12mo ago

How I cannot be worry??

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103 comments

This is how I think, but my girlfriend doesn't, so sometimes it's really frustrating. I think she is addicted to worrying.
- It can be difficult. My partner has anxiety all the time and it is hard to impart the sense of security and stability that I have to her.
  
  Yeah anxiety is a curse. And "just stop worrying" doesn't help.
  
  Exactly, I've worked so hard and come so far to reach peace. It feels impossible to retrace all those steps with someone who's barely willing. But at least I can be her stability.
- Yup, we're the same way. My SO keeps worrying, "what if X happens? What if Y happens?" and they don't seem to like my answer of, "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." We're quite stable financially, so we're prepared to handle pretty much any surprise, yet she still worries about random things.
  I think some people are just predisposed to anxiety. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that.
  
  Yeah we also have money to handle if something surprising happens, but somehow it doesn't help her worries either.
  It's not every day she worries, but when she does, it's a bit exhausting to listen to, specially since there isn't any action to take to fix it.
  
  Yup, we have the exact same problem.
  I've found, "I don't know, let's look into it" to be pretty effective at switching from worrying to problem solving, and as we go, my SO will usually get over the worrying and apologize for being dramatic. It doesn't always work, but maybe it's worth a shot.
  
  Yeah you are right, that works for me too. I guess what she really wants is someone to just listen and be supportive, and not necessarily solve the problem (since it can't be solved also).
  
  Sometimes they want to be validated, sometimes they want to be assured that it's going to be okay. And I'm bad at telling which is which.

103 comments