Finding an instance that blocks least and is least blocked

Is there a way to shop around for a Lemmy instance based on how many instances are blocking it and how many instances it's blocking? For example, I noticed that the lemmygrad.ml instance is relatively popular, but it seems like a lot of other instances block it. It also blocks a bunch of other instances. So, if there are any communities on there that might be relevant to me then I would be missing out. I guess I could just create an account on a walled instance, but I would prefer not to keep creating accounts. I'd like to just find one instance that maximizes my access. Is the answer to just run my own instance?

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Some folks think that defederation is a bad thing. OK.
Here's a little experiment you can try at home.
Stop using GMail, Hey, or whatever email service you're currently using.
Set up your own mail server (there's instructions on the internet).
When the instructions say to use a Remote Black List just ignore them.
When the instructions say to validate domains, ignore those too.
When the instructions say to set up SPF, DKIM, and DMARC just let those slide.
Try to send / receive email
Also try to read your inbox. For added benefit turn on all notifications for received mail.
Voila. Now you have an unfettered email experience.
And this, class, is why defederation is useful.
Please send your comments to the overworked TA in the back of the room.
— Craig Maloney
- Is running your own Lemmy instance as difficult as an email server?
  
  probably not, but you'd get the same amount of horrible stuff as you'd get if you turned off all the security precautions on an email server. the point i'm making here by quoting Maloney is that blocking is a security precaution. less is more, and by joining an instance that doesn't block anyone, you're exposing yourself to a lot of terrible stuff. besides, instances that don't block get blocked themselves, so horrible stuff would be all you'd see
  
  It's a fraction of the work of an email server, if you're not keeping many users on it. Ie, my personal instance requires almost no work
- Now I want to see what the results of that are lol
  
  depends, If you ignore all the outgoing things, like SPF, DKIM, DMARC, etc. Your outgoing emails will always go into spam or disappear completely.
  If you follow all the outgoing things but ignore the inbound mail checking, you will get quite a bit of spam. I run my own email server and instead of blocking bad incoming emails I just send then to the spam folder. I usually receive about 2-4 spam email a day, usually it's just marketing crap or it's a single link with some cutout of a wikipedia article to avoid spam detectors, and sometimes it's trying to extort you. I find it fun to read them sometimes, one time I got an email saying I missed a payment for my domain name but they got the amount of VAT wrong AND the maths on the subtotal. Some of them are comicality bad. but not quite the flood you might expect. If more people where on my email server or if I signed up to any shitty website I came across I'm sure it would be a lot worse though.
- What a ridiculous false dichotomy, obviously subs which are just creating outright machine spam should be blocked but the current policy is just creating complete echo chambers where the orthodoxy of the admins isn't challenged.

tbh, there is no such instance. Not blocking any other instances is often a reason to be blocked by other instances.
An instance that blocks no one is in effect a "free" speech instance that prioritises the right to be bigoted over the need to provide safe spaces for folk. And that means that instances that value the need for safe spaces over "free" speech are going to block the instances that don't block anyone else as a means of creating and maintaining that safe space.
- Hmm? Do instances automatically block other instances if they don't block certain other ones?
  I self host an instance. I haven't blocked anyone yet as I just sub to communities that aren't bigoted.
  
  Some decently sized Mastodon instances introduced a policy like this. "Unless you use my blacklist, you are defederated by default". In practice, it means that those few instances are an isolated clique that only talk to each other. In my experience, those cliques are toxic, so it's no big loss if you're not able to contact them. But of course I hope this behavior doesn't come to Lemmy.
  
  Nah, if you're using your instance as an essentially private one, you're not about to be blocked. If you're running communities on it that run counter to the basic ideals of other communities, you'll probably find yourself losing some federation however.
  I run my own, and I'm not blocking anything yet because, honestly, I just won't be vising ones I'm not interested in. I'll probably block a few if I see things coming out of them that I really don't want to see, but at this point it doesn't affect anyone else.

U might want to take a look at the federation map. It might be a bit overwhelming but in the settings on the bottom left you may chose blocked and allowed in order to get some insights on who federates with whom.
- Oh wow what did lemmygrad.ml do?
  
  I hate linking you to reddit but this post came to mind Choosing an instance; and my issues with lemmygrad
  
  They're just generally annoying. They're tankies, constantly praising Putin and the CCP.
  
  Deny and or support genocide, for one thing
  
  @rrpeak@feddit.de linked one reddit post while I was searching for this one, so here it is anyway:
  https://old.reddit.com/r/RedditAlternatives/comments/13zl7s1/fediversetips_i_do_not_recommend_lemmy_i_have/
  And here's the OG mastodon post from fedi.tips:
  https://mstdn.social/@feditips/106835057054633379
  Make sure to "Show More" on each post in the thread, including the replies. I thought it was all spamming the same post for a minute, lol.
- what's the difference between 'open' and 'allowed'?
  
  I assumed this shows if an instance whitelisted/allowed another instance.

I don't have the answer but I share your sentiment.
One thing I hated about reddit is the mods would ban you for participating on certain subs. For instance, I got banned from r/WhitePeopleTwitter for commenting in a r/Conservative thread. (I was actually disagreeing with someone, but that's neither here nor there.)
The Fediverse feels like a worse version of that phenomenon. Entire communities are blocked off from each other by the admins of the instance. I fear that Lemmy might become a disjointed group of echo-chambers. Some might argue that reddit already is.
- I don't think that your concerns will happen. As the fediverse could be easy replicated and it is no problem to run an own instance federating with whatever you want AND be part of the rest.
  My guess is that we will see more instances with different tastes if I may call it this.
  By using tools like kbin you are also free to assamble the fediverse you want without the need to follow a single instance only.
  
  By using tools like kbin you are also free to assamble the fediverse you want without the need to follow a single instance only.
  Is there an app version of that?
- Lol yes, I got banned from one of the communism subs for an honestly inoffensive reply I made to a post on the cum town sub. Go figure.
  Anyway, it seems like the answer is to just run your own instance, but I wonder if a small home server might have trouble communicating with other instances, leading to even worse access.
  
  If you're a single user or a small group, a small home server works perfectly well. The requirements are pretty low.

I'm on https://lemmy.world. Apparently the people running it also run a mastodon server with 160k I think? users, so this might be good.
So, something like that works for a "normal" acct I think. I doubt there's a way to avoid making alt accts if you also wanna explore alternative topics and lifestyles.

AFAIK, yes, the answer to have control on which instances are blocked is to run your own instance, that's actually what I did.
For a way to search the number of instances that block certain instance, I don't think there's something like that yet.
- If you turn your server off does that make your communities and account history invisible until you turn it back on?
  
  I think each instance has a copy of the posts and comments.
  For example this post in my instance is https://lemmy.pe1uca.dev/post/834
  But the original one is https://lemmy.one/post/22814
  And then in the instance the community is hosted is https://lemmy.ml/post/1159362
  You can see the ids are different, so if lemmy.one goes down each instance already has a copy (except the images).
  What will probably fail are the interactions, the original instance won't have the new comments and votes. I'm not sure how it works after it comes back online.
- I'm assuming that what you've got is a small personal instance. Does it have any trouble getting content from other instances?
  
  Yes, it's a small instance I'm only intending to use it myself, maybe some other friends later.
  I'm doing it in a VPS with 1 core, 1GB RAM and 25GB SSD (it's the smallest one).
  The only problem I had was because the documentation is a bit outdated, after fixing a single configuration everything has been smooth, I can easily subscribe to any community from any other instance and I can interact no problem.

can an instance have only 1 community for support and then have no content of its own? I believe that many already do (or near to it). This would likely be the recipe for blocking the least and being blocked the least.
- What about an instance with only one user?
  
  self instance? sure, but that's not one you can join persay
- Instance owners would block that kind of instance based on the activity of its users instead.
  
  they certainly can do that. I wonder if we'll get to that point where there are SPAM instances that every other instance will need to deal with

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