your first point is a pretty good one, ill give this a deeper thought and see what conclusion i make on whether to keep using the word or not.
the second point is not as great, i dont ever see a black person calling anyone the hard r. i feel like the "friendly" n word is a different word entirely, even if it has the same origin. but that doesnt matter, ill focus on ur first one and will think about it further
i dont think most people associate it with behaving like a woman, at least i dont ever use it like that
if i hit my foot on something and say "you -idontwannagetbanned-!" theres no association with any womanlike behavior lol
same with like an annoying boss fight in a video game, i might call it that, not thinking even for a nanosecond that the behaviour is in any way womanly
i just use it as a more vulgar synonym for "annoying" really. i dont associate women with being annoying nor do i think that being annoying is a female trait. i would hope that most people think the same too but im ready to be proven wrong.
i hear the word relatively often from women who do use it against women too so in my experience theres not much of a case for it being a slur if the hurt group uses it as often or more often than others
im not really interested in this that much so im not sure what the truth is but it just seems like a piece of shit got replaced by another piece of shit but with eu flavouring
i'm not clicking ur link buddy, but good luck