If you were a word, what would it be?

Fucked
- 🤔 If...I may... in which sense?
  
  Mostly financially. Related to hiusing. I don't really wanna get into more details, but I'm essential stuck with my current living situation for the rest of my life, unless I'm willing to lose tens of thousands of dollars (or even more if I try to improve the place I'm currently at instead of cutting my losses and moving at an already big loss). Pressure to secure stable housing for an eventual old age made me make tough decisions that in hindsight were pretty fucking ill-advised.

Resentful.
Probably turning into Bitterness at one point in the future.
- I'm the cousin of resentful: spiteful

Dismay.
That's my baseline experience to some extent just existing here in this reality, and that it's briefly. Always felt like that.

Dandelion
No correlation to the meaning of the word, I just thought "welp, that sounds like me"

Semiautistic
Idk if that's a word, but I'll explain, my Dr. last month told me I have like traces of being autistic
- Semiautistic I could not find it in the Cambridge dictionary nor in the Oxford one. But, through browsing there is an explanation of that.