Comic Strips @lemmy.world doug @lemmy.today 1d ago

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Berkley Mews

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- Despite the fact I would like to be cremated, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what to put on my epitaph.
  
  “What do you want on your tombstone?”
  
  “Pepperoni and sausage.”
  
  (for the uninitiated. also hey that's don stark from that 70's show)
  
  My epitaph is going to be an LLM bot, trained on every email and social media post I've ever made, that every day responds to between 3 and 6 posts or post comments; and picks a random topic based on the Lemmy communities to which I'm subscribed and posts a single random toot on ActivityPub.
  
  And, besides, I believe Lemmy should have reactions.
  
  I'm not sure that's a great idea in my case. A lot of my online activity is me talking about weird sex acts or ploughing femboys or joking about masturbating with probiotic yoghurt to treat yeast infections. So I'm pretty sure my kids don't want to interact with that jaded fucking LLM.
  
  But of it's the real you... and I'm sure that most kids are aware of the stuff their parents think they're being sneaky about. I did.
  
  I think it would be hilarious to connect a speaker to your grave and have the LLM say in a really gravily voice "hmmm sure do love a femboy bussy..." at 2am
  
  🤣
  
  I thought my online comments were weird (they probably are but let whatever the bias is cause effect)
  
  ... How ya doin?
  
  😘
  
  If this happened to me I wonder if people would know that I had died.
  
  I won't be able to enjoy it, but I like the idea that I might be a small news item some day: man dies, continues posting to social media for two years.
  
  I always say I want mine to read "He died the way he lived" and then say how I died. The less sense it makes the better.
  
  Hier ruhen meine Gebeine,
  
  ich wünscht es wären Deine.
  
  Here lie my bones,
  
  I wish yours would lie here instead.
  
  "Confusion."
  
  Spotted the King Crimson enjoyer.
  
  no one enjoys King Crimson, you just let the existential despair wash over you until it decides to let you go
  
  "I'm not dead! Stop this thing! What's going on?! AAAAAHHHH!"
  
  Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back.
  
  Vigo the Carpathian knew how to spit some bars.

21 comments