Remote View
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169 comments
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As a gentleman, I'd offer to hold the steering wheel so she has an easier time aiming her lance at oncoming traffic.
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She’s in the passenger seat, you can see the car in the background is also right hand drive
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Then I would definitely hold the steering wheel.
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Oh, that makes it easier!
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Let's be honest: she's probably not a very good driver. They didn't even have cars back then, this must be a lot to process for her.
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Become the damsel in distress naturally (I'm a 6'2 bearded man)
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Wouldn't it be nice to be the little spoon once in a while?
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Here, here!
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The bachelor in distress then
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I'm a 5'6 beardless man, we could make this a leaning Tower of Pisa
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What makes you think I'm not already similarly equipped?
(Any good excuse to trot out this heavy bastard, which I don't have occasion to do often enough anymore. It could really use a polish. There's a project for the weekend...)
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What's the best way to polish that?
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Give it to your squire.
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Take it to Poland?
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I usually attack it with a terrycloth and some Flitz. A little will go a surprisingly long way.
There are various methods of oiling, waxing, or otherwise preserving it afterwards. I prefer boiled linseed oil for that, personally.
In Ye Modern Times, you could also just make your mail out of something that doesn't rust. I didn't, though.
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Clothes dryer and a bucket of sand would probably work.
Plus you can sell the self-dismantled dryer for parts after.
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I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT
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GET IN LOSER. WE’RE GOING DUNGEON DIVING
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WE CAN'T STOP HERE THIS IS DRAGON COUNTRY
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lighting bolt lighting bolt lighting bolt
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You. I like you.
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"I'm glad you brought protection"
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what i'm told
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Not another one knight stand!
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Take her to paladinner and a movie?
(Sorry.)
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beg her to marry me
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I hear women love being begged for things
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It greaves me to say it, but I'd pull her into a warm vambrace and try to tap that cuirass.
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I love this.
Now get out.
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Laugh at everyone who mocked me for carrying a SAK around.
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Except that's the bottle opener...
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CALL THE LOCKSMITH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sauce: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
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I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith.
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Locksmith lawyering intensifies
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Get excited about where ever we're going because I know it should be awesome
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Looks like I'm in for a good knight!
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One knight stand?
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The last knight standing must be a good knight.
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We take Jerusalem!
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This is the right answer
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You’ve got mail!
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FE-mail. (Because Fe is the chemical symbol for iron.)
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You might be juuuust nerdy enough to win this fair knight's favor!
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Get either a piercing weapon to exploit weak points or a bludgeoning weapon to transmit force through the plate, because she's clearly here to do battle. Dinner can come AFTER I've defended my honor.
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Yep, she's a keeper.
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Marry her.
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I sense one or two potential red flags.
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If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on itEdit: before any nerds weigh in, I know that's not ring mail.
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WD40
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"Glad to see you brought protection." 😈
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I would think there's a fair chance she might be interested in hearing all about my 18th level Paladin!
Gosh, is it warm in here?
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Rejoice! She brought protection!
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Pretty iron-clad, too.
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Immediately go buy a can opener?
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What's a can opener? Kind of NSFW - like not really, but if someone walks in on you watching you'll have some explaining to do.
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Yeaaahhhh. This is definitely still falling under the NSFW Category. :D
Not porn per se. But definitely not something to have playing at work. ^^
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I would let her pull my sword for sure
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Unfortunately, you have an Ex-caliber sword.
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Marry her?
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You don't need to put a ring on it...
... unless she was going to expand on the chain mail coif; then you'll need lots of rings.
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Do you really want to be the first partner not to add a link to the chain?
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Ask if her father was possibly a little overprotective.
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'No daughter of mine is going out on a date without a full set of protection!'
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You can never know when you end up in a battle.
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Marry her!
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That's a long wait for sex
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They say dress for the job you want...
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Enjoy the ren faire.
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This is the right answer. Maybe put my own gear on before we head out!
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Take Jerusalem! Deus Vult!
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The only right answer.
I guess "joust her right then and there" also would be acceptable.
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Girl, you're dressed to slay tonight.
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Ask her if the maille is butted or riveted
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Is your armor as riveted as I am?
Is your armor butted? ...would you like it to be?
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Let her conquer me.
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Wife
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"Oh shit. Why didn't you tell me we were going to a ren faire/Medieval Times? I would have dressed up too!"
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Traditionally, thrust. Thrust hard, aim for the belly.
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"Hey I got your two handed sword right here!"
grabs crotch
she takes a look
"Oh that's more like a little pocket knife isn't it?"
makes sad hurt male ego noises*\
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I'm underdressed and didn't know it.
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You can hold her lance and sheathe her sword.
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I'll let her sheath her sword any day.
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"I said we meat at night, not as knight"
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A duel it is then. Finishes last of my wine
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Take her on a crusade to concur the holy land, start a quest to find the Holy Grail, and show her how to slay the dragon.
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I concur
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Badass.
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kneels down, bowing my head against the flat of her long sword
"By the Lady before whom this sanctuary is holy, I will be true and faithful, and love all which she loves and shun all which she shuns, according to the laws of God and the order of the world. Nor will I ever with will or action, through word or deed, do anything which is unpleasing to her, on condition that she will hold to me as I shall deserve it, and that she will perform everything as it was in our agreement when I submitted myself to her and chose her will."
Then I'd take her out for pizza and bowling.
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We going to Medieval Times!
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Time to get medieval on dat ass.
169 comments