11mo ago

family sized lasanyer

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OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.
Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party
Me: FUUUUUUU...OK
Day of:
Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds
Broke out the cast iron skillet.
Started working out dough rounds.
Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!
Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry
Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!
Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.
- That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.
- Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  Living space with one or more children
  Pick one.
  
  the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?
- Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?
  
  Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.
- Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol
  
  You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)
  I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?
  
  DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it's different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho
  
  Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show
- When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.
  
  Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.
  
  It was Hellmann's and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling
- This was a long story.
  
  Heh so is the cleanup, I still find little spots of tomato sauce to this day

89 comments