1y ago

Hexbear defederated from us

hexbear.net /post/369410

FediLore + Fedidrama @lemmy.ca

Hexbear defederates from lemmy.blahaj.zone

hexbear.net /post/369410

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You cannot leave me because I'm leaving you, well that situation solved itself. That said I am concerned about 196.
- They exited on mutual agreement I guess
  Well technically not mutual agreement until/unless we also defederate from them. Which I still am in support of.
- People are so caught up with hating hexbear users that the whole 196 mod drama is probably going to be overlooked. I'm waiting to see the statement from our instance mods before deciding if this place is really for me
  
  What sort of statement? Except for the ableist comments that occurred last night when I was sleeping, everything else in that post had been actively addressed long before hexbear was on the scene.
  The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.
  
  Thank you for addressing that.
  I was expecting a statement about mod integrity on 196 and Moss leaking DMs to start drama, but after sleeping on it I think that some of the issues raised by HB are somewhat disingenuous (e.g. the transphobia cited). I still have concerns about the maturity of the 196 mod team though.
  For what it's worth, this whole situation just shows how good of an admin you are. For that I don't think I'm leaving
  
  The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.
  Thank you :)
  
  if that screenshot of the mod log isn’t leaving out important context then this looks pretty bad, hexbear users aren’t alone in seeing a decent amount of reactionary language and talking points here in the past few weeks. in all fairness tho most of it probably isn’t intentional
  
  Yeah I'm all out. I'll keep modding my art and nsfw comms (though they're somewhat inactive) but that's as far as I'll go.
  
  I'm out of the loop. Whats going on with the mods on 196?
  
  This contains the most recent issue: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1989401
  There was also leaking DMs, subtle transphobia / chaser issues (a bit like the reddit 196). If you read the hexbear post they have screenshots
  
  I'm not a chaser, please stop with that. It's one quote that was taken totally out of context.
  https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2120879
  
  Thanks 😊
  
  Read the hexbear post in the OP, they explain it pretty well.
- Isn’t it funny how there were no complaints until there was a post here asking about defederation?
  
  There weren't any complaints until the mod of the second largest comm on this instance started throwing around slurs and leaking dms - also hexbear admins were unaware of previous chaser things the mod had publicly defended on 196 until a blahaj user brought it up in a thread about a blahaj user claiming enbys on hexbear were faking being non binary for clout (the enbyphobic comment was pretty swiftly deleted by the mods here after it was brought to their attention thankfully)
  
  What chaser things have I defended?? I'm trans I don't see how I could be a chaser and I don't even know what I could do to earn the title. It seems like this post was never brought to our attention, because we check every report we receive and remove the ones that should be removed. What we don't check, however, is every post as we do not have the mod numbers for that. We can only see what you guys bring to our attention through reports.
  
  They're referring to the screenshot of a post where you said a user's comment about who they are attracted to was not transphobic and to stop reporting it.
  IIRC, at the time it lead to the thread being removed due to other transphobic comments. When asked Ada clarified that the comment hexbear is complaining about as being a chaser was not the reason for this post:
  https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/1246514
  
  Yeah neither of us viewed the comment as a problem. There was a bunch of stuff surrounding it, and the user did end up getting some stuff removed, and I did end up having to delete the thread, but none of that was due to the original comment
  
  A blahaj user posted a link to this screenshot of you publicly defending a cishet man talking about how they would like to have sex with a trans man and explicitly saying their fetishisation would be exactly negating what the trans man wanted to do with his body
  
  They provided additional context but since the comment was on a hexbear thread and hexbear is currently down I can't link to it unfortunately
  
  Oh yeah I remember this whole fiasco. The argument was literally just attraction to body types/features versus attraction to genders. This person was expressing that they're only attracted to archetypaly "female" body features but are open to dating any one of any gender identity. The whole fight is basically just people thinking that they're fetishizing trans men when they're just expressing that well they're fine with dating someone with a masculine identity, they don't think it would work if the person wasn't comfortable in a feminine body. I don't really want to get into this again, but there's nothing wrong with that in it of itself.
  
  Some folks refuse to believe there are different levels of dysphoria. Like so many things, it's a spectrum.
  
  Seriously! I'm transfem, have been for years, 2 years on hormones, but I have no problem with my voice. Let it be masculine! Who the fuck cares. It doesn't matter! Lot of trans people feel similar ways about different things
  
  Due to hormone issues, I was basically presented with a choice to transition if I wanted. It was a serious consideration that I had to make. Took over a year to decide. I wished I was fem (still kinda do) but I couldn't part with my lil buddy. Femboys weren't really a thing back then, so yeah. Not every GQ person needs to want to undergo GRS to "qualify" as trans. Gatekeepy bullshit.
  
  REAL. thank you for sharing your story!
  
  Hi, that was me (on my kbin account). That's a quote pulled out of context. It was just a response to a direct question about whether I personally was attracted to trans men. It's not a fetishization.
  
  As politely as I can put it, as a trans woman I wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship with anybody who I knew thought like that about other trans people - there's a reason 8 separate people reported it
  
  That's why I said it probably wouldn't work. Most trans people would feel uncomfortable in that situation, so of course we wouldn't pursue a relationship.
  I did know someone (casually, did not date) who was a pre-transition trans man who wasn't terribly bothered by letting cis men enjoy his boobs, which is why I brought up that specific scenario. I don't know if he dated cis men, but it wouldn't surprise me. I also assume that if he did, then the relationship would probably stay pretty casual with a planned end date of whenever he started physically transitioning.
  There's also a reason Moss - and most people, including Ada - were frustrated enough with the reports to publicly say "this is not transphobia". Because it's not, and some people are too quick to be triggered.
  
  Because it's not, and some people are too quick to be triggered.
  It helps that there was an entire instance trawling our posts, looking for any controversy to amplify into the short story du jour.
  I’m all for talking about these things and figuring out what norms we want to uphold in our spaces. I’m not in favor of waves hands whatever this has turned out to be.

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