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  • My wife and I were Honeymooning in Paris, purchasing subway passes from an automated kiosk, when a guy who was pretending to be really interested in his phone started getting uncomfortably close to her. She felt him touch her, so she elbowed him real hard, knocking the phone out of his hand, and yelling, "Oh no, are you OK, I'm so sorry, I broke your phone!" real loud (which was true, she cracked his screen). I don't think he was expecting a 5'2" woman to assault him, because he grabbed his broken phone and started booking it before I could react.

    A very nice Parisian came over and told us we needed to be more careful and watch ouf for thieves. We thanked him, but my wife was laughing a few moments later because she just assumed he was a pervert. I thought maybe the phone screen had already been broken, and he was trying to run some sort of, "Hey, you broke my phone, give me money!" scam but chickened out when he saw how aggressively my wife reacted. We live in a major American city, so we've experienced crime before, but it never occurred to us that he was trying to pick her pocket. Felt almost quaint, like a Dickens novel.

    • I live in a tourist trap area of the US and got pick pocketed once shortly after moving here. So I am real cautious of strangers getting close. After doing the Pokemon go rounds one night some dude started following me, and the girl I was dating at the time, from the gas station. I come from a much more densely populated area of the US so I immediately recognized it as a threat, and told her to keep walking and I would catch up. I'll admit I was a little too aggressive given the situation, cause I saw a "come to jesus" moment in homie's eyes when he realized how big the dude he was stalking was(I'm easily two standard deviations to the right of bell curve in terms of largeness, but I'm also proportional so most don't realize it on sight).

      I would say I felt bad, but after getting my walker taken and having to go through the bullshit involved, I wasn't about to take a chance. Funny thing is, the girl actually broke up with me cause of that incident and immediately got with a meth head who took her and her family for what they could.

      This story, much like life, has no point other than keep your wallet in a very noticable area.

      Edit: Walker=wallet, though i'm not far from a reliance on either.

      • It's weird moving to places where the relative danger of different crimes vary.

        I grew up in a place where I was mugged at knife point a couple of times. It was a pretty socioeconomically deprived area where this wasn't normal, but it wasn't super abnormal either. One of the times I was mugged, I was in a pretty bad place with my mental health, and I said "if you want my phone, then just fucking stab me for it, because I don't give a fuck anymore". The guy mugging me seemed to recognise me as someone going through some shit, and became super sympathetic. He even asked me if there was anything he could do to help. A friend who was mugged (at knifepoint) in the same rough area one responded by saying "oh come off it, mate" and continuing walking. It's like there was a weird sense of solidarity, because we all knew we lived in a shit hole place with no prospects.

        I later moved to a much safer city, where being out at night felt tremendously safe. Now, I live in a larger city, and none of my previously cultivated instincts for safety are the right fit. I know that I must be more cautious here than I was in the small, posh city I lived in, but also I feel that the kind of caution I need here is quite different to what was necessary in my home town. Without a calibrated sense of risk in this new city, I often find myself being overly cautious. I suppose that's a safer side of caution to err on.

  • I often find Americans abroad to be quite charming in how American they are. Certainly, there are some that are obnoxious (and even their friendliness can be obnoxiousness in a way), but it can be quite endearing; Americans (especially the ones you meet while travelling) are so outgoing, and they're so keen to make connections with people. Like, is it cringe when an American says "oh my great great grandfather was Scottish", as if makes any difference at all that they are 1/16 Scottish? Yeah, somewhat. But after a friend explained to me that she sees it as coming from a deep desire to connect with other people, I began to see it as quite sweet.

    It's part of why I grieve for what's going on in America right now. "American-ness" is a messy, mixed concept, and it would be unreasonable to ignore how much of that concept is deeply problematic. However, I feel that there is goodness within that concept, and the people in power at the moment seem hell bent on destroying or undermining what goodness exists there.

    • Plenty of us are just entitled psychopaths who ate too much lead paint as children, but I think you are correct that the rest of us are looking for connections. We come from a place where our traditions are shallow and our heritage is mostly just awful. We are not only looking to connect, but we are also essentially a bunch of orphans trying to desperately figure out who we are and where we belong.
      I know most other people find it obnoxious, so I never really bring it up, but I do, it's also an invitation to tell me more about who you are and where you come from.

      • As an (expat) American I have always felt a desire to connect with my heritage and experience the old world, despite never having the chance to. It feels crazy to me that people are overseas living where so much history played out, walking old streets past ancient walls and buildings, and often within a short journey to Neolithic sites and old ruins. There are quiet men herding sheep in a windswept field with mossy rock formations just chilling over there beside their prized lamb, Ollie. Americans removed themselves from all of that and over a couple of centuries it became something mythical and out of reach. We are essentially cut off from our own heritage, and are strangers to our own people, but we've been brought up in a culture that makes us quite alien to them when we do make the pilgrimage.

        It's kind of a sad thing, but I've been away from America long enough to understand why Europeans are so put off. Even the most left-leaning Americans need a lot of de-programming. I know I did. Now when my mother visits I am hyper-aware of how different we have become.

  • Hyper individualism. A "fuck you I got mine" mentality. In a country where there is no safety net and you have to suffer for every dime so you can pay a rent just to exist.

    Edit - Human life has no value here beyond its utility to the state. Or a corp. Same difference in an oligarchy.

432 comments