Back in the 1930s, Dorothy Spencer published a short book on domestic discipline. In this plan, she proposes that to discipline their wives, men only spank on the bare bottom with their hands. HOWEVER, if the husband must be disciplined, then SHE is to spank HIM with an implement, such as a strap or cane.

In this way, the system is equal to both parties in the relationship. This was before the time of LGBTQ+ inclusion, but one could see the same method working for same sex and nonbinary partners as well.

At the link is the full text of that old book, hopefully perhaps still useful for some.