I packed cheese, beef jerky and some other stuff y'all recommended...

U/mizu I really hope you tell us the dang story after your poopless long weekend

Good luck Godspeed and no poop

Just try to make sure you don't eat a lot of any of these things. All well and good to choose the foods carefully but a gut full exclusively of food that is deliberately geared towards constipation is going to end very badly. Try to eat very little.