you anything, don't have kids and go see a therapist.
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I think they are downvoting because of the implication that having a not-cringy legal name is a legal right. In almost all places, it isn't. The general sentiment of the comment is correct - you shouldn't do stupid bullshit to your kids for your own amusement. But saying it is a "right" is incorrect in a very weird way.
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As of last week I've now met 2 different people named Abcde, pronounced ab-sid-ee. Nice enough sounding name, but just the worst spelling.
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"If had a nickel for every person I've met named Abcde, I'd have two nickels. Its not a lot, but its weird that it happened twice"
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Hopefully it isn’t short for abecedarian!
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I met a couple who named their daughter Grendel, because they thought it sounded nice.
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She better stay the heck away from Denmark.
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Hopefully she doesn't encounter any bee hunters.
This is a stupid joke about compound meanings in old English.
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Did they know Beowulf out was it just a nice sounding name? Because Grendel...wasn't nice.
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This is where I removed about my white people Utah name but I'm not willing to dox myself.
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Fucking Utah county.
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I live in Utah and feel this so much. I have kids in school, and when they tell me their classmates' names, I just feel sad. So many awful names...
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i'm so sorry Mahonri.
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A wacky black name on a white dude from Utah would be pretty funny
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I know someone with relatives in China where they gave their kids nicknames that roughly translate to "first baby", "second baby", etc. They're all middle aged adults now and they're still addressed by the same nicknames. So you have kids listening to their grandparents talk about "second baby" and imagining a baby, but then you meet them and it's an old man.
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A number of traditional names the world over are literally "first son", etc. Not to mention all the names that mean "so-and-so got me pregnant with this one." Normal names are only normal because we're used to them, not because they aren't made-up bullshit.
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Yeah, bring back normal, traditional names, like: "Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes" and "Wrestling."
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Do you know about author Naomi Novik's daughter, Evidence?
"Faith" and "Credence" are nice and all, but "Evidence" is better.
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It's a child not a vanity plate
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I do not understand the "no popular names" rule that some parents seem to live and die by.ust be a recent thing too right, I feel like so many people in the past were named after a relative that the parents admired.
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Personally for me if it's too popular I would feel cheap using it. Like I can't ever name a cat Loki; it's too obvious. But there's a pretty big ocean of names between John and x_0 to choose from.
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If the name's too common it fails as being a quick identifier. That doesn't mean you need to retrieve a name from an extinct language to make it unique. Just pick a name that 2 to 5 people you know have.
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We need to normalize naming ourselves, why should we let someone who doesn't know us yet decide what we should be called forever?
I get you've got to be called something but there's no reason we can't decide something else later.
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If we named ourselves, I guess our names would also serve as a lasting reminder of what our 5 year old selves thought was cool.
I mean, that's not such a bad thing in the long run but it might get tough when you're in your teens
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Billie Eilish has several middle names. Eilish is in fact one of them. One of them, however, is “Pirate”. Because her parents allowed her big brother to choose one of them when she was born.
Why she doesn’t go by Pirate, I’ll never understand.
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I was thinking more when you become an adult you pick your name, I did that and over a decade later I still feel like my name suits me.
It's a normal name, nothing crazy or spelled weird.
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I tell parents-to-be not to give their kids fucked-up names; they'll have to explain their name to strangers. And don't give your kid a name with fucked up spelling, they'll only spend their whole life spelling their name to strangers.
And yeah, that's my real name. My middle name isn't any better. But I've come to embrace its uniqueness; it only took 50 years. 😁
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I attended my kids award ceremony (he's 10) and there were multiple girls ages 11 and 12 called Khaleesi and I shook my head
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I get naming your kid after a cultural figure, but it drives me nuts that so many people believe her name is khaleesi.
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Plenty of people might actually think that, but Prince, Queen, Princess, and different variations in different languages are common enough names already. It's possible plenty to most of those people just like the title and know it's not her actual name. Not directed at you, just some people might not realize that the phenomenon was popular before GoT existed.
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Particularly when the spelling of Daenerys already had a major "millennial parent" aesthetic.
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There was a kid in my school with the surname Pann. His parents named him Peter...
They know what they did...
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There was a Reddit post I remember where a woman had always wanted to name her son Harry after her grandfather or something, but she'd married a man named Potter, and everyone had to convince her to give him her maiden surname because she thought it was okay to name him Harry Potter if she had a good reason.
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I wish I was named kitchenaid whiskey jones
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You can always change it
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Worst I've seen: Shithead
Pronounced: Shih-theed
Spelled: Shit head
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Sometimes things dont translate well to English. Like the common Indian surname Dikshit
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I had a kid in high school with the same name. It was a normal name in his country. Everyone just started calling him Shitty and he embraced it lol.
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This next guy, hes a real poth ead.
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Hm...I don't know. I think terrible names are popular enough presently that when the generation being born right now is school-aged, a McKeinsleigh will probably need to use a last initial in class to not get her confused with the other one(s).
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Very much this. The people who make these kinds of posts forget that this is how names are invented and evolved.
People who complain about what can be termed “Tragedeigh” names seem to be fine with “Kayleigh” and “Ashleigh”, despite both being a later variation on “Kayley” and “Ashley”, with the former not becoming popular until the 80s - and because of a song, at that.
In general, people have a very hard time with the idea that language in general, and names specifically, evolve over time. Whatever was commonplace until they reach, say, their 30s is what’s “right”. Any variation after that is “wrong”. When, of course, it was just as mutable when they were young and before they were born, but they weren’t around for the latter and were equally mutable when they were themselves young.
There can often be an unpleasant class/race undertone to it as well.
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Expect those examples you gave appeared due to mixing of standard phonetics of different languages. They where two normal things spelled correctly pushed together.
That's where the VAST majority of change in language and names comes from. Spellings, or sounds picked up from other languages due to mixed language or dialect households.
So even the new spelling is still normal by the standards of the environment it came from.
Many of the recent nonsense names are entirely abnormal in their origin. Having no root in language, dialect, religion, history or culture.
They are entirely bullshit made up nonsense. Which is NOT normal historically. Even naming after a video game character with a weird name is more normal than what's been happening.
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people have a very hard time with the idea that language in general […] evolve[s] over time
Writing is not language. Speaking is language (edit: in this particular case), and there's no phonetic change here. If a spelling is due to another language that the parents, or really anyone, speak, that's fine. But if your language (read: English) has such a terrible spelling system that people can do these things completely arbitrarily and the spelling is still somewhat readable, there's something wrong with that writing system (not with the people!)
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I don't have a problem with language and names evolving, I have a problem with them evolving into something dumb.
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And their kids will have simplest, most common (now uncommon) names like George and Fred and Amy. It's the cycle of life.
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On the other hand, my friend named their kid a super plain name, and I wasn't very impressed.
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I'm pretty proud of my son's name
It's not in the top 30 names for his birth year, but it's in the top 50, and it has a gender-neutral nickname
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Henry: Come on, Junior.
IndianaKWJ: Will you please stop calling me Junior?
Sallah: Please, what does this mean? Always with this.. Junior?
Henry: That's his name: Henry Jones, Junior.IndianaKWJ: I like.. KitchenAid Whisky Jones.Henry: We named the dog KITCHENAID WHISKY JONES.
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McKeinsleigh sounds like a 77 year old grandparent already IMHO.
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Less common names and being unique sucks when you’re a kid trying to fit in.
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Then again, 4 of my friends had the same name, so I used my middle name in college only to have a coworker with that name in my internship.
Sometimes you just can't win.
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Why do we have this idea that what 1-2 idiots named a baby is what they have to be called the rest of their lives?
"My name is Dave". Problem solved.
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We assume that it's the first fifteen or so years, when you don't even have authority over your own name, are the worst.
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I know if a person whose legal first and middle name is margarita corona
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2020 was probably especially trying for her.
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You can tell they made up that second name by looking for random objects in the room lol
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How was it again in that one movie? Emplyes Mustwashhands
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The Motel doesnt have a problem with it, why would you?
Other notable pop references, if dated AF, a boy named Sue.
My recent favorite of a real person (I check birth certs and passports at work) was first name Independence, middle name Infinity Excellence. Im gonna change the last name, but it was akin to Smith.
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looks at own name, given to her by her parents
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I thought about changing my name, but never did it. Mine isn't even one of those horrible names, so I'm wondering the mindset of the kids who do grow up with the ridiculous ones. Do they double down and rabidly attack anyone who suggests they change it, or secretly hate it so much that they refuse to acknowledge they ever had it after they change it, so that to us it seems like there aren't many people out there that have changed their name from the fart-sniffing parents' choice? I only say this, because I think somewhere like new zealand publishes the list of names they reject, and there are some doozies on it.
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Your name should at least be an actual name considering that I presume you're German. The authorities are rather strict here
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Please don't give your kid a boring name.
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My first name was the most popular baby name in my country for, like, every year of the 90s, and I think it has been in the top ten for a century, right up until today. 10000% agree. My name was never [name], it was always [name][number]. In both primary school and secondary school, even [name][initial of last name] wasn't unique. Really fucked with my identity development growing up. And people made fun of it all the time, too.
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OP clearly has never been the third Chris, Matt, Stephanie, Jen, etc in a class. Read some Shakespeare OP.
Edit: Was referencing the rose by any other name line.
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and you've never had to wait in line a few extra times every DMV trip because they keep putting your name on the paperwork wrong even though you spell it out loud every time.
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True, although I have changed all my names to uncommon yet culturally familiar names. IF I ever accomplish anything in my life I don't want to be lumped in with all the thousands of other Muhammad Marie Wangs (most common first, middle, and last names). Although due to associations with distinct cultures this specific permutation is likely far less common than assuming a raw independence of names.
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To be fair, I have a ~fairly common name (not gonna out myself but most people know a couple of people with my name). And my name has very rarely been spelled right by the government, employers, schools, various offices, banks, or friends. My spelling is the common spelling, I don't pronounce it weird, yet I always have to get my first paychecks fixed at a new job, have to go back to offices to get spelling corrected (when it matters), and correct friends repeatedly until it sticks.
Just in the last month I had to go to my states department of health to amend my vaccination records from my childhood because my record submissions for a job got rejected . Then I had to go back to the place that I got my flu shot from for the same reason. You can do everything right and still get screwed by inattentive bureaucrats. Your point still stands though. Don't name your kids dumb shit people
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I've actually been exactly that, the third XYZ from 5th to 10th grade. I didn't care and they didn't care either. Teachers just had to look at whoever they wanted to call and occasionally there was some ambiguity but that's it.
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Maybe it's just me then, but I developed a bit of a complex related to this. In high school everyone referred to the popular kid with my name by simply First_name, I guess as the default. Whereas I was First_name Last_initial. Many have debated whether this complex of mine actually preceded this incident and that I'm just blaming outside circumstances. I guess we'll never know.
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WRT Shakespeare, it’s perhaps worth noting that Shakespeare himself wasn’t immune to unusual names.
He literally coined the names Jessica, Imogen, Miranda, and Cordelia (as well as some others which have more or less fallen out of favour today, like Ophelia, and Desdemona). And he popularised several more which would have been highly unusual in his time, like Juliet, Olivia, Viola, Beatrice, and Adriana.
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Dr. Marijuana Pepsi wrote a whole thesis on unique names.
Wow!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck
Cannabis Coke is way more badass
But she dropped out of grad school for some reason.
Jazz Cabbage RCCola was a great tambourine player tho
And on Wikipedia you can read about Marijuana's farm.