Real answer: there's been an uptick in the amount of content lately, which is great. I've also unfortunately noticed an uptick in belligerent comments, which often detracts from the conversations taking place.
I don't generally say hateful things, so no risk of being censored for that, and I like that my instance doesn't censor anything that could possibly be considered a slur the way .ml does.
I was originally on .ml and I remember seeing a comment that had a legitimate use of a word that could be considered a slur in another context. I don't remember the exact scenario, but it was something equivalent to saying "response time removedation" in relation to drunk driving. And "removedation" was censored, which created unnecessary confusion. I'd been thinking of switching instances anyway, and that silly little example is what pushed me over the edge. I guess I'd rather not be cushioned from every word that might be hurtful, especially when doing so can cause confusion.
No hate or disrespect to .ml, by the way - I'm very grateful to Dessalines and crew for creating lemmy and Jerboa, and I respect their right to administer their instance the way they see fit. To me that's the neat thing about the fediverse - it allows for a "different strokes for different folks" approach. :)
This is a big part of it, to be honest. Dragonfucker eagerly takes offense when people don't use the "drag" pronoun, but most of the time users aren't even looking at handles, and just defaulting to "they" as a general-use pronoun.
you'd know if someone was actually identifying as an attack helicopter as opposed to trolling by saying so, right?
IRL maybe, but the issue here is that (at least from what I've observed) dragonfucker can be pretty confrontational, as if seeking a fight. It's obnoxious behavior and generally I roll my eyes and move along. I do think identifying as a "dragonfucker" for gender is hard to take as anything other than a long-running troll job, particularly because 1) dragons aren't real and even if they were, 2) "dragonfucker" is surely a hobby or job description, not a gender. Most reasonable people would find this ludicrous at first glance, and have their opinion confirmed by this user's strident tone and eagerness to take offense. It seems really unlikely that this person sincerely identifies as a dragonfucker (and honestly I can't even believe we're having this debate).
I really try to be balanced and understanding, but this user in particular seems to seek negative attention. Which is fine I guess, but I feel bad for anyone who falls into that trap.
It's where the partnership is mostly focused on the kids, leaving very little time for the parents to connect. I see this more and more with how heavily scheduled kids are now. Parents have to schlep them from school to sports to playdates to music lessons, etc... it seems so overwhelming. And people don't seem to use babysitters anymore so it's rare the parents get adult time together to go out on a date, listen to live music, go dancing, see a movie, etc - just be people in love together and focus on each other. I think time together without the kids is vital to keeping a connection with your partner. Otherwise everything is parenting and logistical planning. You need balance.
I've heard "quarterlife crisis" used for this before. I think a quarterlife crisis is different in some key ways from a midlife crisis, and it makes some sense to distinguish between the two. I think more than comparison to others' achievements, these crises have malaise/discontent at their cores. By the time you reach a midlife crisis, it can be extremely hard to make changes that will reinvigorate you: a lot of the time you're pretty stuck - in that boring job, with that big mortgage, in that "Parents, Inc." marriage, with those needy kids. When you're going through a quarterlife crisis, I think it's that post-college "is this all there is?" doldrums. But at that age there are fewer variables and change might be tough, but still easier because there are fewer people relying on you.
I still use minidiscs!