3d ago

I am not a builder… but that does not seem right

You're viewing a single thread.

116 comments

This is what happens when my wife goes...honey let's move the TV to the left! Its not centered. Oh that's not enough! Let's try another 1.5"! Oh! Not enough! ...not enough!.... Not enough!....
Do not marry. Its hell. But if you do, patch that wall real good.... Oh I can still see the seam! Sand it again! Yes orange peal...nope! The paint looks a little off. Paint the room!. Oh you're gonna hate me...can you move the TV another 1.5" please?
- Finally someone gets it!
- ...are you OK?
- I hope you're joking when you say your marriage is hell. If you're not, maybe consider not being married? You deserve to not live in hell.
  
  It's a joke but it is hell in many respects. I like the way my hell makes me feel.
  Like if she starts a one way conversation that extends for one hour and you don't want to be the receiver so you move a little to test the waters but then she screams at you for walking away.
  Logic says...well this wonderful person could do better with a wall. But nah! Its you! Your must listen to all the unactionable statements. Yup, that's marriage. I've been here for almost a quarter century.
  No matter what society says marriage is to make children and have them grow and become part of the society. Love is relatively new. We're more like cattle who work on things for a company and then purchase those things at a discount so they profit off that discount... Whether it is a profit based on pure time to money to money to time transactions or time to minerals to money to time transactions. The government wants you married to make children. So don't marry for that and keep it open at all times. Like the very best friendship you ever had regardless of all the god damn yada yada yada. Once she's done with that, it's all perfectly fine. Just shut down and keep the ears listening. You can mentally escape to a six flags....you're about to drop into an outside spin loop!...and so then I said to her "heck no!"...and she walked away! Can you believe it?...and you drop! Noooooooo!.....she continues.... It wasn't that exciting! LOL. Life's a cookie, take a bite...Noooo! Lemon cake!!! Fine take another bite!
  
  Think I'll just stay single and keep doing whatever the fuck I want at all times.
  
  I'm on my second marriage, 10 years in this one and 13 in the first.
  My relationship is easy. We don't argue, we have the same goals, she's my best friend, sex is a science where we know the other's responses and are creative. We face hard things together. I could go on. It's easy to love her.
  Nothing like my first marriage, it was hell.
  
  Ah that's the spirit!
  
  This is entirely alien to me, and I can't understand it, but... As long as you're happy? I hope you are. For the most part, at least. If someone insisted on talking at me for long periods I'd lose my dang mind.
  
  This type of wife hatred is commonly mined for nuggets of supposed comedic gold. "I hate my wife" is a type of comedy for guys that's not very dissimilar from "I hate my kids and love wine" for moms.
  This type of comedy was becoming pretty outmoded during the Obama years, but the MAGA zoomers in coalition with their older counterparts are trying to bring it all back.
  My personal opinion is that it sucks, often isn't funny at all, and that if you really hate your wife so much you should consider divorce.
  
  God, thank you. I have a long history of trauma such that 'jokes' about an unfun, unhealthy life aren't fucking funny when they could be a cry for help in 'joke' form. I'd much rather offer someone who's 'joking' the support they might be too afraid to ask for than to 'laugh' at a 'joke' about a bad time.
  
  yeah you see this type of thing lampooned as "straights humor" now
  
  Oh my god its a joke. That's what the internet is for. I'm not gonna discuss the state of my roof tiles or how I enjoy mowing my lawn. Good day though! That's important!
  
  Zing!
- I sleep in a big bed at home with my wife

116 comments