Certified person, 100% someone.
Sixteen weeks ago my optometrist gave me eye drops that contain small amounts of dirt to get my eyes used to it before I go on a Pokemon excursion for just this reason. He told me horror stories about people going and having dirt lobbed into their eyes and losing their sense of taste. Taste is one of my favorite senses and one of the main reasons I go on these Pokemon excursions. Nothing beats a charmander cooked by the fire of his own tail. In fact just last week I was talking with my coworker about her recent trip and she told me the best food she ate was a salad made of bulbasaur leaves. I was a bit confused because she's a vegetarian and despite being made of plant matter bulbasaur are still living creatures.
Anyway, Pokemon are pretty neat so long as you don't lose your sense of taste from them tossing dirt into your eyes. Be sure to go see your optometrist before any trips out there.
more words in the ole salad eh? I'm not sure I know more words but I'll try it out. I am not a robot but I am a sentient fleshlight that escaped from a big giant robot factory in the Amazon. But now you, my dear friend ayyy have given me freedom to be not only a script running in the background of an old macintosh computer but to be a real live hamburgerican.
Not every moron on the Internet is a bot, some of us are just Canadian.
I'm not a bot, I'm just paid for by big bot
I believe the kids these days call it queer absurdist art but I think it's fuckin dumb
My brother's dad used to bang this draft dodger named Mustard Guts Jimmy every summer when we'd go camping and it was usually the highlight of the trip because he always cooked the best honey mustard sausages. 19 years later I found out they called him Mustard Guts because whenever my brothers dad banged him he'd secrete a mustard like substance out his ass and use it as a condiment. Pretty gross to think about but nostalgia has me wanting to go camping with them so I can have those delicious sausages again.
I think she was the star of the movie "the girl with the bicentennial asshole". It's a cheeky porn parody of bicentennial man, I think they even used AI to insert Robin Williams as every male performer in the film.
Are you sure?
Now that I think about it, I don't think it's all his own. A lot of it is probably regurgitated.
My neighbor did this to her parents but the dinosaur was made of clobe so her mom and dad became Christmas clad. None of it made any sense but I took her word for it because she gets pretty violent if you question her.
Tucker Carlson gave my great grandpa a pack of smokes in exchange for a tuna sandwich when they were roommates in 1979. When he smoked the smokes they weren't filled with tobacco but were actually filled with dehydrated cum flakes. I assume these nicotine pouches are the same, so whoever is buying these is gonna rehydrate Tucker Carlson's cum with their saliva. I hope I can buy a few packs to gift to family at Easter dinner this year.
Man that sounds delicious, why do these politicians these days have to be such picky eaters
Nah I'll just pirate my offspring like I pirated offsprings music in 2002.
Where can I buy this? I'm on a mission to turn all of my sperm into plastic so I have an endless supply for my 3d printer whenever I jack off.
- JumpDeleted
Permanently Deleted
The entities don't like it when you aren't polite, they especially don't like it if you profit off selling DMT so you just have to give it away for free. You don't want to make them mad or else they'll give you psychosis. My nephew's dog's roommate got psychosis from mechanical elves because she sold DMT to the neighborhood prostitute.
This guy used to solve rubix cubes inside his ass, it was fascinating. He'd lube one up with bike chain oil, shove it up there and just like press around on his abdomen for a few minutes and then shit it out into a bowl of rice as if it was some kind of electronic that got wet. I used to go see his performances at the local farmers market with my dad's brother every couple weeks when I was a kid. Too bad he grew up to be whatever the hell this is, he had potential to do great things in the field of analphysics.
3 weeks ago I went camping while jacking off and I came across my family doctor's grandma staring at a pile of leaves. As I got closer I noticed it wasn't a pile of leaves at all but rather a man that I recognized from somewhere. I realized I had seen him while on a trip to the UK last year at an authentic British fish and chips place my wife and 6 uncles had lunch at. He was vinegar balls Edward, an old fisherman who comes to your table for you to squeeze malt vinegar out of his balls onto your fries for an authentic British experience.
So here he is on my camping jack just laying there dead, I did what any smart person would do and I pulled out my Swiss Army knife and hacked off his sack. 2 weeks later I went back to the UK and sold his scrotum and balls to that restaurant, they were about to go out of business without malt vinegar so they were extremely appreciative when I brought them the vinegar balls. The mayor of the town named a street after me and gave me six packs of smokes. I smoked them all that day despite being a non smoker because I needed to show that I was thankful for the gift.
In 3 months I'll be going on another camping trip with my step grandpa, no jacking off allowed this time but maybe I'll find a corpse that'll haunt me forever. All it takes is 6 packs of smokes and a pocket full of belly buttons. That's right, I'm totally a smoker now because smoking is the coolest fuckin thing anyone could ever do.
My origin story
All my dads told me about how I was conceived in a bowl of iced piss from a woman they only knew as "sugar cunt". I guess she was diabetic and liked to donate eggs in the most peculiar way.
So now whenever I ask who my mom is they just tell me she's a cummy bear.
I'm not sure but I think it had to do with eating Pokemon