Trump, 79, Admits He Might Not Get Into Heaven
Trump, 79, Admits He Is Probably Not Going to Heaven
Pedo knows that God knows the truth.
Archive article: https://archive.is/qJDva
Got excited when I read “Trump, 79,…”
Yeah, I still have champagne in the fridge from his last health scare.
So much headline baiting these days
When it happens, the first we'll hear of it is out of the blue some random ewoks will start singing Yub-nub.
GOD DAMNIT
I saw "Trump, 79..." And my heart thought that was an obituary and it knew joy. For one minor fleeting second.
That's how I felt for that week-ish when he disappeared and no one was confirming he wasn't dead.
Oh, wow, really? Ok, was it all the child raping and the life of crime that makes him think this?
I'm guessing Trump got some bad news from a real doctor after his second "annual visit" to Walter Reed hospital.
I fucking hope so.
Fingers crossed it's a nice bout of inoperable and debilitating cancer.
"Hey! Welcome to Heaven! Congratulations! You lived a virtuous life free of sin and full of good deeds. How would you like to spend eternity?"
"Where's Donald Trump!?!?"
"Uhh...he's very much in Hell...he wasn't exactly...Heaven...material."
"Yeah, I know. I'd like to spend my eternity in Hell watching him burn!"
"sighs Are you sure? This is an eternity you're talking about here."
"Did I stutter?"
"sighs loudly No...no you didn't, portal opens..."
"Ok, but all the good seats are taken. You'll be way in the back at this point."
It is hell after all
That would require heaven to be real first. Old man turnip knows this. We all saw how he holds a bible. His fundie bootlickers should realize this but since he hates the same things they do they're blinded to the fact he hates them too.
And fuck Stephen Miller.
I don't know that President Pedophile actually knows that heaven isn't real.
He has the same understanding of heaven that my dad has. He believes if he is what he thinks a Christian is, he can just pretend to be sorry at the end and God has to let him in. However, he's never actually paid any attention to anything the Bible says about what Jesus is.
Also, if it's all just a bullshit scam to him, why would he ever suggest there's a possibility that God wouldn't embrace him? There's no benefit to that, only risk. What if some of his deluded followers start to question if he was really sent by God?
This.
Nearly every "Christian" I know acts like a.) they've never read their Bible and B.) their God has the mental capacity of a 7 year old child.
As people age, they start to think about what comes next, and the idea of an afterlife is a lot more appealing than nothingness. I think a lot of non-religious older folks go all in on Pascal's Wager when they are faced with their own mortality.
El Taco should have thought of that before he spent a lifetime as a rapist piece of shit. But maybe he can convert to Catholicism and buy off the Pope*!
*this is not how indulgences actually work and would not actually help
did you just post about how the christian kingdom of heaven works
If he's willing to admit that publicly, then I'll bet deep down he knows he's going down in the history books as one of the (if not the) worst presidents America ever had. It's a shame he's not likely to still be around to see the full devastation of the country his actions this year are about to lead to, and hopefully the ultimate rejection of everything he worked for once the sheep are finally no longer under his spell.
I think he thinks he's a great president, but knows all the raping, sexual assault, battery, and adultery are going to be a tough sell
Yeah, you're probably right - it's pretty typical for someone like that to justify the hate they get to themselves by telling themselves they're simply "misunderstood," and that people will learn to appreciate his "genius" later. MAGAt coping all the way to the top.
"Rumor has it he'll have gas under 2$/gal by December"
"most associated name with a potential anti-christ ponders how he might not get into heaven"
Nero?
This actually ties together a lot of his actions in the past while. This is what's on his mind.
He thinks a Nobel peace prize will cancel out the other stuff. But he thinks it's just the actual prize... Like it's a secret key... Not the being a good person who deserves the prize.
Maybe he's planning to argue his case with St. Peter and wants to accumulate proof of his deeds.
There is always a guaranteed way to get into heaven and that is confess to all your sins, live on TV, with the names of co-conspirators as well.
I just thought of a great way for the current Pope to really make a name for himself as the one to stop so much evil pedo shit. Man, talk about rehabbing the image of the church (in the minds of people who pay little enough attention).
Live global broadcast of Trump doing confession with the pope. Trump info dumps either with a camera in the confession booth, or by making a public statement afterward as penance, even if he just reads a prepared statement in either case.
Then the pope says ok you're going to heaven, and the rest of us try to get the gears of justice turning again.
Start shaking down the Pope, and the priests and maybe he can get elected as a cardinal and then he can get the rules changed? Worked for him once, I mean...
Don't think it'd work with THIS Pope, but who knows
If there is a heaven, and people like Trump get in, send me straight to hell.
I don't think even Hell wants him at this point
He's not going to live to see the midterms.
Stop, im gonna cum
spray it all over me baby.
Damn I'm surprised how confident he sounds about that
Can’t get into heaven if you’re fucking satan. Maybe he’d rather not go to heaven so him and satan can raise their demonic butt baby together in hell.
Stay in limbo for eternity you fat rapist pedophile
He'll be fine. Trump is going to have a long healthy life because with modern conservatives, hell has a waiting list.
I saw the title and was gonna get ready to piss on a grave
Release the un redacted Epstein list
Create a universal healthcare system
Create free college
Abolish ice, Stop kidnapping people and pass a bipartisan immigration reform bill
Defund Israel
Defund palantir
Enact a 90% tax rate on capital gains and income over 1 million a year.
Hire back everyone you fired
Donate all your wealth to charity
It’s a start. Might not get you into heaven but you may get out of the deepest circle of hell
wow more kayfabe thanks OP i'll put this in the kayfabe outhouse
This tells me that even he knows his candle's sputtering out. I just hope he's snuffed soon; it'd make a wonderful Christmas gift.
Depends. Is it the OLD TESTAMENT God? If so, tRump will fit right in.
That's impossible. You can't campaign for a Nobel Peace prize and not think you're going to heaven. It makes no sense.
Catholics consider the idea that any living person can be sure of getting into heaven a heresy. Trump isn't Catholic but he's still not saying anything theologically controversial here.
That’s not at all a modern American “nondenominational” Protestant attitude though. If you are saved, you are supposed to be assured that you are getting into Heaven.
That's true, and I think that Trump is actually not a Catholic theologian but rather that he is expressing the view, common among cultural Christians today, that God weighs a person's good and bad deeds against each other. There's still the hope for divine forgiveness in this view, but the abandonment of the idea of unearned grace is contrary to the teachings of every Christian denomination, as far as I know.
Yeah because reconciliation isn't a thing or anything ..
Confession is not permanent, in the sense that it does not absolve the penitent of future sin. That's one reason why last rites are important.
CANON XVI.-If any one saith, that he will for certain, of an absolute and infallible certainty, have that great gift of perseverance unto the end,-unless he have learned this by special revelation; let him be anathema.
“You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:25)
Kinda makes you wonder how it’s possible to be pro-capitalist and pro-Christian. Or.. in other words, how it’s possible to ever be in compliance with Trump’s NSPM #7.
Fun fact, "camel" is a transcription error. It's actually "It is easier for a (thick) rope to go through the eye of a needle..."
In the Greek the book is written in, κάμηλος means camel, while κάμιλος means (thick) rope. Translations in other languages of the time also say rope.
And just based on common sense, rope makes more sense.
That is fun. TIL.
The story I'd heard was not that it's a transcription error, but closer to a pun. Readers would be familiar with the term for a ship's rope, and the minor linguistic shift highlighted the absurdity of such an idea.
Interesting though about translations to other languages. I'll have to dig further on the subject.
So it's not a challenge for a rich person to extrude camels through eyes of needles?
Acts 2:43-47 “Life Among Believers”
The believers sold all their stuff, loved everyone, and things were great. If the US is a Christian nation, why aren’t we doing that? (Rhetorical)
Just say that you’re God’s special little boy. Then you’re free to commit as many sins you like.
No no, no - that's not it. You have to get your sycophants to say it.
Does a 3d printed camel count if you consider the extruder a needle?