5mo ago

Self perception

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The reaction gif is implying that you aren't a man if you express that you want to feel like one.
Doesn't say that anywhere on the gif
- You are correct, technically it doesn't. It is about kings, and the poster tells you to replace king with man.
  Also technically it is saying that a trans person who tells you that they are a man, is not a real man. I mean trans men are men.
  But I don't think that is a fair reading of the text. But sure you can read the message that I call toxic, as a toxic message to men in general and especially towards trans men. I just don't see where you want to go with that.
  Alternatively, and admittedly, I am reading it in the context of the post in which it is about men expressing that they want to feel manly. Still toxic, and implicitly transphobic, but at least matching the post.
  
  Okay, so why are you allowed to infer things that aren't in the meme but I'm not?
  
  What are you infering? On what ground?
  There is a difference between infering and assuming.
  
  On the grounds it's a fairly common turn of phrase applied to many things and commonly understood to mean if you have to make a big deal of saying something you're not that thing. Something similar to "actions speak louder than words"
  
  I don't agree that it is a common phrase but I will give you that. So what is it saying in the context of the post without being completely besides the point?
  I mean I think you would agree with me, if I would say that, saying "you aren't a good person if you have to say it" would be off-topic as a response to someone who would say that when they hear that someone wants to feel like they are a good person, they think they are a bad person. I am changing the context to highlight why I think it would be completely besides the point. In that case, I think you would be right to take it literally and accept it as a off-topic response. But if it would be a reaction gif, you probably should ask yourself if it is wise to read it literally as an off-topic response or adapt it a little to fit the topic.
  Now back to the real thing, The literal reading is toxic, and e.g. transphobic because it says that coming out makes you not a man. The little adaption that I think would be a valid way to match it in the context, is to change "says" to "says that they want to feel like". Maybe it seems big but I honestly think it is an adaptation required for most reaction gifs or meme templates. But as it is still toxic and transphobic, I am not too interested in arguing whether or not I am wrong to read it like that instead of literally.
  Now you are saying that it is a common phrase that says that if you make a big deal out of being something, you aren't that. That sounds like the literal reading of it. So we are back at off-topic toxic, and e.g. transphobic statement. Because guess what being trans and coming out and transitioning seems like making a big deal out of it. I think it is a big deal and they have very right to do so. I hope their experience is pleasant. At this point, it seems like you think they shouldn't and that doing so makes them not a real e.g. man. I don't think you think that but to me, your argument seems to point there. Would you be motivated to tell me how that is not the logical conclusion?

286 comments