Most people think it's when your brain is flooding with dopamine or other 'happy' chemicals.
Wise people realize it's the ability to self-regulate and cope well with life's problems and lows, and appreciate it's joys without being bitter over them not lasting forever.
yeah. i run into this so much. i meet so many people who are so angry with me because my/their life is not what they think it should be. it's so fucking weird to me that people think that way.
like I've had people scream at me for not owning a BMW. I have never ever wanted one ever in my life... and if you tell them that they get ANGRIER.
This is a great take. It's sad that most 'self help' is not this clear or articulate... mostly because it's snake oil that's about feelings and not about pragmatic choices.
Unhappy people never make pragmatic choices... they are always chasing these abstract nonsense concepts that they will never attain, because they are not attainable. Wanting to be good at something is very different and vague, but setting a reasonable goal of wanting to achieve something in a set time is is a way to build a rewarding and self-validating life. Especially if it's set against yourself. "I want to be 1m faster in my 5K run" is clear and attainable goal, but saying "I want to win every 5K I enter this year" is one that is going to lead to failure.
And most people setup their goals very much like the latter. Every miserable person I meet is just... often very angry they aren't leading a lifestyle of fame and wealth, and rather than making smart choices to enhance their improve es year by year, they just go on debt binges or other self-destructive choices that move their further away from their desires. And often those desire aren't even really their own... they are just stuff they are convinced they want because other people want it and they need to want it too otherwise people won't like them...
amen. seeking fulfillment in others is the surefire way to be miserable. the most miserable people I have known were the ones who entirely derived their worth from others approval, and often it was so bad they had no internal validation mechanisms and often very poor internal regulation and they were seeking someone external to do their regulation for them.
doesn't have to be masturbation. plenty of people are addicted to sex with strangers or other types of coping mechanisms.
sex is problematic because it's it's seeking a short term high. like drugs, gambling, junk food etc. all of these mess with your brain and create lead to mal-adaptive brain chemistry. being high/chasing high isn't what happiness is.
I relate. i really don't get why people HATE curiosity. They are offended by it. It seems worse now than it was years ago. Like I ask people questions about why they like things and instead of being being glad to discuss it they get UPSET and start telling me what an asshole I am for asking them why/how they got into something.
Last month I was on a first date and she was into Tennis. I was asking her about it and she got angry with me because I was so 'ignorant'. Like... yeah that's why I'm asking you so I can be less ignorant!
By realizing how unhappy you are when you're not by yourself.
Most of my life I was really unhappy and it was always because of forced socialization with people I didn't like and who didn't like me. My first job out of college when I no longer had to socialize with people... all the sudden all my depression and negative feelings disappeared. Being alone and only interacting with people when/where I wanted... was super liberating.
And it's only gotten better with time. I do get along with people... but not very many because the people I like generally leave me alone and leave others alone. It's people's incessant need to make other people conform to their expectations that drives me insane. I grew up in a family/town that loved conformity and hated anything/anyone different. College was better, but still a lot of conformity pushers, but grad school and my career are great because the people there were not preoccupied in judging other people for being different than them and actually valued it. I'm finally at the point in my life where I will never have a friend or a partner who ever again who tries to force me to like what they like or behave the way they want me to behave.
And when I think about my friends that have lasted... that is the common thread. They never asked anything from me, they just take me as I am and I take them as they are and we like that about each other.
The case you are linking to involves $5000+ bikes. That's not petty theft, that's similar to car theft. The crime is already grand larceny per theft. Of course with that amount of money people are going to be way more motivated, and it's going to be a small subset of very wealthy enthusiasts. The vast majority of bikes people ride and that get stolen are in the $100 range, usually by homeless people who part them out for scrap metal to get money for drugs. In my city any homeless encampment has piles of stolen bikes that are torn apart because the alloy parts are what they can scrap for some decent money. The steel is worthless.
I was 15/16 she was 14/15. We were in drama club together and dated for 6 months and I really loved her. She broke my heart when she got 'bored' with me. She had amazing boobs and I have never dated anyone else with such great boobs. We lost our virginity to each other. We just hung out a lot at the movies, the record store, and with our friends. We both really liked movies.
I actually hung out with her a few times, years later. We went to some concerts together when she was between boyfriends. She ended up dropping out of college and being a groupie and doing a lot of drugs.
My next girlfriend after her was awful. But the one after that was pretty good.
My cat died last week and it sucks balls and I haven't slept in over a week. It will take a long time to get over it, he died suddenly and I spent an entire day in the ER trying to save his life but it didn't work. He was only 9 years old. He was an amazing cat who went on hikes, bike rides, and walked with me and my dog almost everyday. He also traveled with me and went to parties and loved meeting new people. I don't know if I will ever be lucky enough to have such an amazing cat again.
I am trying to date again since November and it also sucks balls. People I go out with are super mean. I had to cancel a date this weekend and the woman basically told me to go fuck myself for being depressed about losing my cat. I hate how awful, sexist, and angry most women I meet are. Of my last 4 dates, one person was nice, and the other 3 were incredibly rude and just whined at me for an hour about how poor they are (they were all rich people).
Otherwise my life is great. I am doing great at work and finally seeing a lot of my suggestions get implemented and I got an extra week of vacation in lieu of a raise. My hobbies are going well and my fitness is getting way better after some bad injuries/accidents last year that tanked it. My diet has improved too thanks to the training and my dog and I have been doing adv training classes and she really loves having a job. She is also struggling with the loss of our cat be this week she is wagging her tail again and being happier.
Just cite any hard data on an issue, like population numbers, or economic stuff.
If it challenges or disproves someone's point, they will claim it's a lie, and/or report you for trolling.
That or they will go find some other data that is biased to show you how 'wrong' you are or claim it's all part of a 'conspiracy'. Because the US census is a conspiracy.
Street Bike theft is a trivial crime that isn't worth wasting resources on. Most bikes are petty larceny unless they are $1000+ and that is the value of the bike at the time of theft, not the fact you paid $3000 for it 5 years ago.
Typically when the police are involved it's organized crime situations of mass bike theft from shops or containers that bring much higher chargers.
Most people think it's when your brain is flooding with dopamine or other 'happy' chemicals.
Wise people realize it's the ability to self-regulate and cope well with life's problems and lows, and appreciate it's joys without being bitter over them not lasting forever.