So this was me.

I definitely have a hard time consuming media now that I can see the ideology it subtly yet effectively espouses, especially anti-communism. And now that I am outside that, I see how the labor aristocratic people around me basically center their lives around propagandistic fiction and I can't help but see it as disgusting. So certain things like that, I don't think I will ever be able to engage with again and will always call out the politics involved.

I feel like part of being critical of propagandistic fiction is being willing to allow yourself enjoy and especially create alternatives to it. If you say “Marvel movies suck because they’re an extension of the military industrial complex”, you’ll get a few people agreeing with you, but others will just shut down and refuse to listen.

On the other hand, if you say “oh yeah, that movie had cool special effects I guess, that reminds me of the story I’ve been reading about revolutionary super heroes killing slave owners in the civil war”, people will think you’re quirky and cool (and anyone who complains is immediately outed as an annoying slave-owner defending nerd)

You can even criticize things while still participating in them to an extent (you can still talk about the latest Marvel movie with your friends, bring up the interactions between Marvel and the military industrial complex, and continue with talking about the movie, all in a seamless part of the same conversation. Bring it up as a “scary fun fact”.)
Solidarity comrade.

I think we all do, comrade. That manic phase of reading and being red-hot angry about how fucked the system is.

Eventually you realize that you can't hold that level of anger constantly. Or if you do, you're gonna go and do some adventurism and end up in prison.

It's a tight balancing act, but you gotta choose your battles. Enjoy life a little if you're privileged enough to do so, but that doesn't mean don't organize and educate...

I agree.

On the one hand, I agree with the general sentiment. On the other, well. It's not easy, you know? A lot of things that used to bring me entertainment or joy have just ceased to, even before my swerve into ML proper. Sometimes even rudimentary, instinctive acknowledgement of materialism is enough.

To not be empty worded: I'll rant about videogames and movies elsewhere, and focus on one specific example here. There's this fanfic (for the lack of a better term) I used to like, called something like "Humans are space orcs". The basic idea of the author was to highlight some strange things about human biology and behaviour that we take for granted - i.e. having a stupidly corrosive acid right in the middle of our bodies and having to constantly regenerate special cells just to keep it in. Sounds simple fun, right?

Except it doesn't. The author's biases and lack of materialism are so glaring, reading stops being enjoyable and becomes infuriating. I.e. alien species in this setting are essentially categorised into having some single trait that defines them (except for humans, coz we special). One species is obsessed with rules and regulations, but the author fails to actually analyse the implications and just handwaves it as "oh they're bureaucratic haha". Another is apparently obsessed with material (read: monetary) gain, but the author never really connects it with capitalism. Instead it is humans that teach them capitalism! And once again, the author fails in the analysis, instead trying to portray modern day US as essentially what future humanity is. It's annoying.

And it's the same with everything. And on top of that, enjoying simple things (a good book, some miniature painting) gets rather difficult when there's a very real and serious threat of violence and war looming overhead.

Same. Very frustrating to watch/read something I used to enjoy only for it to be full of massive neoliberal pro-capitalist propaganda, so on the nose that it astounds me that I never noticed it before.

As a writer/artist myself, I try to consider the idea that all media is problematic to some extent, and all media contains the biases of their author. So the key is to just work out which stuff I can be less bothered by, and when stuff does bother me, I try to think of it in terms of the people who made it just not considering the implications of their statements and try to avoid taking it "personally."

And with the idea of dangerous things on the horizon, I just don't see the point in being worried about it. It's terrifying, sure, but being paralyzed with fear doesn't help anything or anyone. No one can just work to build socialism 24/7, we all need down time, it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad communist to enjoy some trashy fiction every now and then, even if it is filled with issues because of the author's biases.
It's unhealthy behavior.
- Perhaps. Can't spend my life being constantly frustrated. But what's the solution there? Relax and enjoy? Bit late for that

I suppose that it depends on what exactly you're trying to enjoy.

I feel like I’m still in the middle phase but heading towards going back down. Some things I can’t engage with neutrally as I’m too irritated to just brush past the cognitive dissonance, but with others I follow the mantra “yes, I understand the frustration but lets all take a deep breath and realize you don’t actually care about that” and its made scrolling social media and talking with people a lot easier.

I've mostly stopped caring since its clear nothing is going to change for the better unless something catastrophic happens first. Like for instance famines and other climate change induced supply chain failures forcing people to fight a government that has nothing left to offer them except violence. I'll still be fighting with CPUSA until I die though.

Collapse has to hit for the west to start considering anything new; and when they do, they'll probably consider fascism first to the exclusion of all else, so you're not wrong. I've hit the doomer streak, and don't really see a way to unflip that switch now that the feedback loops have started. Cosigning ComradeSalad, tho; please pick a better org. I don't trust or expect anything out of CPUSA but tailism to reformists.
- We are neither reformist or tailist.
Some people may criticize your comment as being doomer-ish, and I understand that sentiment, but I also know that in certain countries, like my own, it really is going to take something catastrophic to push people into fighting for meaningful changes.

I mean, I live in Canada which means people here are incredibly dismissive and complacent (except Indigenous communities) which is going to require something BIG to wake the masses.
Might want to pick a better org.
- Why?
Yeah, I've stopped being angry.

I'm morally opposed to capitalism. That's enough for me. It needs to die, logically. I'm not emotional about it all. I'm methodical.

Oh yeah, and fancy seeing a CPUSA member here. This place is very anti-CPUSA so I generally stick out like a sore thumb.
- To anyone saying we're an echo-chamber, I'd point them to you as a great example that we do keep around those we disagree with. Wishing you a pleasant day, American!
  
  Edit: I just had to open my mouth, didn't I?

If you want to be absolutely practical about that, not forcing politics onto everything allows you to be a lot easier to live for everyone around you, which is actually good for the cause. A lot of lefty people are super annoying to be around because they do that. In my experience, no one is willing to change their minds about controversial topics to someone who is constantly bringing them. Oppositely a lot of people will accept the views of someone they see as laid back, fun, socially acceptable and intelligent.

it's something you see a lot with atheists, especially those who have just broken free from a religion. getting into arguments with everyone all the time can deter people from what you're desperately trying to say. it's good to try.. plant seeds and water them but you can't just water them all day every day to try to force them to grow. you gotta keep a nice healthy pace.

I love forcing politics into things doe